I hate washing dishes…..
Not nearly as much as I hate washing floors, but I do harbor a pretty strong distaste for this particular chore. And we do have a dishwasher, so it’s not like there are a ton of dishes that need hand washing but, in my opinion, even 1 pan or 1 Tupperware container is too much. Thankfully most items make their way to the dishwasher (thank god we have one of these or I might be using disposable pot & pans) But regardless this is a task that I despise…………….
Now, if they’d only make an automatic floor mopping device, we’d be in good shape…. But, I digress…………….
Anyhow, this particular chore aversion has always been lessened by the fact that hubby doesn’t mind doing this chore. Now don’t misunderstand, he doesn’t like it, but he does like playing with water (like any child) and he does like to eat – and he DOESN’T like to cook – so, the natural progression was for him to take on the bulk of hand washing dishes, when necessary. And, they lived happily ever after.
The baby arrived.
As you may know, babies are messy. There’s more laundry than I ever imagined could come from the addition of one tiny human. And consequently, there’s a heck of a lot more dirty items in general. One item in particular is bottles. It’s amazing how quickly they multiply in our sink, and if you blink too quickly, you may have 6 bottles at the end of the day…. And there they sit; all beckoning, and taunting, and giggling amongst themselves at all they work they have in store for you.
You see, like any clueless new parents, we wound up with bottles that have like 426 different tiny pieces that all must be assembled, in puzzle like fashion, to come together to prevent excess gas intake, or maybe it’s to improve baby IQ, or perhaps solve global warming. Ok, I’m not really sure why there are so many dang pieces. But what I AM sure of, is that cleaning these mother f’ers is a royal pain in my posterior region (and just for the record, these are Dr. Brown’s bottles -and they DO work, even though I’d pay millions of dollars for a full-time bottle washer). Each tiny, individual, piece must be disassembled, washed, brushed, poked, scrubbed and violated in a way that only long tubular bottle pieces can, to ensure they are clean for our little one. And, my friends, these puppies can’t go in the dishwasher. I mean, sure, they can in fact go in the dishwasher but…. once you take them out of the dishwasher, you have to put them back into the sink to clean them. Cause, with all the contraptions they sell to help make bottles dishwasher-cleanable… the only thing that really works is a bit of elbow grease, some pruny hands and about 4 hours in front of the sink. Not to mention the day when I tried to wash them in the dishwasher and the bottles all came out with a nice orange-y, reddish hue. Thank you Mr. Marinara sauce.
So, this brings me to the “meat” of my blog post. What you just read was really just the back story. And, you were wondering up to this point….. why the heck is she talking so much about baby bottles???? So, stay with me people.
As I mentioned earlier, hubby is our in-house dishwasher. That is of course until the baby arrived – since bottle washing is so daunting – I’ve had to suck it up and wash bottles……… which, in case you were wondering, I still despise! And, in case you missed it, I will remind you again… washing bottles SUCKS and takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r. So hubby, in his infinite wisdom, says to me. “Do ya think you could buy us a kitchen mat to stand on while we wash dishes for 6 hours a day?” And being the loving wife I am, I respond “Why yes hubby, I certainly can”. And then off I went to help give us comfy place to stand in front of the sink. And, if I do say so myself, I found a rockin’ kitchen mat – if you can, in fact, use that sort of terminology to describe a kitchen mat.
This mat is cushy, cozy, comfy and maybe even kick-ass (I was going for another “c” word there – but I ran out of adjectives). You see, the mat is made of memory foam, and when you stand on it, your feet just melt into it and are nicely cushioned to provide some otherwise not-so-present-comforts, for your tiny toes, while you stand in front of the sink and work your way through your 300th bottle part. So, this mat sat in place for a day or so before hubby assumed the position to tackle the day’s chore. And, when he stepped on to the mat, his toes began singing, his lower back started smiling and his mouth started saying….. “holy crap, this is the best thing I’ve ever stood on!!” And then, in true hubby fashion, he needed to expound on his statement with some of the following:
“My feet have never been so happy”
“Why don’t they make shoes out of this material?”
“Every floor, everywhere, should be made of this stuff!”
“This is seriously the best thing I’ve ever felt on my feet!!”
“I’m never moving out of this spot”
And finally…. “ We need these mats ALL OVER the house”
What he doesn’t realize is that I’d NEVER put that material all over the house…….
I have him right where I want him. In front of the sink, poised to wash bottles, and never wanting to move. I’m not nearly as dumb as I look…………………and perhaps, with a little luck, some incredibly comfy feet, and an equally happy hubby……….. I’ll never have to wash a bottle, ever again!
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