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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Did you ever have an argument with your spouse where you both insist that you are right.

 

But really, all the while, as you ping pong back and forth to make your case, you know that YOU are the one who is right?  And then, at the end of the debate, you both walk away feeling like you’ve “won”.

 

Well, to be honest, you probably didn’t win.  There are really no winners when you both think you’ve won… there are just delusions… because sometimes (heck, most times) one of you is actually wrong (GASP! – who ME?  Wrong?  NO WAY!!!)

 

But on occasion, you sometimes feel that you’ve made such a firm stance on your correctness, that you’ve swayed the other person just enough. so that they’ve teetered towards your side of right from their side of wrong.

 

And there you have it.  A stalemate of rightness.

 

As with most debates, the crux of the argument is oftentimes your perception of something, or your recollection of something, or perhaps even something you heard or saw.  Therefore, there’s virtually no way whatsoever to prove your “rightness”.  And, that’s where the debate ends.  You can’t settle the argument because you can’t go back in time to replay what someone may have or may not have said.  You can’t always agree on how you heard something or what someone was feeling.  BUT, on the rarest of occasions… you do in fact have proof that you are right.  And those days, well those days, are magical days.  The “I told you so” days that every relationship thrives on (or perhaps dies on – but let’s not go there today!).

 

Too many debates end without an actual end.  No closure.  And, I’m here to tell you, there’s no closure more sweet than the closure of proven correctness (insert evil laugh here - muahahahahaha)

 

And that folks is the story I’d like to tell today.  So… here it goes:

 

security lightWe have motion sensor security lights outside of our garage.  For a really long time one of the lights wasn’t working, I asked hubby about it and he told me that the bulb wasn’t making a proper connection.   So, the fixture sat there.. only ½ working for quite some time.

 

A couple of weeks ago when I arrived home after dark, I realized that the other light bulb was out.

 

So I say to hubby…. “Hon, I think we need to buy a new light bulb for outside”

He replies: “No. I told you, that light doesn’t work anymore.”

So I say: “Well, I know you mentioned that the one side wasn’t making a connection, but the other one is now out – so we should buy some new bulbs”

Visibly aggravated he says:  “No, the entire light is broken and hasn’t worked for quite some time”

And I say: “No….. one bulb has been out for as long as I can remember but the other side has been lighting up until today”

 

And the debate has begun.

 

Me:  “Hon, I’m absolutely positive that one light bulb has been working”

Hubby:  “No it hasn’t”

Me:  “Yes, it has”

Hubby:  “No, you’re wrong… that light hasn’t worked for weeks”

 

I feel the need to pause in this story to remind you (or to direct you to some old posts – just click on the following links) about hubby’s Selective Vision and his inability to notice basic things around him (HERE or HERE).  So, now that I’ve put that out there back to our debate.

 

Me:  “The left side of the light has been working.. I’m pretty sure we just need a new bulb”

Hubby:  “You are completely wrong.  The light’s broken.  It’s been broken for a while.  It hasn’t been lighting up at all.  We just need to buy a whole new light fixture”

Me: “Uhm… I know the one side has been broken… you told me about the problem months ago, but I’m still pretty sure the left side has been working.”

Hubby:  “Nope, you are wrong.”

 

I can see this is going nowhere.  We have hit a stalemate of correctness.  We’re both right, neither of us is budging, and that’s it.

 

So I say:  “Hmmppff… ok, I guess we need to buy a new light”  and then I walk away.  Now, this is that moment I spoke about above.  The walk away moment where I still know that I am right.

 

A day or 2 go by.  I go to the store.  I buy a new light fixture AND a new light bulb.  When I get home, I wait until it’s dark and I replace the left light bulb.   HELLLOOOOOOOOO…. Let There Be Light!    So, just for the hell of it (I’m on a roll now).   I decide to take that brand new light blub out of the left socket and I put it into the right socket (remember – the one that’s totally broken and has been for months).  And, lo and behold…… Let There Be Light!   Now I’m aggravated that I have to go back to the store because not only do I need to return the new fixture BUT I also didn’t have the foresight to buy 2 light bulbs.  So, a day and 2 new light bulbs later, I have a fully functioning light fixture outside.  Imagine that!!

 

What a "broken" light looks like  - Oh, WAIT, that's not broken!

What a “broken” light looks like – Oh, WAIT, that’s not broken!

I say nothing.   There’s no need for “I told you so’s”.  The illuminated driveway will speak for itself…. Or, so I think.

 

Now, I’ll refer you back to hubby’s inability to actually notice things around him.

It’s been 5 full days since I “fixed” the light.  7 full days since our original debate.  And, there’s been no mention from a certain someone about the ray of light that has magically appeared outside our garage.  So, maybe, just maybe, he hasn’t actually noticed it yet. Perhaps folks, you are now joining me in my “I told you so” moment because if he really hasn’t seen it, this blog is what’s going to give it away!

 

There are really no words necessary.. I know I was right.    Somebody else will eventually (at least after reading this blog!) know I was right.  And, we’re back to having light on our driveway.  Did everybody win…… well yes, in this particular debate, I do think so!

 

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The Snack Battle

Admin:

#TBT.. A glimpse back to Halloween of 2009. Too bad nothing has changed and I’m still wondering where all the Kit Kats went from the bag of Halloween candy I bought 2 weeks ago (and it’s only October 16th!)

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

Today is Halloween.  For normal people, Halloween is a time to celebrate the Fall season with tricks & treats and ghosts and goblins.

For me however, it’s a day to test my ingenuity.

 

Let me explain.

 

Hubby has a sweet tooth.  He has a weakness for certain candies & cookies.  Anytime I bring something into the house that I know he likes, I have to either:

  • Stash some away for me or….
  • Buy multiple boxes to ensure that I get a taste. 

I’m the kind of person that could make a box of cookies last weeks.  I may eat 2 today, then none for 3 days, then maybe 2 more, then none for a week.  The problem with this method of consumption is that by day number 5, when I go to the cabinet I cannot find the package of cookies…. because, while I’ve been savoring this snacking…

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Today, hubby and I celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary.  It’s certainly been a crazy ride.  I started this blog 3 days before our anniversary in 2009. (So, this is also my 5 year Blogiversary!)  I guess maybe,  it’s not a normal person who decides that an appropriate anniversary “gift” to their husband is a blog (open to the entire internet world) that shares all the things that are irritating, annoying, frustratingdang keyboard… I mean ENDEARING about living with him.

 

But, nobody ever said I was normal.   (Even my grandma - who is probably dancing somewhere in a far away place celebrating my anniversary – thought I was a little bit “not normal”)

 

So here we are 11 years into our marriage.  12+ years into our relationship.  And 5 years into a blog that many naysayers insisted would destroy the underlying fabric of our lives together.  To them, I say a big FAT phooey.

 

The only things that could destroy our marriage are crumbssoda cans, a distinct inability to clean properly and a lack of awareness of the laundry room.  And, thanks to this blog, rather than let these petty annoyances destroy our marriage I just share the stories with all of you and all of a sudden I feel better!  The blog is like therapy for me.  It lets me tell you all how insane our lives can be.  It lets you laugh along with us.  It lets you feel better about your marriage because you can either identify with us – OR – because you realize your spouse is awesome by comparison and you’re incredibly lucky to not be stuck eating flat cheese, worrying about which bowl to use for the ice cream, or having absurd conversations about pizza toppings with mine!

 

Like many marriages, ours works despite our differences.  Despite petty crap and despite the steam that can come out of my ears as I walk past a pile of hubby’s “stuff”, that’s been sitting in the family room for weeks, for like the bazillionth time.  Yes, those days are the days when I realize that I love him.  It make take me a while to get there – but eventually I do – and I realize that there’s nobody else’s underwear I want to step over. Nobody else’s toothpaste I want to wipe up.  And, nobody else’s quirks I want to write about.

 

Those are the days I realize what a great guy I have.  One who’s a great dad and truly a great partner.  Even if he just happens to annoy the ever-living-crap out of me sometimes.

 

There are many things that make each of us who we are.  These things could be described as; personality traits, idiosyncrasies, quirks.   For some, the words could be; weird, strange, eccentric, unique.    Regardless of the actual vocabulary you use to describe someone, think about this:  If every single one of us wasn’t just a little bit “weird”, in our own way, wouldn’t we all be exactly the same?  And isn’t some of that “uniqueness” exactly why you wound up with the person you are currently with?  So, every time your spouse reminds you of their uniqueness, it should also remind you of why you got together in first place.  And, on the days you want to kill each other… take a step back, think about the trait that’s bothering you and ask yourself……………. Is today the day I should I start a blog??

 

Happy Anniversary Hubby….. with many more to come!

choose again

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The Super Frosty Zone

Admin:

#TBT…. As always for throw back Thursday I share an older THD post. Since we’ve been a bit MIA lately (due to a vacation) I thought it was appropriate to share an old vacation story!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

So, I’m certain that most of you are aware that hubby is a little quirky.   It’s equally what makes me love him and roll my eyes at him at the very same time!

 

Sometimes the things that come out of his mouth are so comical that you sit there, anxiously awaiting his admission that he’s kidding.. but usually this never comes.   I mean honestly, who needs to eat their cheese flat or requires specific bowls for specific foods?  But, even after all these years, he continues to find new ways to surprise me with his oddities!

 

Another obviously nutty quirk weaseled it’s way to the surface while we were on vacation last week.

 

Let me set the scene for you.

 

We’re lounging in the sun by the pool at our resort.  We’re lathered with sunscreen.  We’re listening to the ocean and watching the boats go…

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HELP! I Can’t Find It!

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. If you have a husband who can’t EVER find ANYTHING. this one’s for you!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

A typical conversation in my house (you can insert any item you’d like into this conversation)

 

Hubby:  “I looked everywhere, it’s gone”

Me: “You looked everywhere….. hmmm??”

Hubby: “Yes, I just spent the last 10 minutes looking for it, and it’s not there”

Me: “Did you look in the closet?”

Hubby: “Yep”

Me: “Did you look in the cubby in the garage?”

Hubby: “Yes, I even picked up the stuff and checked behind it”

Me: “Are you sure you really looked?”

Hubby: “Yes, it’s gone”

Me: “So, if I were to get up right now and look in the closet, it wouldn’t be there”

Hubby: “No way… “

Me: “So, if I did happen to find it, how much will you give me?”

Hubby: “I’m not giving you anything… it’s not there”

Me: “Ok, $5.00 if I find it”

 

I stop whatever I’m doing, walk upstairs…

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Men Are Like Toasters

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. Hope you enjoy!!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

Last night hubby told me he was “multi-tasking”.  He was, and I quote…..”eating dinner & watching tv at the same time”.

 

We all know that women are far better at juggling many different tasks at once.  We’ll even at times, stop in the middle of one task, to quickly complete another as we’re walking by.

 

A very basic example…

 

If I’m brushing my teeth and notice that there’s a speck of something on the mirror, I’ll grab a towel and clean it off (all the while still brushing)

Hubby on the other hand (in this same scenario).. has actually PUT the speck of stuff on the mirror, while he was brushing his teeth.  But, “cleaning day” is Saturday so the speck will have to wait.

 

Men can really only focus on a singular task at hand.  And, even with their focus on one, and only

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Selective Vision

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. I still often wonder why hubby can’t see anything right in front of him……………… as always, just as relevant today as it was 5 years ago! ENJOY!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

Hubby has, what I like to call, Selective Vision.

 

No.. there’s not anything wrong with his eyesight. As a matter of fact, it could be argued that he has a highly trained eye.  Highly trained to only see that which is important to him.

 

Honestly, I’ve never really understood Selective Vision.

 

As a woman, we take in everything around us. Perhaps this is an innate trait given to us to be able to “have eyes in the back of our heads” for when we have children.  Or…. perhaps, it’s a trait developed over the years, and fine tuned to be able to compensate for male Selective Vision.

Either way, I’m always shocked at how truly oblivious hubby is.  If it doesn’t pertain to his immediate task, or if it’s not relevant to any activity of interest to him.. he truly does not see it. 

Last year…

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