Well, Christmas is over and I’m sure there are a wide variety of stories that I could share with you but I’d like to start by sharing a gift that provided our family with hours of entertainment. I like to call it the Men’s Excuse Book … you’ll understand more in a second!
This gift was given to me by hubby’s uncle. This particular uncle is pretty much an exact replica of hubby (perhaps even ramped up a notch or two). I can do nothing but offer sympathy to his poor wife (who should probably start her own blog!).
Anyhow, this lovely, well thought out and generous gift, was an eye-opening little book actually called: The Good Wife Guide – 19 Rules For Keeping a Happy Husband.
Now let me set the stage a bit, in case you are unfamiliar with the educational value of this little treasure (a version of it has been circulating over email for a while).
This book includes excerpts from Ladies’ Homemaker Monthly. This journal (from the 1950s) is a testimony to old-fashioned family values. Their most notable adage was “You can judge a good woman by how many well-dressed children she has and the contentment of her husband”. This book is apparently fantastic fun for parties.. where you can watch all the men beat their chests as they bond together in public, each one knowing that when they get home their wives are gonna kick their butts!
I should also probably mention before I dive into some of these gems…. that hubby & I are EQUAL partners in our house (sometimes one of us pulls more weight, but eventually the pendulum swings back the other way – assuming of course that he’s actually listening to what needs to be done!?) That being said, hubby never passes up on the opportunity to try to tell me how to “Be A Better Wife”…. Gotta love him!
So, while I could spend hours outlining the helpful passages from this guide, I’ll just pick a few of my favorite helpful hints to ensure a happy marriage!
- Make sure the house is spotless before your husband is due to arrive home. (my house would always be spotless if hubby didn’t live here!)
- If your husband forgets to call and tell you he’s going to be late, don’t make him feel worse by giving him a hard time. (hubby would be getting far more than a hard time at my house.. remember the post about Swift Kicks In the Butt??)
- No matter how trying your day may have been, don’t burden him with your trivial woes. (most of my woes are a result of my dear hubby… )
And my personal favorites…. which I’ll actually type out completely because I know you’ll truly enjoy them!
- Occasionally your husband’s mind may be far too preoccupied to engage in idle chitchat. If, instead of hanging on your every word, he mumbles one word responses to your questions… don’t take it personally. Sometimes saying, “I love you,” means saying nothing at all. (or he’s just gone into his nothing box.. a place where he spends WAY too much time)
- A man’s needs are simple and his requests are few. In that case, it should be a pleasure, not a chore, to put his happiness ahead of your own. Don’t expect special acknowledgement of words of praise for your efforts – it’s your role to support him and make him feel special, not the other way around. (So much for my theory on Love Notes!)
As I mentioned earlier.. I think there are some far better titles for this book:
- A Man’s Excuse Book
- The Quickest Way to A Divorce
- Who Needs Harmony In The Home?
These titles more accurately portray why anyone would write such absurd suggestions. Each & every “rule” provides an excuse or perhaps a pass for a husband’s crappy behavior!
It does indeed however, provide a good laugh. And the funny part is, that it illustrates the women of the 1950s were struggling with all the same issues that I tend to write about in this blog! Too bad they didn’t have the internet back then so they too could vent about all those wonderful male traits!
And even more apparent, is the fact that men haven’t evolved in any way over the last 60 or so years! How Sad!!
You think I would be discouraged at the mocking tone. However the opposite is true. I find it encouraging that you are reading the book and am hopeful that over time you will begin to see the wisdom within.
OMG, I totally want that book!!! Not because I am June Cleaver; but because I would love to have girls night and re-write this book!!! Maybe even model for pictures…
Anyhow, new to your blog, I found it on blogexplosion and I will come back again!!!
Thanks for the giggles and don’t forget,
A happy man doesn’t have his wife spreading around his secrets and personal beliefs. She should listen intently while sitting cross-legged, sipping her tea (with cup and saucer) nodding intently and not speaking. After all, a happy husband doesn’t have to hear his wife to love her.
AKA
A happy man doesn’t pay attention to his wife when she is speaking let alone writing a blog about him. She does listen to everything he says and just before he takes his last sip of beer, she smiles intently as she knows that the tranquilizer she has slipped will kick in momentarily leaving her speachless….and in a peaceful setting.
Danon ~
Thanks for stopping by.. and for your wonderful example! However, sometimes it’s estrogen that you need to slip into their drink (lol!).
http://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/a-sprinkle-of-estrogen-in-your-coffee/
But.. be careful.. things could start mysteriously breaking….
http://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/suspicious-circumstances-surround-mr-coffee/
Okay….I am the “poor wife” mentioned in the above blog. I was excited to learn “the book” made it to the Diaries, and enjoyed reading the blog so much that I decided to share it with my hubby. You’ll never guess how much he enjoyed it……First, I will preface with how I chuckled numerous times out loud as I read, and was a bit sad when the reading of the blog was over. So I really have no understanding (feel free to help me out here!) that as he read, not a peep, not a chuckle was uttered (huh?!). The only remark was at the infamous mention of him as the “uncle” in print (he loves to seem important).
I loved the “equality” part that was written to preface the anecdotes and let me note that your dear “uncle” (who is not that much older than your hubby) thought that was why the book would be such a hit with you…..he thinks it histerical that you ‘ try’ so hard to prove your importance in the relationship. I guess I know MY place!!!! ( I’ll be logging on much more as you can probably tell!) After all, who really needs” Harmony in the Home” anyway?!!!!
I’m off to clean the dishes and box my trivial woes!!!!!
K.B ~ You know that I have immense sympathy for you
and I cannot say I’m surprised at the lack of laughter from your hubby. Sometimes the truth hurts and he’s obviously struggling with that! My only suggestion would be to take out that box of woes and dump them all over the kitchen table, sprinkle some in the bathroom, maybe some in the garage… eventually he will have to wade through them!
“So I really have no understanding (feel free to help me out here!) that as he read, not a peep, not a chuckle was uttered (huh?!). The only remark was at the infamous mention of him as the “uncle” in print (he loves to seem important).”
Perhaps it was the alternating contempt, vitriol, and condescension from the both of you.
I’m guessing he bought the book as a joke, just as I’m guessing that Rod’s comment on it above also is a joke, but I’m having genuine difficulty telling which of your barbs (e.g., “I have immense sympathy for you,” “most of my woes are a result of my dear hubby…”) are intended solely for comic effect, and which are serious.
We like to keep you men guessing…. comedy masked as seriousness or seriousness masked as comedy. Sort of like communicating with a man, you’re never entirely sure what’s going on.