An actual quote from my lovely hubby:
“If I actually listened to everything you had to say, my head would explode”
(How could you not love him!?)
I have to admit, I do think he’s onto something here. No, I’m not allowing him to use this excuse as a way to justify his Selective Listening BUT, there’s something to be said for women needing to receive or give tons of info and men needing/wanting very little.
A woman wants to know & share everything… all the little details, the before, during & after, the thoughts, reactions, emotions, and so on, and so on, and so on.
A man wants to know just enough information to move on to the next relevant topic (all other information is just white noise)
A conversation that I initiate with hubby…
Me: “How was work today?”
Me: “Anything good happen?”
Hubby: “No, not really”
Me: “So, there’s nothing worth sharing?”
Hubby: “It’s work, there’s nothing worth sharing”
Me: “Ok, I just thought there might be a good story or something”
A conversation accidentally initiated by hubby….
Hubby: “Did you get a chance to call the lawn guy today?”
Me: “Yes, I called the lawn guy and he said that they’ll be out to do the weed treatment next week. You know….. I was looking at the lawn today, and, I was thinking….. we could really use some flowers to add to that ugly area by the gate. So, I went to Home Depot and bought some daisies, phlox and peonies. You know peonies, they’re those cute flowers that Missy had at her house that I liked. And, while I was at Home Depot I was looking at the grills. I think that one you wanted just went on sale. I like that one but I also like the one with the extra burner. Speaking of grills, don’t forget that we have Joe & Kim’s bbq this weekend. Did you know that Joe & Kim just went on vacation to Cancun? I’d like to go to Cancun…maybe we can plan our next vacation there? You know how much I love margaritas. Maybe we should go out for Mexican tonight?”
Hubby: “Good lord, I just wanted to know about the lawn”
Me: “What do you mean, I told you about the lawn?”
And, then… His Head Explodes…..
(or at least, this is the dramatic reaction he’d have you believe occurs… as a result of my overflow of unnecessary information)
I recently came across a great video by Mark Gungor that provides a fantastic explanation of the Differences Between the Male & Female Brains. Mark is a marriage speaker who has an entire series called “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” (more info can be found here: http://www.laughyourway.com/). And, let’s be honest, laughter is part of the fabric of my marriage (otherwise hubby would never let me share these stories!)
In one of my previous posts about men “making an effort”, I discussed Male Sleep Mode. The interesting skill men posess where they can seemingly shut off their mental faculties and think about nothing. I’ll admit, at the time, I was unaware of the “nothing box”.
Thank you Mark… for the enlightening details (you know how women crave details!).
And, while the nothing box probably does indeed exist, I’m not convinced that this male behavior doesn’t also include a type of “battery conservation mode”. After all, as confirmed by my hubby, we know that if a man’s brain is strained in any way, he needs to “take a break” so it doesn’t explode…so, off to the nothing box he goes!
For a woman, the challenge of course, is extracting him from his nothing box and/or his sleep mode. As I mentioned in my other post, I’ve found that one of the only surefire ways to “wake him up” is to press a button (sort of like a computer in a similar mode). And, as a woman who likes to see immediate results, I can be pretty good at pressing buttons.
Just be sure that, if he’s not “rebooting” quick enough, you don’t push too many buttons at once. The last thing you want to do, is cause an all system shut down. I can assure you this can cause a whole new problem that you won’t want to deal with!
So, what boxes does your hubby have in his head??