“Nobody’s gonna want you.. “
That’s what my grandma said to me, lying in her hospital bed. This was just after she told me the doctor had put rocks in her belly. Although what she actually said was “petras”. You see, my grandma was Greek (off the boat Greek) and by this time, she was also suffering from pretty bad dementia. She was elderly and had been in and out of the hospital for a while and things weren’t looking good. She had always been a spit fire. The kind of woman who speaks her mind, about anything and everything, no matter where she was or who was listening.
As she held my hand she asked me ..
“How old are you again?”
“I’m 30 Grandma”
Humpf…”and you’re not married yet?”
“No Grandma”
“Jesus Christ”, (she was a religious woman), “nobody’s gonna want you”.
From the unique vantage point of my Grandma, she could see that I was turning into an old maid right before her very eyes.
And, who knows, maybe I was…
And then…. it all changed when I met hubby!
As an “older” bride (and I use that word very loosely), I had a very developed sense of myself. I, very clearly, knew what I liked & what I wanted.
As hubby and I grew closer and we challenged each other, we learned that we have very different communication styles with regard to our needs and wants. Many of these opposing qualities have nothing to do with how compatible we are but rather, they illustrate the vast differences between men & women.
So, as I’ve navigated through this sea of marriage….. I’ve had to learn to float with the tide, use the wind to my benefit and sometimes duck for cover from the big swells. As much as I love the sea, I understand that I can’t always control it or fight it.
As the years have passed, I’ve learned to enjoy the calmness of the water on a clear day and to always enjoy the beautiful sunrise that follows a big storm.
But perhaps the best wisdom I’ve gained:
When a Woman Gets Married She’s Thinking: “I’m so excited to share my life with someone… now that there are 2 of us, we’ll be able to get twice as much done!”
When a Man Gets Married He’s Thinking: “Cool, now that there’s someone else sharing the work, I’ll only have to do half as much!”
You are f’n brilliant!
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To have the vision to understand the view from different sides is great. He was lucky you could see him.
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It’s great to meet you through your blog. I’ve read a couple of posts. made you my friend at BlogCatalog, and now I’m adding your blog as a favorite. I like your attitude, what you have to say and how you say it.
Cheers 🙂
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Funny stuff. I really like your blog and the most recent posts are great. I found you on the list of finalists for Top Marriage Blogs (here-http://bit.ly/72S98c)
we’re fellow finalists.. hope you make the top 10 cause this is good stuff.
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EstherbMFT ~ Thanks for stopping by. I’m happy to be nominated and I’m thrilled to have been introduced to so many new blogs. I definitely be by to check out your blog!
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I’d say we had the same grandma but mine was from Sweden and she never called us old maids. lol She was always a classy lady but she could speak her mind and you always knew how she felt about you. Mine died a year after I was married and I still miss her to this day. I got married in 1988 and have been estranged from my husband since 2002 (long story).
I’m glad you found a husband that can respect who you are and grow thru the changes of being I to we.
Keep up the great writing!!
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Katharine ~ I have such an appreciation for that brutal honesty. Anytime I think back to some of the “crazy” things that came out of Grandma’s mouth, I smile!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
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Love your use of the sea and the tides as an analogy for navigating through the waves of marriage. It is so true that sometimes you just need to go with the flow and understand that each person is unique. Enjoyed the post!
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ZippyChix ~ Thank you! Sometimes you just have to weather the storm…. The sun always comes up eventually 🙂
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Hi. Let me begin by saying I get a great kick out of reading your blog!
In fact, I’ve enjoyed it so much that I’m planning to do a review of it for my newest blogging venture ‘The Magnolia Blossom Review’
It’s not a professional review or anything; just my musings over sites that really strike my fancy because I think it’s a shame that there aren’t a lot of positive review sites out there in the blogosphere.
I was wondering if you happen to have a small .jpg of you, the author, (unless the banner image is of you and your husband…then I suppose I could copy and crop it) that I could put with the review. Please feel free to visit my site to see how I would use it.
I’m planning on having it ready by 5:00 PM Wednesday (July 28…yes, I realize that’s tomorrow and this is kind of late notice but I’ve been a bit laid up with a badly injured knee)
Thanking you so much in advance.
(Oh, and I’ve read your 2 How it all began posts and I especially liked the bit about the Bromance…too too funny!)
L. Avery Brown
http://whenasouthernwomanrambles.blogspot.com/
http://magnoliablossomreview.blogspot.com/
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L. Avery ~ Thanks a ton for offering a review, I’ll shoot you an email right now!
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Very funny! Alpha Hubby’s take would be more along the line of “Cool, now I have someone in my bed all the time!” I’m your newest follower visiting from LB Tea Party – love this site!!
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30 is the new 20!
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Can’t wait to start reading your blog now that I’ve found it!
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You are so right– about man vs woman thinking. That’s how I would think… Yes, twice as much work done! Haha!
Love your blog. It just made me laugh out loud. 🙂
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wow … interesting blog …. for those who are married and for those who would be 🙂
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Great blog! I’m glad I found it through freshly pressed. 🙂 I’m surely gonna read as much as I can since I simply love whatever I’ve seen till now.
Keep up the amazing writing!
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Bites of S&S ~ Thanks for stopping by… and for the kind words!
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the difference of perceptions is funny…..good going 😀
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Great blog, showing the odd relationship that 2 sides of the same coin share; cool.
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