Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

HELP! I Can’t Find It!

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. If you have a husband who can’t EVER find ANYTHING. this one’s for you!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

A typical conversation in my house (you can insert any item you’d like into this conversation)

 

Hubby:  “I looked everywhere, it’s gone”

Me: “You looked everywhere….. hmmm??”

Hubby: “Yes, I just spent the last 10 minutes looking for it, and it’s not there”

Me: “Did you look in the closet?”

Hubby: “Yep”

Me: “Did you look in the cubby in the garage?”

Hubby: “Yes, I even picked up the stuff and checked behind it”

Me: “Are you sure you really looked?”

Hubby: “Yes, it’s gone”

Me: “So, if I were to get up right now and look in the closet, it wouldn’t be there”

Hubby: “No way… “

Me: “So, if I did happen to find it, how much will you give me?”

Hubby: “I’m not giving you anything… it’s not there”

Me: “Ok, $5.00 if I find it”

 

I stop whatever I’m doing, walk upstairs…

View original 482 more words

Read Full Post »

Men Are Like Toasters

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. Hope you enjoy!!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

Last night hubby told me he was “multi-tasking”.  He was, and I quote…..”eating dinner & watching tv at the same time”.

 

We all know that women are far better at juggling many different tasks at once.  We’ll even at times, stop in the middle of one task, to quickly complete another as we’re walking by.

 

A very basic example…

 

If I’m brushing my teeth and notice that there’s a speck of something on the mirror, I’ll grab a towel and clean it off (all the while still brushing)

Hubby on the other hand (in this same scenario).. has actually PUT the speck of stuff on the mirror, while he was brushing his teeth.  But, “cleaning day” is Saturday so the speck will have to wait.

 

Men can really only focus on a singular task at hand.  And, even with their focus on one, and only

View original 327 more words

Read Full Post »

Selective Vision

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. I still often wonder why hubby can’t see anything right in front of him……………… as always, just as relevant today as it was 5 years ago! ENJOY!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

Hubby has, what I like to call, Selective Vision.

 

No.. there’s not anything wrong with his eyesight. As a matter of fact, it could be argued that he has a highly trained eye.  Highly trained to only see that which is important to him.

 

Honestly, I’ve never really understood Selective Vision.

 

As a woman, we take in everything around us. Perhaps this is an innate trait given to us to be able to “have eyes in the back of our heads” for when we have children.  Or…. perhaps, it’s a trait developed over the years, and fine tuned to be able to compensate for male Selective Vision.

Either way, I’m always shocked at how truly oblivious hubby is.  If it doesn’t pertain to his immediate task, or if it’s not relevant to any activity of interest to him.. he truly does not see it. 

Last year…

View original 553 more words

Read Full Post »

There is no single more recurring topic in this blog than laundry.

 

Since they say a picture is worth 1000 words… so today, I’m providing you with 4000 words.   Or, a pictorial glimpse into “My Life Through Laundry”

 

To start, you will see a basket filled with hubby’s clean & folded laundry from almost 2 weeks ago.  Behind this basket of laundry is an un-packed suitcase from a trip we took this past weekend,  filled with – yep, you guessed it…. dirty laundry.  And, oh yeah, beside the clean basket of clothes…… well, don’t ya know it…. more dirty laundry.

laundry basket

 

This is a snapshot of our bed (yes, it’s un-made – Don’t judge me!)… but, more importantly, it’s a shot of hubby’s jammies from last night – aka laundry.

bed laundry

 

This is a quick glimpse of hubby’s dresser.  It looks just as it always does… with a pile of folded & clean laundry on top.  (Laundry winds up here because some days, I actually need the basket  – you know, the one holding the clean laundry –  to go and carry more dirty laundry to be washed in the basement.  When I need the basket, I place the clean laundry on top of the bed… and then, it gets mysteriously moved here – to the TOP of the dresser.

dresser laundry

 

This is a view into our bathroom…. Or perhaps more accurately, more dirty laundry.  This laundry usually consists of what hubby wore yesterday.  It’s ever-present.  Perhaps not for more than 1 day – and hubby would have you believe that this laundry is, in fact, a gift to me.  In-so-much-as, if he comes to bed after me, he takes his clothes off in the bathroom so he won’t disturb me (there he is – my genuinely loving guy… always looking out for me).  Until of course you realize that Every-Day there’s the previous day’s outfit on the floor of the bathroom (and quite possibly – assorted other bonus items – do I see more jammies??!!)

 

bathroom laundry

 

I will also have you know that I literally just snapped these shots… each picture is not from a different day.  They are all from TODAY.  From 10 minutes ago.  I can take the same pictures tomorrow and then again on Friday.  This is my life.    The life I have chosen.   And…. You all wonder why I blog so much about laundry??

 

Share your best laundry pic over on our facebook page:  http://facebook.com/thehubbydiaries

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. In case you are wondering after you read this…. yes, hubby is still fantastic at only doing 1/2 of a chore!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

Hubby is not inherently lazy.  He’s not stupid.  He’s not incapable.  He’s not even intentionally absentminded (or at least I don’t think he is).   But he is, on many occasions, unable to complete full tasks.  And, since we are both intelligent, hardworking adults, I have to admit… this baffles the ever-living-crap out of me. 

Let me try to explain…..

  • He carries his empty soda can into the kitchen and places it on the counter ABOVE the trash can
  • He steps over his dirty clothes 50 times instead of bending down once to throw them in the laundry basket
  • He takes the sponge to clean the kitchen counters after dinner but he doesn’t wipe down the table where we ate.
  • He replaces the empty toothpaste but he doesn’t throw the old tube away.

It’s like he’s waiting for little fairies to appear overnight to magically complete everything he’s started OR.. perhaps….

View original 338 more words

Read Full Post »

Admin:

In honor of #TBT, I share an older post from THD history every Thursday. This one is a classic. And, as always, just as relevant today as it was 5 years ago! ENJOY!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

An actual quote from my lovely hubby:

 

“If I actually listened to everything you had to say, my head would explode” 

(How could you not love him!?)

I have to admit, I do think he’s onto something here.  No, I’m not allowing him to use this excuse as a way to justify his Selective ListeningBUT, there’s something to be said for women needing to receive or give tons of info and men needing/wanting very little.

A woman wants to know & share everything… all the little details, the before, during & after, the thoughts, reactions, emotions, and so on, and so on, and so on.

A man wants to know just enough information to move on to the next relevant topic (all other information is just white noise)

A conversation that I initiate with hubby…

Me:  “How was work today?”

Hubby: “Fine”

Me: “Anything good happen?”

View original 598 more words

Read Full Post »

You would think that after being married for almost 11 years – YIKES!  I would inherently know what to expect from hubby.   You’d think I could no longer be surprised by any of his quirks, or his actions.  You’d think that I could complete his sentences and just know what he’s going to want for dinner or how he’ll answer a question.  BUT, if you really believe that, you haven’t been reading the blog for very long.

 

Because the only constant in my life, is change.  When I’m POSITIVE hubby will only eat plain pizza, he orders sausage & peppers.  When I’m certain beyond any reasonable doubt that his favorite beer is Heineken…. today it’s not, it’s Arrogant Bastard (yes – this is really a beer.. and very aptly named for my hubby – HA!).  But tomorrow it could just as easily be DogFish Head… and next Tuesday it just may be some sort of Dead Guy Ale.  You see, hubby likes to be difficult, annoying… ok, he likes to keep our marriage spicy and fresh and new – he does this by constantly changing his mind and by constantly making me second guess everything I think I know about him.   Now, that’s love.  I’m sure he’s doing this for my benefit – so I get to re-discover him each and every day.  I get to fall in love with someone new all the time.  UGH!  Really, I just want to smack him upside the head and say… “you can’t be absurdly adamant about something one second and then pull a complete 180 in your opinion 2 days later!”  And he would ever-so-lovingly reply “why not?”

 

And so here I sit… always wondering what new thing I will learn about hubby today.  Maybe it truly is that men never grow up…. Because his behavior is not unlike that of my toddler.  He’s easily distracted. He can immediately forget what he just told me.  He’s difficult simply because he’s testing his limits.  He’s engrossed in something so completely for 10 minutes and then he’s moved on to something totally different.   I think I just discovered something.  I live with TWO 2 year olds (although, only one can annoy me with his beer choices!)

 

Sometimes, I write these blog posts and I find myself way off on a tangent… but I guess that’s what happens when you’re in love and you simultaneously want to smack your spouse upside the head.  You’re pulled in two opposing directions and reeling yourself back in when you’re ranting can be tough.  Today’s post was supposed to be about t-shirts… and geez… look where I am.  So, here’s my graceful transition to t-shirts….

 

It all has to do with that consistency thing again.  There is generally one thing that’s IS consistent.  Hubby has preferred clothes.  So, while he may have a full closet and many drawers full of options, he wears like the same 5 things… over and over and over and over.  He is imparting this lovely “style” to our son.  Any time I send hubby upstairs to grab an outfit for mini-hubby, he comes down with one of the same 2 shirts.  Every week, the same 2 shirts.  His response “well he likes these shirts”.  My response “YOU like these shirts… he’s 22 months old – he could sort of care less what shirt he has on…. unless you make an issue of it!”.   I suppose if I wait long enough, like almost every other “consistent”, one day I’ll wake up and hubby will have decided on a brand new “every-day” shirt for our son.  Or, one day I will wake up (this one is probably more likely) and our toddler, will indeed have his own opinion of shirts – and he will demand the same shirt every day.  Will this be learned behavior directly from his Dada OR will this be normal toddler behavior that will now be exhibited by BOTH of my children??

 

I can only imagine a day where mini-hubby and Hubby are now teenagers and they are both eating the same thing for lunch every day, drinking the exact same beverages, giving the exact same reason that cannot (or will not) do laundry, wearing the same shirt every day (still)… until that one magical day.  The day where they wake up and decide that the lunch-of-the-week has fallen out of favor only to be replaced with another “new” lunch that will get consumed for the next month straight.  OR,  at some point, will my toddler surpass my hubby and actually grow up into diversity?   If there’s anyone taking pity on me from out there in the universe… the latter will be my future.  Please, oh please, let this be my future!

 

Here my friends… is one of the 2 favorite shirts (and yes, my Super Men are mighty cute!)

Super Men

 

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 201 other followers

%d bloggers like this: