My Loving Enabler

Hello my name is The Wife…. And I have a coat addiction.

 

There I said it.  Out loud.  (of course “out loud” is to no one other than the baby  – who is currently sleeping, probably didn’t hear me, and likely wouldn’t care if he did).  But, they say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step…. Right?   Ok, it’s not so much a problem if it doesn’t hurt anyone…. Right??

 

I have been addicted to coats for about 20 or so years.  It probably started right after I got my first job out of college, since this was probably the first time I had enough money to actually go out and feed this addiction.  Coincidentally, this was likely also the time when I started to have enough places to go in order to actually have a need to wear multiple coats.

 

As of this exact moment, I have 35 in total (and, yes I actually did just go and count them – which was sort of eye-opening in and of itself).  Some women have shoe addictions (ok, I have that too… but that’s a post for a different day) but most of my attention is put towards outer wear.  I simply cannot resist a new, fashionable jacket that has a unique cut, or color that might, some day, look cute with a certain outfit (that I don’t even own yet……)  My addiction has grown well beyond the “coat closet” in our foyer.  It’s also taken over almost an entire closet in the spare bedroom, and necessitates a seasonally appropriate swap to ensure that coats downstairs are the right weight for the current weather. 

 

There are a few problems with this.

 

1)      My addiction has oozed over into hubby’s attire.  Now, you may be scratching your head wondering what the heck this means.   Well, my inability to pass up a fashionable, on-sale jacket may have trickled over into buying coats for hubby.  To date hubby has 14 coats….. yes, probably overkill for a guy. But, I can assure you, he looks mighty dapper (dapper –what a fun word, and not easily worked into conversation…..)  in each and every one of them!  If you were to add his coats to my coats, we could probably keep our entire block warm during the winter…. Which brings me to the 2^nd problem………..

2)      The sheer # of coats might, just possibly, impact hubby’s ability to put away his coats.  You should probably read THIS POST about the # of coats that are NOT in our coat closet, in order to understand my dilemma.    Could I have created my own challenge here….. NO!! I’m not willing to accept any responsibility…. So, we’ll just move onto the next problem.

3)      Hubby seems to need his own intervention.   You’d think that hubby, who doesn’t necessarily understand my affinity towards outerwear.  Who doesn’t really “get” the need for himself to have 14 coats.  Who needs reminding that he has a different coat that might look better with an outfit.  Who complains that I have too many coats.  Who can’t cram his own coats into the coat closet because I have too much in there (WAIT – I just remembered, I’m not taking responsibility for this…..).  Anyhow, you’d think that he, of all people, would not feed into my addiction…… but you’d be WRONG!

 

With any good addiction, the person suffering from the problem is usually surrounded by some great enablers.  So, I’d like to share with you some evidence.

 

This, my dear blog readers, is a picture of one of my Christmas presents from this year, FROM HUBBY:

 

 This, my dear blog readers, is a picture of one of my Christmas presents from 2 years ago, FROM HUBBY: 

 

 

Yes, they are DAMN CUTE coats.  Yes, I will happily wear them.  Yes, I can already envision the cute outfits that will coordinate with my most recent gift.  Yes, I will find-a-way to squeeze it into an already overflowing closet.  Yes, I LOVE my gift… but heck, I ask you this?????  Who has exactly has the problem here??  Me, or hubby who, if he continues to buy me cute coats, will probably have to start moving his entire wardrobe into the shed in the backyard just so I have a place to put everything???!  

 

And.. in honor of the “Why I Love My Husband” link up party at  The Happy Wives Club….  (my list started HERE in case you missed it)

 

Reason # 11 why I love my hubby is….. he buys me stuff that I absolutely do not need, but that he knows I will enjoy!

Reason #12  is…. he really is a good gift buyer (which is a huge complaint of most women) but my hubby has always been really, really good at this as noted here & here!

 

 

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Why I Love My Hubby – THD Style!

In honor of a blog link up being hosted this week at The Happy Wives Club (which is all about why we love our husbands) I’m re-posting a list that I originally put on the blog after my 1 year blogiversary.   It’s funny sometimes to go back and read old posts because it very clearly shows me that with time…. nothing really changes……   LOL!  (I’ve been blogging here at THD for over 3 years now, and hubby provides me with just as much material today *perhaps more with the addition of his mini-me* as he ever did 3 years ago).

 

So, without further ado….

 

I’ve decided to note all the reasons I love my dear hubby (read as: put up with all his annoying behaviors). Because let’s be honest, if hubby didn’t have at least some redeeming qualities I would have run screaming from the house a little over 9 years ago!    This list is slightly modified from it’s original form (with some “modern day” updates!)

 

And, in true Hubby Diaries fashion… I will of course put my own spin on the reasons hubby is so awesome! So, here we go….

 

10 Reasons I Love My Hubby

 

10. I only catch him rolling his eyes at me occasionally (and this is usually when I’m singing commercial jingles or 70s songs while we’re in public)

9. He actually does know where the laundry room is when it REALLY counts…  (just wish it hadn’t taken 9 years to know this little tid bit…..)

8. He tries to keep our bedroom clean (this is of course by filling his closet & drawers with trash & crap – and, I suppose this would actually be “clean” if I never opened any of these secret hiding places)

7. He helps me practice my linguistic skills by making me repeat myself over and over and over and over………

6. Sometimes he empties the dishwasher

5. He ALWAYS leaves at least one, solitary, lonely, cookie in the box (although I’m still not sure if this is because he’s thinking of me OR because he doesn’t want to have to be the one to throw away the box)

4. He has a firm understanding of the definition of an “insane amount of poop” and yet, he will still change a diaper!

3. His food quirks provide me with endless hours of entertainment

2. He ensures that our house is always filled with the biggest, best & newest technology (No, hubby… this does not mean it’s time for a new TV!)

 

And the #1 reason why I love my hubby…..

 

1.  He puts up with the fact that I blog about every silly little thing that he does!!

 

(and, after over 3 years of blogging… he still provides me with more material than I know what to do with!!!)

 

If you’d like to visit the blog link up to find other “Why I Love My Husband” lists please visit The Happy Wives Club by clicking the image below

 

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Maybe You Should Get Your Ears Checked (or maybe I should smack you upside the head….)

As we approach the 4 month mark of having a little one in our lives… I have learned quite a few things.

 

• I have learned that when you think he’s done pooping… he might actually not be done at all
• I have learned you will go many places and interact with many people, with spit up all over your clothes…. and you’ll be quite smelly but you won’t care
• I have learned that the amount of laundry you need to do can, in fact, rival the amount of linens cleaned at a 500 room hotel
• I have also learned that you can indeed function with virtually no sleep and that the # of times you can put a pacifier back in a mouth borders on 962 times in one night.

 

But, perhaps the biggest learning of them all can best be outlined by a Top 10 list.  So, here goes…………

 

The Top 10 Things a Man Will Hear (while he’s asleep) BEFORE He Hears A Baby Crying:

 

10.   A car alarm 6 blocks over, in the middle of hurricane force winds, through double paned windows.

9.    The “splitz” sound made by a can of beer opening at the neighbor’s house, during a party with a live band

8.    The low hum of a sub-woofer turned on in the basement man cave when he’s 3 floors above it

7.    A bad call made by a referee at a football game, 60 miles away

6.    The rumble of a motorcycle 6 towns over

5.    The *bleep bleep* of a text message, from the pocket of a coat that’s in the closet

4.    The crinkle of a package of Oreo’s opening

3.    The bubbling of cheese on a hot, fresh pizza

2.    The zipper of a woman’s pants coming off

 

And, the #1 thing a man can hear, while sleeping….  The sales clerk changing the shelf price of a 72” tv at the local Best Buy to be “on sale”

 

What does this all mean??  It simply means that unless I kick hubby in the middle of the night while I’m holding the screaming baby up against the side of his head… he will not hear him (or so he says…..)

 

And, just to prove a point, I googled this phenomenon.  And, found THIS article.  And holy crap, it actually justified all of the above (DANG IT!) And, since you know how things go in my house, it’s probably no surprise that hubby likes to refer me back to this article anytime I start to complain……………

 

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Who The Heck Are You?

Well,  as you may have noticed, I’m not doing all that well managing my life AND my new baby.  This blog was like a distant memory of my past life, beckoning to me from a land far, far away.   I’ve missed you dear blog readers and now that I am getting the tiniest bit of sleep, I’m going to try to get back into the swing of things…..  Good Golly, it’s been 7 weeks!

 

Anywho… it’s been an insane 7 weeks that included 3 trips back to the hospital with our little one…. Very emotionally grueling but I won’t bore you with these details.

 

Today instead,  I’d like to introduce you to someone new in my life……….NO, it’s not my new little bundle of joy like you might expect, it’s a larger version of my baby.  Someone who many of you have come to know and love.  Someone who I share stories about, who makes us laugh, roll our eyes, and oftentimes, makes us wonder what the heck is wrong with an entire species (MEN!).

 

Yes….this person is my hubby.

 

And, I no longer know who the heck he is.  You see, during these past weeks I have a learned a few things:

 

1. Hubby does indeed know where the laundry room is.  As evidenced by the multiple loads of laundry he’s done to help me out (YES!  I did say MULTIPLE!)  AND…. He’s folded said laundry too!
2. He can, in fact, pick up after himself
3. Hubby does actually know how to empty AND load the dishwasher!
4. Hubby even knows how to fold washed bedding/sheets (well, minus the fitted sheet – but this is still mind-blowing!)
5. He can even do some low-grade cleaning!!

 

Heck, hubby has stepped up in so many ways since the baby arrived I couldn’t begin to write them all out into a list.  Normally I write about how silly he can be (he still is).  Or, how annoying he can be (he still is).  Or, how frustrated I can be with him.  BUT, he’s honestly become a different person to help out while I recovered from the physical and emotional toll the pregnancy and new baby have taken on me.

 

Now, you’d think I’d be over the moon that he’s been so great, and while at the surface, this is definitely the case.  I ask you one simple question….. where the heck has this guy been for the last nine years?!

 

In addition to learning that hubby can indeed do all these things I think I learned a far greater lesson:  Apparently I don’t know hubby at all…..

Or perhaps he’s just mastered the art of “training” me to not expect too much from him (sly guy that he is!)  Well, guess what hubby….. I’m onto you now!

 

Either that, or I maybe I should have had a baby 9 years ago!!  (ahhhhh……hindsight…………..)

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Having A Baby Is Like Buying A New TV

It’s no secret that men, in general, don’t jump to do household projects.  This is especially true when these projects are assembled into a nice “To Do” list by the woman in their lives.  The only projects that they might approach with a tad more enthusiasm are things that directly impact them and are deemed FUN.   As I’ve mentioned before, these projects would likely involve a beloved hobby, or some sort of electronics.   I mean heck, there’s no way a new TV would make it’s way into the house and sit in the box, unopened and uninstalled, for weeks.   BUT, a new piece of furniture that requires assembly could be tucked in a corner awaiting that special furniture assembly day  2-3 weeks (and approximately 6 nagging statements from the wife) in the future!

 

It’s also a proven fact that men intentionally do projects wrong so that we will never ask them to do the project again.  But, I’m onto this strategy and it simply does not fly in our house….. sorry hubby!

 

Now, knowing all of this…. Imagine my surprise when hubby exhibited “out of character” behavior.

 

We’ve been receiving assorted new baby gifts in the mail over the last couple of weeks.

 

One day, our travel system stroller arrived.  It requires assembly.   And, moments after hubby sees it’s arrived, he’s tearing into the box to it see it.   And, I thought it would end there, but NO…. he’s pulling out pieces and looking for instructions – WHO IS THIS GUY?  The next thing I know, the stroller is assembled.

 

Then another day, our mobile arrives….. and hubby’s giddy with excitement as he pulls out the pieces and immediately starts putting it together.  Within 10 minutes, he’s in our nursery attaching it to the crib!  WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO HIM????

 

And then, earlier this week our nursery decals arrive (we’ve been waiting for these for weeks and they are the last piece of having a complete nursery for the arrival of our new little one).  I arrived home from work shortly after hubby and as I pulled in the driveway, I could see the light on in the nursery.   I walked inside and it looked as if hubby walked in, dumped everything on the kitchen counter, and immediately disappeared.  I can see mail strewn about, his work bag dropped on the floor, and it’s obvious everything was hastily abandoned in the midst of his excitement over the mail.  So, I walk upstairs and hubby is unrolling decals and laying them out on the floor.  He dropped EVERYTHING, to do this right away.   HOLY CRAP – HE REALLY CAN DO PROJECTS RIGHT AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

So, my dear blog readers I can only come to one conclusion:   Having a new baby is like buying a new TV.  Which I suppose is a really good thing, since hubby’s obviously incredibly excited about it and (without any nagging) quickly doing projects…… it’s truly a MIRACLE!   BUT, here’s my concern.   By hubby’s assessment we seem to need a new TV every few years…. And, I’m just not sure this is gonna work out if we need to get a new baby with the same frequency!!!!!

 

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Pregnancy Brain….. For Men?!

I’ll admit that I have a bit of “pregnant brain”.  It sort of brings me back to the “mush brain” I was experiencing while I was unemployed.  Sometimes I don’t make sense, my memory is somewhat lacking and there are days, where you might just call me stupid (ok, maybe  it’s more that I do stupid things than I’m actually stupid – but, I’m sure that’s debatable)

 

BUT my question today is…….. What would explain the “pregnant brain” that hubby is currently exhibiting?

 

We all know he is generally oblivious to stuff around him.  We also know that he has expertly honed his ability to employ Selective Vision.  So, I’m not sure why I’m surprised when he’s clueless about things right in plain sight.

 

A few months back (yes, I did say months), we had some trouble with our air conditioning.  So, we promptly grabbed a fan from the basement and set it up in our bedroom to help keep us cool while we slept and waited for the AC repair guy.    I think our AC was fixed in about 3 days (HOORAY!).  And there sat the fan.   Days passed, weeks passed, and then finally months passed…. AND…… there sat the fan.

 

Now, practically every day, I noticed the fan.  I mean, heck, it’s kind of big and it’s smack there in our bedroom.   I moved it to get into my closet.  I tried to ignore it as the cleaning ladies cleaned around it.  And, I waited.  And waited.  And waited.   As you know, if you’ve been reading regularly, I’m pregnant.  And, I didn’t want to attempt to carry this fan all the way back down into the basement on my own.  So….. I  w-a-i-t-e-d.  Not saying a word, just wondering when, if ever, it would hit hubby’s radar.

 

Then one day, being a woman, I just had to say something.

 

“Honey, do you think you can move that fan into the basement at some point?”

 

And, as if the baby had sucked away all his brain cells, he innocently looks at me and says…….  “What fan?”

 

And folks, I’m flabbergasted.  It’s big, it’s OBVIOUS, and it’s on hubby’s side of the bed.  And yet, he has no idea what I’m talking about.  It’s been there so long, that it’s now a part of our bedroom.

 

I honestly think it could have possibly stayed there…….. FOREVER.

 

And, just to paint a better picture for you….. I just had to catch a snapshot of proof.   Please tell me how you could miss this??

 

 

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