Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

Did you ever have an argument with your spouse where you both insist that you are right.

 

But really, all the while, as you ping pong back and forth to make your case, you know that YOU are the one who is right?  And then, at the end of the debate, you both walk away feeling like you’ve “won”.

 

Well, to be honest, you probably didn’t win.  There are really no winners when you both think you’ve won… there are just delusions… because sometimes (heck, most times) one of you is actually wrong (GASP! – who ME?  Wrong?  NO WAY!!!)

 

But on occasion, you sometimes feel that you’ve made such a firm stance on your correctness, that you’ve swayed the other person just enough. so that they’ve teetered towards your side of right from their side of wrong.

 

And there you have it.  A stalemate of rightness.

 

As with most debates, the crux of the argument is oftentimes your perception of something, or your recollection of something, or perhaps even something you heard or saw.  Therefore, there’s virtually no way whatsoever to prove your “rightness”.  And, that’s where the debate ends.  You can’t settle the argument because you can’t go back in time to replay what someone may have or may not have said.  You can’t always agree on how you heard something or what someone was feeling.  BUT, on the rarest of occasions… you do in fact have proof that you are right.  And those days, well those days, are magical days.  The “I told you so” days that every relationship thrives on (or perhaps dies on – but let’s not go there today!).

 

Too many debates end without an actual end.  No closure.  And, I’m here to tell you, there’s no closure more sweet than the closure of proven correctness (insert evil laugh here – muahahahahaha)

 

And that folks is the story I’d like to tell today.  So… here it goes:

 

security lightWe have motion sensor security lights outside of our garage.  For a really long time one of the lights wasn’t working, I asked hubby about it and he told me that the bulb wasn’t making a proper connection.   So, the fixture sat there.. only ½ working for quite some time.

 

A couple of weeks ago when I arrived home after dark, I realized that the other light bulb was out.

 

So I say to hubby…. “Hon, I think we need to buy a new light bulb for outside”

He replies: “No. I told you, that light doesn’t work anymore.”

So I say: “Well, I know you mentioned that the one side wasn’t making a connection, but the other one is now out – so we should buy some new bulbs”

Visibly aggravated he says:  “No, the entire light is broken and hasn’t worked for quite some time”

And I say: “No….. one bulb has been out for as long as I can remember but the other side has been lighting up until today”

 

And the debate has begun.

 

Me:  “Hon, I’m absolutely positive that one light bulb has been working”

Hubby:  “No it hasn’t”

Me:  “Yes, it has”

Hubby:  “No, you’re wrong… that light hasn’t worked for weeks”

 

I feel the need to pause in this story to remind you (or to direct you to some old posts – just click on the following links) about hubby’s Selective Vision and his inability to notice basic things around him (HERE or HERE).  So, now that I’ve put that out there back to our debate.

 

Me:  “The left side of the light has been working.. I’m pretty sure we just need a new bulb”

Hubby:  “You are completely wrong.  The light’s broken.  It’s been broken for a while.  It hasn’t been lighting up at all.  We just need to buy a whole new light fixture”

Me: “Uhm… I know the one side has been broken… you told me about the problem months ago, but I’m still pretty sure the left side has been working.”

Hubby:  “Nope, you are wrong.”

 

I can see this is going nowhere.  We have hit a stalemate of correctness.  We’re both right, neither of us is budging, and that’s it.

 

So I say:  “Hmmppff… ok, I guess we need to buy a new light”  and then I walk away.  Now, this is that moment I spoke about above.  The walk away moment where I still know that I am right.

 

A day or 2 go by.  I go to the store.  I buy a new light fixture AND a new light bulb.  When I get home, I wait until it’s dark and I replace the left light bulb.   HELLLOOOOOOOOO…. Let There Be Light!    So, just for the hell of it (I’m on a roll now).   I decide to take that brand new light blub out of the left socket and I put it into the right socket (remember – the one that’s totally broken and has been for months).  And, lo and behold…… Let There Be Light!   Now I’m aggravated that I have to go back to the store because not only do I need to return the new fixture BUT I also didn’t have the foresight to buy 2 light bulbs.  So, a day and 2 new light bulbs later, I have a fully functioning light fixture outside.  Imagine that!!

 

What a "broken" light looks like  - Oh, WAIT, that's not broken!

What a “broken” light looks like – Oh, WAIT, that’s not broken!

I say nothing.   There’s no need for “I told you so’s”.  The illuminated driveway will speak for itself…. Or, so I think.

 

Now, I’ll refer you back to hubby’s inability to actually notice things around him.

It’s been 5 full days since I “fixed” the light.  7 full days since our original debate.  And, there’s been no mention from a certain someone about the ray of light that has magically appeared outside our garage.  So, maybe, just maybe, he hasn’t actually noticed it yet. Perhaps folks, you are now joining me in my “I told you so” moment because if he really hasn’t seen it, this blog is what’s going to give it away!

 

There are really no words necessary.. I know I was right.    Somebody else will eventually (at least after reading this blog!) know I was right.  And, we’re back to having light on our driveway.  Did everybody win…… well yes, in this particular debate, I do think so!

 

Become a fan of The Hubby Diaries on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thehubbydiaries

or

Follow on Twitter: http://twitter.com/thehubbydiaries

Read Full Post »

This has been a crazy, exhausting and celebratory week.  Mini Hubby just turned 2 and I had the opportunity to reflect on the last 2 years of my life.  Two years that seemed to go by in the blink of an eye.

 

I can’t believe this little opinionated, independent, none-too-shy to express himself (often with an incredibly loud “NOOOOOOO MOMMMMY!”) little boy, was not even a part of our lives just two years ago.  I think about all the ways we’ve grown as a family.. more laundry, more messes, more pee all over the bathroom (and bed… and even the couch) but also more love, more giggles and a whole lot more insanity as my world became filled with 2 versions of my wonderful husband.

 

It’s like I have two toddlers, with opinions on just about everything.  From what we watch on tv to what I serve for dinner.  From the acceptable amount of time that crumbs can be left on the counter to what time we should all go to bed.  They both pretty much battle me over everything…. I however, have many years of training.  Hubby has prepared me well for this new little tornado that’s entered my house.  It’s like the last 10 years of our marriage he’s been prepping me for this new life.  All of his idiosyncrasies, his bizarre and ever-changing likes & dislikes, his lack of listening, lack of cleaning – you name it – it was apparently all to build my tolerance for the day we welcomed an actual little person living in our house!

 

Well… I accept the challenge. 

 

This little guy entered our world like a storm (over 3 weeks early) and he hasn’t stopped since.  And quite simply, after watching him grow over the past 2 years, I couldn’t imagine life without him.

 

So, when someone from LifebankUSA contacted me recently about a contest they are running: The LifebankUSA Peace of Mind $500 off Cord Blood Banking giveaway on Facebook I happily agreed to share it with all of you.  You see, Hubby & I are LifebankUSA customers.  Before mini-hubby came into our lives we did a lot research about cord blood banking.  And we agreed that with the unknown future of medical advancements, banking our cord blood was something that was very important to us.   If, under some horrific course of events, life threw some terrible medical problem at us 15 or 20 years from now that could have somehow be helped by cord blood, and we hadn’t saved it,  we would never forgive ourselves.

 

When we found out that LifebankUSA was the only company that offers cord blood, placenta blood, and tissue banking – and was the first to release placenta-derived stem cells for a successful transplant… we decided to do the whole trifecta.  For us, it was all about peace of mind.  I know that there are countless debates about stem cell research… but honestly when it comes to your baby (whether that baby is 2 days old or 30 years old) wouldn’t you do anything possible to keep them safe and healthy?  For us, that answer was undoubtedly yes… So, the next step was easy…find a company that could provide us with this service and then pray that you will never actually need to use it (it’s sort of like a life insurance policy…which, by the way, we both also got when mini hubby came along!).

 

500-logo3Anyhow, like I mentioned, they are having a contest on Facebook to win $500 off banking .  You can find the contest here:  LifebankUSA Peace of Mind ContestPLUS, they also offered me a special coupon code that is only available for Hubby Diaries readers.  If you sign up at  www.lifebankusa.com and use the code:  BLOG you will get a $250 Visa gift card with any of their banking programs (discounts cannot be combined).  This is a great deal, if you’re considering cord or placenta blood banking.

 

Through cord blood banking, you can collect and preserve potentially lifesaving stem cells, and doing so could one day save the life of your child or a blood relative. You can bank even more stem cells by collecting them from 2 usable sources of stem cell-rich blood: the umbilical cord and the placenta.   Who knows what the future holds… and in my opinion, it’s better to be prepared for anything.. which is why we did both!

 

And,  in case that’s not enough, don’t forget… one day maybe they’ll be able to use stem cells to actually clone people and, if I’m ever feeling like my life isn’t challenging enough,  I could arrange to get a few additional EXACT REPLICAS of my boys.    Okkkkkkkkkkk….. maybe not….. or better yet, HELL  NO!   I’m not that crazy!  HA!  

 

So, I encourage you to do your own research and check it out… if it’s right for you and your family enter the contest and use the discount code: BLOG!!

 

(for the record – for those of you who are missing the humor in my above comment and are now all fired up because you’re anti cloning-  here’s my disclaimer:  I don’t believe LifebankUSA offers or participates in cloning people and I don’t personally think people should be cloned.  There ya go, disclaimer over, lighten up people!)

I guess I'm part of that 99%!!

I guess I’m part of that 99%!!

Read Full Post »

There is no single more recurring topic in this blog than laundry.

 

Since they say a picture is worth 1000 words… so today, I’m providing you with 4000 words.   Or, a pictorial glimpse into “My Life Through Laundry”

 

To start, you will see a basket filled with hubby’s clean & folded laundry from almost 2 weeks ago.  Behind this basket of laundry is an un-packed suitcase from a trip we took this past weekend,  filled with – yep, you guessed it…. dirty laundry.  And, oh yeah, beside the clean basket of clothes…… well, don’t ya know it…. more dirty laundry.

laundry basket

 

This is a snapshot of our bed (yes, it’s un-made – Don’t judge me!)… but, more importantly, it’s a shot of hubby’s jammies from last night – aka laundry.

bed laundry

 

This is a quick glimpse of hubby’s dresser.  It looks just as it always does… with a pile of folded & clean laundry on top.  (Laundry winds up here because some days, I actually need the basket  – you know, the one holding the clean laundry –  to go and carry more dirty laundry to be washed in the basement.  When I need the basket, I place the clean laundry on top of the bed… and then, it gets mysteriously moved here – to the TOP of the dresser.

dresser laundry

 

This is a view into our bathroom…. Or perhaps more accurately, more dirty laundry.  This laundry usually consists of what hubby wore yesterday.  It’s ever-present.  Perhaps not for more than 1 day – and hubby would have you believe that this laundry is, in fact, a gift to me.  In-so-much-as, if he comes to bed after me, he takes his clothes off in the bathroom so he won’t disturb me (there he is – my genuinely loving guy… always looking out for me).  Until of course you realize that Every-Day there’s the previous day’s outfit on the floor of the bathroom (and quite possibly – assorted other bonus items – do I see more jammies??!!)

 

bathroom laundry

 

I will also have you know that I literally just snapped these shots… each picture is not from a different day.  They are all from TODAY.  From 10 minutes ago.  I can take the same pictures tomorrow and then again on Friday.  This is my life.    The life I have chosen.   And…. You all wonder why I blog so much about laundry??

 

Share your best laundry pic over on our facebook page:  http://facebook.com/thehubbydiaries

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

You would think that after being married for almost 11 years – YIKES!  I would inherently know what to expect from hubby.   You’d think I could no longer be surprised by any of his quirks, or his actions.  You’d think that I could complete his sentences and just know what he’s going to want for dinner or how he’ll answer a question.  BUT, if you really believe that, you haven’t been reading the blog for very long.

 

Because the only constant in my life, is change.  When I’m POSITIVE hubby will only eat plain pizza, he orders sausage & peppers.  When I’m certain beyond any reasonable doubt that his favorite beer is Heineken…. today it’s not, it’s Arrogant Bastard (yes – this is really a beer.. and very aptly named for my hubby – HA!).  But tomorrow it could just as easily be DogFish Head… and next Tuesday it just may be some sort of Dead Guy Ale.  You see, hubby likes to be difficult, annoying… ok, he likes to keep our marriage spicy and fresh and new – he does this by constantly changing his mind and by constantly making me second guess everything I think I know about him.   Now, that’s love.  I’m sure he’s doing this for my benefit – so I get to re-discover him each and every day.  I get to fall in love with someone new all the time.  UGH!  Really, I just want to smack him upside the head and say… “you can’t be absurdly adamant about something one second and then pull a complete 180 in your opinion 2 days later!”  And he would ever-so-lovingly reply “why not?”

 

And so here I sit… always wondering what new thing I will learn about hubby today.  Maybe it truly is that men never grow up…. Because his behavior is not unlike that of my toddler.  He’s easily distracted. He can immediately forget what he just told me.  He’s difficult simply because he’s testing his limits.  He’s engrossed in something so completely for 10 minutes and then he’s moved on to something totally different.   I think I just discovered something.  I live with TWO 2 year olds (although, only one can annoy me with his beer choices!)

 

Sometimes, I write these blog posts and I find myself way off on a tangent… but I guess that’s what happens when you’re in love and you simultaneously want to smack your spouse upside the head.  You’re pulled in two opposing directions and reeling yourself back in when you’re ranting can be tough.  Today’s post was supposed to be about t-shirts… and geez… look where I am.  So, here’s my graceful transition to t-shirts….

 

It all has to do with that consistency thing again.  There is generally one thing that’s IS consistent.  Hubby has preferred clothes.  So, while he may have a full closet and many drawers full of options, he wears like the same 5 things… over and over and over and over.  He is imparting this lovely “style” to our son.  Any time I send hubby upstairs to grab an outfit for mini-hubby, he comes down with one of the same 2 shirts.  Every week, the same 2 shirts.  His response “well he likes these shirts”.  My response “YOU like these shirts… he’s 22 months old – he could sort of care less what shirt he has on…. unless you make an issue of it!”.   I suppose if I wait long enough, like almost every other “consistent”, one day I’ll wake up and hubby will have decided on a brand new “every-day” shirt for our son.  Or, one day I will wake up (this one is probably more likely) and our toddler, will indeed have his own opinion of shirts – and he will demand the same shirt every day.  Will this be learned behavior directly from his Dada OR will this be normal toddler behavior that will now be exhibited by BOTH of my children??

 

I can only imagine a day where mini-hubby and Hubby are now teenagers and they are both eating the same thing for lunch every day, drinking the exact same beverages, giving the exact same reason that cannot (or will not) do laundry, wearing the same shirt every day (still)… until that one magical day.  The day where they wake up and decide that the lunch-of-the-week has fallen out of favor only to be replaced with another “new” lunch that will get consumed for the next month straight.  OR,  at some point, will my toddler surpass my hubby and actually grow up into diversity?   If there’s anyone taking pity on me from out there in the universe… the latter will be my future.  Please, oh please, let this be my future!

 

Here my friends… is one of the 2 favorite shirts (and yes, my Super Men are mighty cute!)

Super Men

 

Read Full Post »

In the almost 5 years I’ve been blogging there is one recurring topic that I can’t quite seem to stay away from.    In case you’re a new reader I’ll share just a few posts with you (HERE, HERE , HERE & HERE)

 

Most people dislike 4 letter words but me, nope, I like a lot of 4 letter words. … words like Love, Food, Hugs & Beer (and probably too often, just about all of those 4 letter words that are incredibly inappropriate in mixed company – yep, I have a mouth like a sailor!).  It’s generally the 6 letter words that I hate.. words like, crumbs, chores, toilet,  but there is one word that can top them all….the ever-so-dreaded 7 letter word that I quite simply, just despise – LAUNDRY.

 

I hate every aspect of it.

I hate the piles of dirty laundry in the closet.  The piles of dirty laundry in the bathroom.  The piles of dirty laundry next to the bed.

I hate the sorting.

I hate the process of carrying 6 baskets of dirty laundry to the basement.

I hate dirty towels.

I hate dirty sheets.

(I hate that I’m the only one who recognizes that linens actually need laundering….)

I hate remembering that I have clothes in the dryer before they become a crumbled mess.

I hate the absurd missing sock conundrum (which has apparently extended to actual toddler clothes – since I never seem to get out what I put in)

I hate the countless hours on any given weekend where laundry looms just underneath the surface and permeates just about anything we do.

I hate the weight of the laundry as it pushes down on my shoulders if I should opt to focus on any other activity (besides laundry) during a weekend.

I hate, Hate, HATE folding all the clean laundry.

And, I hate putting all the clean laundry away.  (or leaving it to be put away on the bed only to find that hubby has moved piles of it to the dresser and will live like this for the next 2 weeks – but that’s an entirely different blog post)

 

But the one thing that I don’t HATE (or at least not in the way I hate everything noted above) is the need to flip inside out laundry to be right side out.  I know this is the nemesis of Mom’s around the world.  And I know that many a woman has instilled a laundry rule… that you get back laundry exactly-the-way you put your laundry into the basket (assuming it makes it into a basket).  And, perhaps, when my toddler becomes a teen, I will be instituting this exact same rule (ok – it’s likely I probably will) BUT, for now.. this has never been a huge deal to me.   If I take a moment to self-analyze I think it’s because I hate the laundry folding process so much already, that there’s virtually no way to make it worse for me.  Inside out – Or right-side-out  folding… they both pretty much suck!  So, while I may grumble under my breath as I flip t-shirts to be right-side-out… I’m grumbling because I’m folding laundry… not because 50% of the load is inside out.

 

Which makes where I’m headed below highly humorous to me.

 

2 weeks ago hubby did a load of laundry.  WHAT??  You may be saying……  So, I’ll say it again.  Hubby did a load of laundry.   Trust me when I tell you, I’m more surprised than you are.  It probably only happened because he ran out of underwear.  And, after an interesting recent conversation, about the under-wearing habits of most men… he was probably guilted into doing a load.

 

Anyhow… after he folded his basket of laundry he decides to take a dig at me.. or, perhaps from his point of view, he decides to “point something out to me”.

 

Hubby: “Hey hon, do you know that a ton of your shirts were inside out”

Me:  “Uhhh… hmmmm..”

Hubby:  “I just wanted to let you know….”

Me:  “You did….. Huh?”

Hubby:  “Yes.  You know, it makes this task even worse when I have to right-side-out every t-shirt”

Me:  “It does, does it?”  trying to wrack my brain for the last time he did any laundry

Hubby:  “Yes.  Maybe you could take them off right-side-out before you put them into the basket?”

Me:  wondering the last time he even put clothes ‘in the basket’ “You know, most of your t-shirts are usually inside out”

Hubby:  “No they’re not”

Me:   “Hon, I hate to break this to you but you’re mistaken… almost all of your shirts are inside out”

Hubby:  “I’m positive that you’re wrong.   I’ve always been good at taking them off right-side-out.. because my Mom had a rule growing up that if you didn’t she would fold them inside out”

Me:  “ Really…. All your life you’ve been good at making sure they’re not inside out.”

Hubby: “Yep.”

 

And I just let this conversation die… in the midst of the inaccuracies in which it was becoming increasingly buried.

 

Last weekend things were “back to normal” and I did laundry.

 

As I folded the laundry, I counted the total # of hubby’s shirts…. There were 17 in total.

 

Hubby came inside from doing some yard work.

 

Me:  “Hey babe… I would never normally do this but……”

Hubby:  “Yeah?”

Me:  “Remember last week when you so graciously pointed out that I didn’t right-side-out my t-shirts?”

Hubby:  “Yes?”

Me: “Remember how you so matter-of-factly told me that you never put inside out t-shirts into the hamper?”

Hubby:  “Yep!”

Me:  “Well, I did laundry today”

Hubby “Ok….”

Me:  “And again, I would never be pointing this out if you hadn’t opened the door to this conversation……”

Hubby:  blank stare

Me:  “Well, I counted your t-shirts… there were 17 of them.”

Hubby:  “Ok”

Me:  “Do you want to know how many were inside out?”

Hubby: “I’m not sure….. Do I?”

Me: “You do.  It was TWELVE of them”

Hubby:  silence………………………..

Me: “I just feel the need to remind you again….. I have done 16,928 loads of your laundry (give or take).  And, I’ve never complained about having to right-side-out your shirts”

Hubby:  more silence……………

Hubby: “ I’m sorry.  I will try to be better”

Me:  “I honestly don’t care…. But I’m sure your Mom would be very disappointed in you.”

Hubby:  “Hmmmmmm”

 

And there you have it my dear readers……………….I will let you know how the next load of laundry goes!

 

Become a fan of The Hubby Diaries on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thehubbydiaries

or

Follow on Twitter: http://twitter.com/thehubbydiaries

Read Full Post »

Last year I was on a mission.  A mission to find a cool gift for hubby.  A mission to give him a gift that he would tell his friends about.  A mission to buy something that stood out.  While he may have a variety of hobbies, some of which fall pretty far down on my “approval” list (things like his motorcycle –which I despise.  Or his video game interest – which I don’t understand.  Or his obsession with new tvs – which I can’t support for fear we’d have a new tv every 6 months!).  It’s not always easy to find him a gift that he will like, that is unique, and that has some sort of longer term appeal – you know, something beyond an enormous box of cookies (although – I did give him a Cookie of the Month subscription once – which I *think* went over well??).

 

So, as I scoured the internet and asked around, I found myself… like usual…. coming up with nothing.

 

Then one day I was feeding my reality tv addiction.  An addiction that hubby despises (probably as much as I despise his motorcycle!).

 

“Why do you watch this crap?” he asks.

“Because sometimes it’s awesome, mindless entertainment!”  I happily reply.

“But, you have it on all the time….  Who can possibly watch this many house buying/renovating shows?  Who cares about these moronic celeb wannabes, or the failing bar/restaurant, or the cupcake baking, or Donald Trump’s ridiculousness, or the.. – fill in just about any blank- ?”

“Lots of people do.  That’s why there’s so much of this crap on tv!”  I solidly state my case.

“But you’re a smart, successful woman.  How can you possibly be interested in this nonsense??” as he worries about my brain becoming mush – he’s such a caring guy!!

“But see, that’s why I watch it.  I’m under so much pressure all day at work AND I have to actually use my brain all day.  When I watch this garbage – there’s no brain necessary!!”

“But, it’s rotting the brain you have.”  Again, such concern for me (see why I love him??)

“I suppose that might be true – But, even you watch it sometimes!”  touché hubby. touché.

“I only watch it because you have it on….”

“Not true” I snarkily reply

“Ok, tell me what I watch… if you’re so certain.”

Shark Tank

Silence…….

Gotcha!

 

So hubby has to admit.  Even if it’s by silence, that he does, in fact, watch (and enjoy) Shark Tank.

 

mission beltSo, back to my original story.  I’m watching Shark Tank (wishing and praying that someday, I will come up with an idea that will be marketable and make me some moolah).  And they show this awesome product.  This seemingly nice guy has come up with a belt, called The Mission Belt – a belt without any holes…. It’s friggin genius!  You can wear the belt, like….. FOREVER.   You put on some baby weight (and I’m referring to hubby… not me!) no problem.. just loosen the belt.  You go back to the gym… no problem… just tighten the belt.   You consume too many slices of pizza & beer at dinner… no problem.  No holes, no fuss… the belt is like a magical solution to the ever-changing man belly.   It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen…. And BAM!  I’m like, that’s it!!  Awesome gift for hubby!

 

So, I run to the internet and buy a belt… (actually I buy 2 belts – one for casual wear and one for dressier occasions – in the dreamy (aka wishful thinking) hopes someday hubby will take me out on the town).

 

Well, I think I hit the jackpot.  Hubby tries on the belt.

 

“This is sooooo cool!” he says. 

“Wow, this is awesome!” he says.

“This is the smartest idea I’ve ever seen” he says.

“I will never wear another belt” he says.

 

And then……

 

“Why did you buy 2 versions?  I’ll never take this one off.. no need for 2”   And poof, in half a second he crushes all my dreams of a dressy date night.

 

Ahhhh well, such is the life I live!  My next Mission….. if I chose to accept it, is to get him all dolled up for a date.  The good news is that since the belt is so versatile, I can make it small enough to fit around my own waist and maybe, just maybe, if I dance around in only a belt, I can convince him to put it on himself and take me out??   I’ll have to let you know if this mission is successful (only – I probably won’t blog about that …..so don’t expect a full report!)

 

So, the long story short is.  These belts are awesome.  We have since purchased one as a gift for almost every male family member.  Hubby still loves his and, while he still despises my penchant for reality tv, he can admit (albeit in a whisper and behind closed doors) that sometime, just sometimes, there’s some good to be had from my “addiction” and *gasp* reality tv

 

Become a fan of The Hubby Diaries on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thehubbydiaries

or

Follow on Twitter: http://twitter.com/thehubbydiaries

 

 

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

Hubby is a smart man.  A caring man.  A compassionate man (unless of course you’re driving below the speed limit and making him late for work).  He is a good dad.  An involved dad.  A dumb dad.

 

Wait……. Did I say dumb?  I guess when you type free-flowing thoughts, sometimes your fingers get ahead of your brain…. OR, sometimes your fingers type the truth –even though your brain is saying geez… that was mean.    Your fingers… as they type (and apparently talk) say “shush brain…. I type truths….. You may not always like how they come out but the truth shall set you free…. (or at least make people laugh in an entertaining blog post).

 

So, perhaps I should explain why he’s a dumb dad.   It couldn’t be the fact that he watches bloody war movies while our 21 month old plays with his train in the family room in front of the tv.  It couldn’t be that he occasionally slips a naughty word into conversations while the mini-version of himself is within ear shot.  It’s definitely not because he lets our son eat graham crackers on the couch and then NEVER cleans up the crumbs (heck – he himself does this regularly!).  No, it’s none of these reasons.  These things are silly oops moments where hubby’s not necessarily being dumb.. he’s just being forgetful or oblivious or perhaps just being….. A Man.

 

The dumbness can best be illustrated by this past week.

 

We (and by we – I mean poor little mini-hubby) were lucky enough to contract Coxsackie this week.  If this specific word means nothing to you…. You may perhaps know this toddler illness better as Hand, Foot & Mouth disease (or if you’re a bit older you may know it simply as Hoof & Mouth disease  -which, I’m sorry – is just a horrible way to refer to a virus).  In case no one remembers what this looks like.. I’ll give you a few highlights.

 

High Fevers – Also known as 48+ hours of no sleep for Mom & Dad.  As your poor little one tosses and turns and whines and cries and you can’t do anything at all to make it better but hold him, cuddle him and pray for the sun to rise.

 

Sore Throat – This is a tough one because you don’t immediately realize what’s wrong – and you debate with each other about which tooth is causing such horrible pain as your toddler refuses to even eat yogurt.  You surmise (mistakenly) that the mere chunks of fruit in the yogurt are painful to chew… until you realize that he won’t eat anything at all, no matter how soft it is.  Add to this random outbursts of crying which makes you wonder what the heck could possibly be wrong – and if it would be horribly inappropriate to just buy some ear plugs!?

 

No Appetite – Mini-hubby can usually be bribed with yogurt to do just about anything.  But now he not only won’t eat yogurt but, no applesauce and not even ice cream.  You wrack your brain to try to come up with something that’s softer than ice cream (btw.. the answer is nothing……………)

 

Sores in the mouth/throat – You finally get a Dr diagnosis because he has that special knack of getting your toddler to let him look into his mouth – you know the knack of “let me shove this tongue depressor into your mouth no matter how much you scream or writhe (“Hey, Mom – can you please hold his arms so I can get a better look?”).  It’s a knack most parents are lacking as I have yet to even master the “let me get this toothbrush far enough into your mouth so I can brush your molars”  or the “sit still and let mommy see if you have a new tooth coming in” without getting bit or into a wrestling match with a new species better known as squirmy, tight mouthed, non-cooperative toddler.

 

Blistery, Red Rash (normally on hands & feet)  – Oddly enough, though this seems to be the driving force behind the non-scientific name of this virus.  You may, or may not ever see this rash.  We did, in fact see it, 3 days after the fever and on his knees.  Maybe I should rename the virus as Knobby Knee, Throat virus (which  honestly still sounds way better than Hoof & Mouth).

 

Now that you know the virus, the symptoms and the fun-filled week we’ve had, here’s the crux of my post.  This is VERY contagious.   I’ll say it again…. VERY contagious.   Hubby knew how contagious this is because he’s a Googler.  You know the type.  He must Google Every. Single. Thing. that we experience with our little guy.  Sometimes this is great and we are WAY informed… sometimes it’s awful because, as you may remember, hubby is an awfulizer and mini-hubby’s normal low-grade illness will sometimes be overblown into a non-existent problem beyond your wildest dreams.  Ahhhhhh…. Such is the life I lead……………..

 

Anyhow.. it’s contagious.  Oh, wait I said that.  And hubby knew that.  So tell me why……………..

 

  • He wanted to finish mini-hubby’s uneaten cup of ice cream (with mini-hubby’s spoon). And when I asked him “Why???” He responded.. “well, should I just use a different spoon?”
  • He ate the half gnawed on pieces of leftover graham crackers from mini-hubby’s dish?
  • He binky shared with mini-hubby (which is not abnormal –during illness free times) as he played a cute game with our sick little one to make him smile
  • He took the toy trumpet from our little guy and put it from mini-hubby’s mouth directly into his own, as he tooted the tune of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”

 

All the while…. I’m washing my hands 500xs a day.   Using hand sanitizer in between hand washing.  Spraying Clorox on every surface.  And, washing and re-washing binkies like there’s no tomorrow.

 

I’m happy to say… mini-hubby is on the mend.  He’s even back at school today.

 

Hubby… well, he’s in bed right now with a raging fever, shivering, moaning and whining about how awful he feels.

 

DUMB?   I don’t know, I’ll let you be the judge.

 

(and, as I type this…. I do realize that the timing is almost perfect for me to come down with this illness just in time for the weekend………………so I just may eat my words  – but it did make for a good post today!)  :-)

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 204 other followers

%d bloggers like this: