The Test Of Time…..

Ok.. so like every post I write lately, I will start with an apology for dropping off the face of the earth.   I’ve been traveling for work 2 weeks out of the last 3.  We’ve had to deal with a sick baby with a fever for days (and shockingly, I mean the real baby, not the hubby).  And, I also somehow need to fit in all the stuff that life throws at me.. all this, while maintaining the ever-so-late bedtime of about 9:00pm since our wonderful little bundle of joy is still filling our lives with “joyous” sleepless nights.  It’s hard to squeeze in blogging time in between a work day that ends at 7pm, the baby’s dinner, my dinner, bath time and the baby’s bedtime all before I collapse from exhaustion at 9:00.

 

Anyhoooooo…..

 

You may recall from past posts that sometimes, only sometimes, I do what some might refer to as nag.

 

I prefer to call it reminding…… over and over and over and over and over………….

 

You may also recall that hubby has a severe case of Selective Vision.  In that, he has the unique ability to not actually see what’s directly in front of him… in plain sight, day, after day, after day.

 

So, it might come as no surprise to you when I tell you that the below picture is a bag that’s sitting beside the dresser in our bedroom.   Now, at first glance you say “Eh, no biggie….. it’s obviously holding important items” or you may think “What’s the big deal… it’s a pretty tiny bag that’s barely noticeable”.  But, let me share a few facts about this bag:

• It’s literally right next to the door to the bedroom so you see it (or at least I see it) Every. Single. Time.  I go into the room.
• It’s also right outside the door to the bathroom…. So, if you were sitting on the toilet with the door open (not that we ever do this………) you would be staring straight at it
• It’s been sitting in this spot for approximately 2 ½ months
• Prior to sitting in it’s current spot, it was sitting in our living room for approximately 1 month  (and then I got SICK of looking at it all day long and moved it to it’s current – AND APPARENTLY FINAL – resting place in the bedroom)

 

Perhaps the most perplexing fact about this bag is it’s contents………….

 

Wanna guess what’s in it?

 

Wait for it….. it’s a good one……………..

 

The bag is filled with an assortment of hubby’s Christmas presents.   YES, you read that correctly……. It’s holding friggin Christmas presents.  And, just in case, you need clarification on this.  TODAY is April 17^th.  Christmas WAS December 25^th.

 

These are apparently items of little-to-no urgency… hubby is obviously saving them for a rainy day (literally….. a rainy day…. one of the items is a poncho for him to wear at Giants games during inclement weather).  Another item is actually remnants of the actual gift… you see, the bag is still holding a shoe box from a new pair of kicks he received.  He’s worn the new sneakers but, heck, why ever get rid of the box when you can leave it in a bag, in the bedroom…… F-O-R-E-V-E-R????????????????

 

These are likely gifts that require thinking about where they should live permanently…… and, if it’s not completely obvious about where an item should be put away…. Hubby’s solution is to NEVER put it away.   LUCKY ME!

 

So, I ask you this……. I have not nagged about this bag once…. Nope, not one single time.  I quietly moved it upstairs.  I silently walk past it every day.  I bite my lip as I move it around the room so the cleaning ladies can vacuum.  BUT, I have not nagged one time.   So… after almost 4 months, if I were to remind him about this bag…. (since it’s obviously a permanent fixture in our room and he no longer sees it) would it in fact be nagging?????????????????

 

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“Multi-Purpose” Spaces?

Did you ever wonder how one area of your home slowly gets taken over by so much stuff that it eventually assumes the responsibility for the new stuff more than the old stuff?

 

And then one day, you realize that you don’t know what has happened to your house.  And you wonder how your sewing room became the exercise room, or your exercise room became the laundry/ironing room.  Or perhaps you had a great den where you used to snuggle up and watch movies and now it’s become the kid’s playroom and is constantly littered with toys.  I’m sure many of you can relate.  And, you probably think that this post is about to outline all the ways our house has been overcome by baby crap (which it has) or that my family room no longer resembles an adult space (which it doesn’t) or that my office has become the staging area for baby baths… and the permanent home of a bath tub (why wouldn’t you keep a bath tub in your office??).  Anyhow, this post is about none of those things.  And, it’s NOT about how the baby has impacted our space.  It’s all about how hubby likes to “re-locate” items to places where they don’t belong and leave them there so long that they adopt the new-found space as their permanent (inappropriate) home.

 

You may recall THIS POST where I first started talking about this phenomenon and how it impacts every-day life and the relocation of items around my kitchen .. over .. and over… and over… and over…  That post is worth a read if for no other reason than to commiserate, if you find yourself constantly wishing that items would be Put Away at your home.

 

Well, be careful what you wish for… because sometimes, Put Away, doesn’t necessarily solve the problem.

 

I present to you Exhibit A:

This is one of our closets.  In all honesty, it would probably be defined a “catch all” closet.  Hubby keeps some suits in here.  I keep extra purses, some hats, some of our travel items and other misc stuff.   It’s a closet filled with things we don’t really use regularly……………………including, apparently, a good deal of our “regular-use” tools.

 

Hmmmmm, you may be thinking……  Screwdrivers and drills in your suit closet……. Interesting use of space.

Ahhhhhhh, you may say…… easy access tools upstairs for quick repairs……. Smart storage.

Oooohhh, you may utter…. That’s a mighty nice vest hubby has…… He’s quite stylish.

Yikes, you may be judging…. They REALLY need some professional closest storage help…. That’s quite a disaster.

 

And to pretty much all of these…. I would say you are correct…………… well, sort of.

 

Until you think deeper about it.  And realize.. we have a full basement at our house.  We have a 2 car garage at the house.  Read this as:  MANY other, BETTER, permanent home locations for all the tools.  But alas, they are living happily in my upstairs closet.  I suppose there’s a part of me that’s happy they are not sitting in the hallway (which is likely where they started) … They were probably relocated to the closet when I forced hubby to pre-clean for the cleaning ladies, or maybe when we were having house guests, or quite possibly after I tripped over them with the baby so many times that I BEGGED him to move them out of a regular walking path.  To be totally honest, I don’t actually remember how they wound up in this closet…. Because it’s been THAT LONG that they’ve been living there.

 

Out of sight, out of mind for hubby…. So I’m pretty sure these items could stay in this closet until the baby leaves for college or until hubby needs his drill for something.  At which time, he will undoubtedly scour the house for tools that he cannot locate only to declare that he’s “looked everywhere” and they must be “gone” and he now needs to go buy everything new.   And, then of course, as we wives always do… I will ask him to re-confirm that he has indeed looked “everywhere” and then I will promptly go to this closet, pull them all out and remind him that the reason he cannot find anything, EVER, is because he never puts things back in their proper place…………   and the cycle will continues, as it always does………….

 

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My Loving Enabler

Hello my name is The Wife…. And I have a coat addiction.

 

There I said it.  Out loud.  (of course “out loud” is to no one other than the baby  – who is currently sleeping, probably didn’t hear me, and likely wouldn’t care if he did).  But, they say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step…. Right?   Ok, it’s not so much a problem if it doesn’t hurt anyone…. Right??

 

I have been addicted to coats for about 20 or so years.  It probably started right after I got my first job out of college, since this was probably the first time I had enough money to actually go out and feed this addiction.  Coincidentally, this was likely also the time when I started to have enough places to go in order to actually have a need to wear multiple coats.

 

As of this exact moment, I have 35 in total (and, yes I actually did just go and count them – which was sort of eye-opening in and of itself).  Some women have shoe addictions (ok, I have that too… but that’s a post for a different day) but most of my attention is put towards outer wear.  I simply cannot resist a new, fashionable jacket that has a unique cut, or color that might, some day, look cute with a certain outfit (that I don’t even own yet……)  My addiction has grown well beyond the “coat closet” in our foyer.  It’s also taken over almost an entire closet in the spare bedroom, and necessitates a seasonally appropriate swap to ensure that coats downstairs are the right weight for the current weather. 

 

There are a few problems with this.

 

1)      My addiction has oozed over into hubby’s attire.  Now, you may be scratching your head wondering what the heck this means.   Well, my inability to pass up a fashionable, on-sale jacket may have trickled over into buying coats for hubby.  To date hubby has 14 coats….. yes, probably overkill for a guy. But, I can assure you, he looks mighty dapper (dapper –what a fun word, and not easily worked into conversation…..)  in each and every one of them!  If you were to add his coats to my coats, we could probably keep our entire block warm during the winter…. Which brings me to the 2^nd problem………..

2)      The sheer # of coats might, just possibly, impact hubby’s ability to put away his coats.  You should probably read THIS POST about the # of coats that are NOT in our coat closet, in order to understand my dilemma.    Could I have created my own challenge here….. NO!! I’m not willing to accept any responsibility…. So, we’ll just move onto the next problem.

3)      Hubby seems to need his own intervention.   You’d think that hubby, who doesn’t necessarily understand my affinity towards outerwear.  Who doesn’t really “get” the need for himself to have 14 coats.  Who needs reminding that he has a different coat that might look better with an outfit.  Who complains that I have too many coats.  Who can’t cram his own coats into the coat closet because I have too much in there (WAIT – I just remembered, I’m not taking responsibility for this…..).  Anyhow, you’d think that he, of all people, would not feed into my addiction…… but you’d be WRONG!

 

With any good addiction, the person suffering from the problem is usually surrounded by some great enablers.  So, I’d like to share with you some evidence.

 

This, my dear blog readers, is a picture of one of my Christmas presents from this year, FROM HUBBY:

 

 This, my dear blog readers, is a picture of one of my Christmas presents from 2 years ago, FROM HUBBY: 

 

 

Yes, they are DAMN CUTE coats.  Yes, I will happily wear them.  Yes, I can already envision the cute outfits that will coordinate with my most recent gift.  Yes, I will find-a-way to squeeze it into an already overflowing closet.  Yes, I LOVE my gift… but heck, I ask you this?????  Who has exactly has the problem here??  Me, or hubby who, if he continues to buy me cute coats, will probably have to start moving his entire wardrobe into the shed in the backyard just so I have a place to put everything???!  

 

And.. in honor of the “Why I Love My Husband” link up party at  The Happy Wives Club….  (my list started HERE in case you missed it)

 

Reason # 11 why I love my hubby is….. he buys me stuff that I absolutely do not need, but that he knows I will enjoy!

Reason #12  is…. he really is a good gift buyer (which is a huge complaint of most women) but my hubby has always been really, really good at this as noted here & here!

 

 

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Ok Daddy…. Let’s Get A Move On…..

You might think that the threat of a new baby rapidly approaching would keenly re-prioritize for my hubby.   But alas, if you’ve been reading for any length of time, you probably know that nothing is on hubby’s radar that’s not important (read that as electronics – and apparently baby monitors and breast pumps don’t count!)

 

So, it’s probably no surprise that the new furniture we purchased for the baby’s room has been sitting, in boxes, in my living room for probably over 6 weeks.  It causes me anxiety Every. Single. Time. I walk past it.  My OCD (see hubby, I can admit I have a bit of OCD) screams at me when stuff is not where it belongs… it’s why hubby’s empty soda cans, invisible boxes, and crap on the stairs drive me bonkers!

 

Every day, when I come home I politely remind hubby of his timeline…

 

“Hon, a little over 3 months left”

“Hon, less than 3 months left”

“Hon, only 2 months left…”

 

And every day, hubby employs selective listening to tune me out and his selective vision kicks into high gear as he uses all his special powers to pretend he doesn’t seen the boxes… which equal 5 in total.  One is approximately 4 ft tall and another is probably 5 ft long.  (UHM, I don’t know, kind of hard to ignore – but I guess that’s just me……….)

 

His logic has been that we need to remove all the stuff from what will become the baby’s room, before he can move the boxes.

 

Problem #1:  This is HIS job…. I cannot carry the boxes, nor can I remove the existing furniture.

 

He also wants to paint the room before we put the new furniture in (makes sense but……………..)

 

Problem #2:  This is HIS job…. I cannot paint in my current state.

 

So, under normal circumstances, where I could easily become exasperated and do the work myself, I cannot do anything myself.   So, I’m at his mercy, and on his timeline, if I want to have this done.   UGH!

 

******* UPDATE *******

 

I wrote much of this post last week…. And didn’t have time to get it uploaded until today because my hard drive crashed (back up your stuff people – don’t be me and lose everything!!).   And, here’s a crazy news flash.   I expected to be able to take pictures of the HUGE boxes to illustrate the absurdity of my life but HOLY CRAP, they are gone.   It’s like I put it out into the blogosphere and magical things happened.  They actually made their way to the baby’s room.   The crib is assembled and everything is where it belongs……………HOORAY!

 

Here’s the catch.

 

Now that all the furniture is in the baby’s room, hubby is now questioning the need to paint the room….. “I kinda like the color it is right now”  he says.  Which he quickly follows up with  “But, if you still want it painted, I’ll be happy to do it”.  What sort of ploy is this???   Another 6 week delay and the baby will likely be in the room…. And then, no painting can occur… very sly hubby, very sly…………………..

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It’s Just Not On My Radar!

I generally consider myself to be a smart woman.  And, for this reason it’s particularly difficult to accept the fact that I will never be able to figure out my hubby.

 

The things that hit his radar seem to hold no particular importance in the universe and conversely, the things that never hit his radar, in my mind, are actually important.

  

 

Take for instance toilet paper.  Pretty important….. No?  Well, only slightly important to hubby.  Meaning we’ve been running so low on TP this week that, every day, I’ve brought up the fact that we really need to make a trip to Costco.  This wasn’t a declaration that I was going to go shopping, but rather a request that someone go shopping.  But alas, the replenishment of household items seems to rest squarely on my responsibility list.

 

 

I’m not exactly sure what hubby would have done had we actually run out of TP.  I shudder to think about what alternate product might be substituted, but thankfully we headed off this tragedy as I forced an errand trip one evening this week…. The solution: we both went to Costco!

 

 

While in the car, I decide to ask a few questions to really try understand my hubby.

 

 

It starts something like this:

 

 

Me:  ”I think there are a few other things we might need.  I know we’re running really low on shampoo and conditioner…. Anything else you can think of that we might need?”

Hubby: “Hmmmmm…. I’m not really sure”

Me: “You do realize that you use all the same products I do every day.  You never pay attention to see if we’re running low?”

Hubby: “I guess not”

Me: ”I don’t understand how you could pick up the shampoo or toothpaste every-single-day and never notice that we need to buy more??”

Hubby:  ”I just don’t.” He states so matter of factly.

Me: “Dare I even ask what you’d do if we ran out of shampoo?” although I already know the answer

Hubby: “I’d figure it out”

Me: “You’d wash your hair with soap wouldn’t you?!”

Hubby: “Probably…… Honey, I’m a guy.”. As if that explains everything.  ”Stuff like that just never hits my radar”

Me: “What exactly does hit your radar?”

Hubby: “Well, important stuff……..”

Me: ”Just so I’m clear…… Washing your hair and wiping your butt are not necessarily important??”

Hubby: “I guess not in the way they are important to you…..”

 

 

And there ya have it folks.  No matter how hard I try, I will just never understand!!

 

 

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It’s Bedtime Already?

Sorry I’ve disappeared… my job is squeezing every last drop of my time and energy now that they know they only have me for 4 more months before my maternity leave!

 

I’ve come to realize that there’s an odd parallel between men & children when it comes to bed time.  Now, I don’t have children (yet) but I do know that they always want to “stay up later”….. “just 5 more minutes……”

 

And, oddly enough, my hubby seems to share this inability to admit he should be in bed.

 

A typical evening at our home consists of some unwinding time in front of tv prior to bed.  Eventually I’m tired and declare I’ll be retiring for the evening.  Then, like playing a broken record, I’ll ask hubby “Are you coming up?”.   To which he always replies, “No, I’m gonna stay up a bit”.

 

Now this “staying up a bit” could be just after he’s:

 

• declared how tired he, himself, is.
• fallen asleep 2-3 times during the last hour while holding on to the remote
• announced that tv programming sucks, and there’s nothing to watch

 

But alas, none of the declarations are reason enough to put himself to bed.

 

So, I find myself negotiating like I would with a five year old.

 

“Honey, you do realize that you’re pretty much sleeping here on the couch?”

 

“Honey, you’ve been complaining all day that you didn’t get much sleep last night, so why would you want to force yourself to stay up?”

 

“Honey, I could understand wanting to say up if you were in the middle of a great movie, but you are flipping through the channels deciding between Duck Dynasty and American Pickers… I bet nothing earth-shattering is going to happen that you need to know about”

 

And lastly…..

 

“Honey, I promise you will not miss anything by coming to bed now.”

 

And, there are generally one of 2 replies from him. He either says… “I’m just gonna flip around and see if there’s anything to watch”  — This makes no sense to me since he’s admittedly tired BUT there may just be something on some obscure channel that would keep him awake.  Or, he says “But it’s only __’o clock”  (and you can fill in just about any time whatsoever into the “__” time slot”).  It’s as if the clock dictates his bedtime not his level of exhaustion.  If it’s “only” 10:00, it’s too early to go to bed.   If it’s “only” 11:00, it’s too early to go to bed.  I’m not sure where he gathered the impression that he’s less of man if he can’t force himself to stay up past a certain time just so he can say he didn’t go to bed early.

 

This is not my hubby… but it might as well be!

Nope, I just don’t get it.    If I’m tired, I go to sleep.  If he’s tired he goes to sleep only if it’s past a certain time or he’s exhausted all possible options of crap tv. And, even after all that, sometimes he falls asleep on the couch…. thus, taking away the required decision to Go To Bed…. somehow, I feel like he thinks he’s won by not going to bed.  What exactly he’s the winner of is debatable.  In my world it’s probably along the lines of some sort of Moron Award, although I’m sure in the World of Men, this might just be some great honor that I’m unaware of!

 

 

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