I’ve had an incredibly busy week and I’m headed to the Sting concert tonight (holy hottie!) but I’m trying to squeeze in a quick post!
Before I dive into my story… I just need to take a moment again to mention.. I’m going to see Sting tonight!!!!!! I don’t know what it is about him but. Oh. My. God. He is someone who just oozes sexiness. He happens to be one of the men on my list. You know the list I’m talking about. The, if only I wasn’t married list. Or the, even though I am married list. Or probably more accurately, the… my dear husband knows I’ll never ever have a shot with him, so I’ll entertain her absurd, never to be recognized, celebrity fantasy list. This list for me is incredibly short and it also happens to include Marky Mark. Ok yes, I just said it out loud. Or, more importantly wrote it on the internet, which makes it glaringly set in stone, and also quite possibly somewhat embarrassing. Marky Mark is indeed on my list (even though he’s technically Mark Wahlberg now…) And, much like Sting, I can’t exactly put my finger on why. All I know is that he’s just sexy to me. And, I guess that’s all it takes. Some intangible, hard to explain quality, that makes me all weak in the knees.
Anyhow… back to buoys. Or, more specifically… let’s talk about my pool.
You may have noticed a trend with my summer posts. They involve a lot of outdoor time, entertaining friends and swimming in our pool.
Hubby is part fish. And, quite possibly part beer (this part will be important later).
He can spend hours upon hours floating around, relaxing & sunning himself in our pool. He can stay in there until the sun has crisped his little noggin’ and until the water has pruned his little fingers & toes. He’ll sit on the bench in the deep end with his Nook, he’ll toss our nephews over and over until they are exhausted or, he’ll float around endlessly by himself, while expertly balancing an ice cold beer.
There are many days where I’ll go out to run errands or go to work and come home to find hubby floating around in our pool. Sometimes he’s by himself and sometimes with a friend or his brother. It’s the days where he’s not alone that are the most challenging for me…. because I just never know what might happen………….
Please let me explain.
There are really only 2 rules in our pool. One rule is no inflatable rafts – this is not my rule.. it’s hubby’s rule (and trust me, it’s probably worthy of it’s own post!) The other rule is absolutely no glass, at any time.
Simple, straightforward, basic rules that everyone can follow. There’s no room for confusion or misinterpretation. (Right??!!!)
I’ve actually purchased a variety of acrylic glassware and everyone knows that if they want to go into the pool they must pour their beverage into one of these plastic cups. Simple, basic and SAFE rules, easy for anyone to understand.. however, it’s important to remember that while I don’t have any kids, I do have an adult child named hubby!
So, imagine my surprise when I go out one Saturday afternoon (I leave dear hubby in the pool with his brother) and I return to find a well orchestrated Corona commercial being prepped in my backyard. The boys, who have had consistent Corona consumption while I’ve been away, have decided that it would be a great idea to create a beach-like, tropical commercial scene in my pool. Complete with that ever-so-iconic Corona bottle. Forget the plastic cups. Forget the no glass rule. Forget even any common sense that one might employ with swimming in a pool while consuming alcohol.
The boys have taken it upon themselves to refill each empty Corona bottle with the precise amount of water necessary so that it’s perfectly balanced to float around our pool. And there they sit, the boys grinning and giggling as I come home and enter the backyard. Like little children, they know they are in trouble, but they are so proud of their ingenious little prank that they can’t quite contain themselves.
Yes, you guessed it…. they are indeed surrounded by 15-20 perfectly balanced beer bottles all drifting in the current created from our pool filter.
And, as I glare at them and shake my head………..with sheepish grins on their faces.. they say to me…..
”But they look like buoys!!!!!!!!!!!”
But did you laugh? Were you hiding a grin so they couldn’t see it like when kids do something really bad but funny at the same time? I would have and your post made me grin…:)
Sheree…. sssshhhhh…. I’m afraid I have to plead the 5th on this one, on the grounds that I cannot divulge information to the blogosphere that may indicate that I chuckled a bit, or that I smiled as I walked into the house. That sort of admission would only encourage this type of behavior (just like with kids!)
Ha ha ha ha! This is totally something my husband would do! And yeah, I would laugh, but it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt!
Just Lisa.. Actually it’s all fun & games until somebody has to drain the pool to find glass fragments… which is far worse than someone cutting their foot or even losing an eye. Ok, maybe not FAR worse… but still worse
LOL
Yuck. How much beer did you get in the pool? Corona commercials and viagra commercials (involving his and her bathtubs on the beach wtf?) are better left to the tv.
Kit ~ The good news is the beers were empty when they starting filling them with pool water to make them float. The bad new is the beers were all empty when they filled them with water. (which of course means that they had consumed somewhere btwn 15-20 beers!)
Next time I’m in Jersey I’m stopping by and hanging with your husband, not because he loves beer and seems like a day in day out riot…but because I did the EXACT same thing in a friend’s pool last Sunday afternoon. HA!
There’s no rhyme or reason, just look, shake your head, and walk away. Silliness to us guys is the equivalent of ladies liking shoes and purses. Just gotta deal.
skrapdiggy ~ While I’d love to say, “sure, stop by” I just can’t allow hubby to have another partner in crime.. sorry!
I’m laughing! This was such a great post! And I have a couple of comments for you….
First let me start off by telling you that OMG Sting! I’m very envious! I saw an interview of Sting conducted by Barbara Walters once…he was sitting on a white couch wearing a gauzy white shirt unbuttoned…sexy, and draw string pants..you know the kind… and he’s barefooted. Oh my! I have always loved The Police…grew up listening to them, been to concerts. I never truly appreciated the sexiness of that man until that interview….
Second…I have shared, on more than one occassion, your writing with my hubby (ol’goat). We snicker and giggle and sometimes full belly laughs are had. This is because we can SO relate to your stories! And this one is fabulous! Ol’goat wanted me to ask…”do you have any pictures of the Corona Commercial in your pool?” If so, he would love to see them!!
Sherri ~
I’m so happy to hear that someone else shares my appreciation for Sting. And, I think I know the exact interview you are referring to.. .as well as that exact gauzy shirt ….. YUM!
I’m also glad you can appreciate the stories, however… I’m also sad for you that you can appreciate the stories!! Because I know that, if you’re anything like me, you just want to smack somebody (who shall be nameless) in the head every so often! Unfortunately, I didn’t get any pictures of the commercial (although in retrospect I wish I had). At the time, I sort of felt like I’d be reinforcing bad behavior if I ran to grab my camera!. I did however read your response to hubby and guess what, he has graciously offered to re-enact this scene just so that I can get a picture for you & ol’ goat. He’s such a great guy & a team player. I’m sure you can see why I love him. LOL!
Silly people. Buoys don’t drift. They are intended to mark the depth of the channel at specific points, which means they are anchored to the bottom at that spot with chain — oops, I’d better shut up before I give them ideas.