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In honor of a blog link up being hosted this week at The Happy Wives Club (which is all about why we love our husbands) I’m re-posting a list that I originally put on the blog after my 1 year blogiversary.   It’s funny sometimes to go back and read old posts because it very clearly shows me that with time…. nothing really changes……   LOL!  (I’ve been blogging here at THD for over 3 years now, and hubby provides me with just as much material today *perhaps more with the addition of his mini-me* as he ever did 3 years ago).

 

So, without further ado….

 

I’ve decided to note all the reasons I love my dear hubby (read as: put up with all his annoying behaviors). Because let’s be honest, if hubby didn’t have at least some redeeming qualities I would have run screaming from the house a little over 9 years ago!    This list is slightly modified from it’s original form (with some “modern day” updates!)

 

And, in true Hubby Diaries fashion… I will of course put my own spin on the reasons hubby is so awesome! So, here we go….

 

10 Reasons I Love My Hubby

 

10. I only catch him rolling his eyes at me occasionally (and this is usually when I’m singing commercial jingles or 70s songs while we’re in public)

9. He actually does know where the laundry room is when it REALLY counts…  (just wish it hadn’t taken 9 years to know this little tid bit…..)

8. He tries to keep our bedroom clean (this is of course by filling his closet & drawers with trash & crap – and, I suppose this would actually be “clean” if I never opened any of these secret hiding places)

7. He helps me practice my linguistic skills by making me repeat myself over and over and over and over………

6. Sometimes he empties the dishwasher

5. He ALWAYS leaves at least one, solitary, lonely, cookie in the box (although I’m still not sure if this is because he’s thinking of me OR because he doesn’t want to have to be the one to throw away the box)

4. He has a firm understanding of the definition of an “insane amount of poop” and yet, he will still change a diaper!

3. His food quirks provide me with endless hours of entertainment

2. He ensures that our house is always filled with the biggest, best & newest technology (No, hubby… this does not mean it’s time for a new TV!)

 

And the #1 reason why I love my hubby…..

 

1.  He puts up with the fact that I blog about every silly little thing that he does!!

 

(and, after over 3 years of blogging… he still provides me with more material than I know what to do with!!!)

 

If you’d like to visit the blog link up to find other “Why I Love My Husband” lists please visit The Happy Wives Club by clicking the image below

Why I Love My Husband

 

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IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE MOST RECENT POST…..

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN!

IF YOU HAVEN’T TAKEN A MOMENT TO VOTE YET, PLEASE READ BELOW!

 

A short while ago I posted asking you to take a moment to nominate The Hubby Diaries as one of your favorite marriage blogs over at  Stupendous Marriage

 

So, let me start by saying THANK YOU! 

 

They have now listed the nominees for this year and the site is ready for voting!    I would LOVE to be included in the final list this year.  So, if you could, please take a moment and head over there to vote.  I swear it will still only take a second.  You will need to provide an email address since there’s only one vote allowed per person but they will not solicit you at any time afterwards.

 

There are many, many great websites that provide coaching and forums to improve your marriage but at The Hubby Diaries we take a slightly different approach.  We offer you the opportunity to laugh at your differences and to find comfort in the fact that women all over the world are, right-this-very-second, shaking their heads at their husbands.  So, if we make you chuckle or if you’ve ever thought, I can soooo relate, please give us a vote.  (and we wouldn’t mind it if you asked your friends to do the same, or if you tweeted this, or posted it to Facebook – easy buttons are below – , or just shared the blog with your other friends who are in relationships).  This is my one and only pitch for you to help promote The Hubby Diaries if you enjoy it.    And I promise, next post, we’re right back to exploiting hubby’s craziness!

 

So…. if you click on the image below, it will take you directly to their site where you can vote for us as your favorite. 

 

And again…. who knows, maybe you’ll discover some great new blogs….. so long as you don’t abandon us for these new blogs, I say it’s a win-win all around!!!

 

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MARRIAGE

I knew marriage had to be an acronym for something.

 

Men

Are

Rarely

Right

Immediately

After

Getting

Engaged

 

 

 

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I mentioned not long ago, that hubby thinks an entire brigade of fairies lives in our house. These fairies buy toothpaste, change toilet paper and do laundry.  But at Christmastime, the fairy brigade brings in reinforcements in the form of an entirely new army…. The Nutcracker Brigade. 

 

Ok, I admit it….. I am an over-decorator.  Christmas can be found EVERYWHERE in our home. In the kitchen, on many windows, in the family room, the living room, the dining room, the bathrooms.  And, it might be important to note, that I do the decorating.  And realistically this probably doesn’t surprise you.  We know hubby doesn’t have an eye for decorating and he surely doesn’t have the oomph to motivate himself to clear off surfaces of day-to-day decorations.  It’s also highly unlikely that he’d take the initiative to sort through something like 10 bins of Christmas crap.  So, his role winds up being; lugging all the bins down from the attic, hanging all the high Christmas lights outside and readying the army for their holiday battle.

 

So, after I’ve put away tchotchkes, candles & family photos to make room for the Christmas explosion, I then sort through my 9 (ish) bins of Christmas joy.  But, there’s always one lonely bin that sits untouched in the dining room, anxiously awaiting hubby’s attention. 

 

It would be unheard of for me to display hubby’s prized nutcracker collection.  You see, it’s been a tradition in hubby’s family for his mom to buy him a new nutcracker every-single-Christmas.  And, given that hubby is now 35… that’s a damn lot of nutcrackers.  We’ve actually been challenged over the years, to find a suitable surface that can accommodate this ever-growing army.

 

The Entire Christmas Army

 

Hubby does indeed love his collection.  And, I know better than to try to position the army on the table (which they’re close to outgrowing) because I obviously have no idea what formation the army will be taking this year…. That’s all part of the magic…….

 

So, while hubby can sit around and watch me decorate the rest of the house for hours, he bides his time for the correct, exact, moment to deploy his soldiers.  And then, he meticulously removes them from their bin, one-by-one, and situates each one into the proper formation for the year. 

 

Sometimes they are all lined up like soldiers marching forward in the Civil War.

Frontline Soldiers Leading The Attack

 Sometimes they stand together in small groups like a football team taking the proper starting positions on the field.

Special Formation Groupings

 

Then, there’s a General (hubby’s favorite soldier) who clearly leads the charge and is purposefully positioned in the center of his brigade.  All other soldiers are fastidiously placed in their corresponding roles.  And, as hubby says, he never puts the soldiers he likes in the flanking positions (these spots are obviously for the expendable soldiers).  Yes, he truly has given this thought.

The General

The formation is indeed different each year. I guess it depends on who fought well in the previous year’s battle.  And, should a new soldier enlist who hubby particularly fancies, you just never know what might happen to the current General.  It’s quite possible he’d be demoted the following year.  I think the current General has had his post for about 8-9 years now but you never know when some young blood might come into the mix and earn himself a gold star.  Yes, this may sound crazy to you… but I suppose it’s hubby’s way of irritating me,  acting like a child, walking down memory lane.  And, I do also suppose that if it puts a holiday smile on his face it’s a small price to pay..

 

Now, if only these soldiers would indeed perform some tasks around the house (similar to their sister brigade of fairies) maybe, just maybe, I’d have a holiday smile on my face too…..

 

A gal can dream…. Can’t she???

 

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If this is the first post you are reading, please start HERE to read the beginning of this story.

 

If you’ve been anxiously awaiting the ending to my cliff hanger, I apologize for disappearing.  I’ve been traveling all week for work and I just couldn’t find time to fit in blogging! 

 

Anyhow, when I last left you, our protagonist (also known as hubby) was grumbling incessantly about having to “pay money to cook his own dinner”.  For some reason he wasn’t able to see the value in spending quality time with his loving wife while learning a valuable lesson in the kitchen (this is probably because avoids the kitchen at all costs and, driving over an hour in rush-hour doesn’t necessarily make cooking your own dinner any more palatable!)

 

Anyhow, we started our cooking experience with a group of 26 other people.  We had assumed that each couple would get their own station to learn how to cook each course but alas, that was a silly assumption!   We cooked together as a class, which basically means that 6 overly aggressive people in the class did all the prep & cooking and the rest of us craned our necks to see what was going into the pan.  Hubby was assigned the exciting task of crushing walnuts for dessert (a task that he obviously needed to travel NY to master).  All-in-all this was a successful nut crushing experience (come on – I just had to go there!) and we did in fact enjoy a tasty dinner.  Now, given that our dinner was successful and ended around 10:00pm, you’d probably think that we were approaching the end of an enjoyable and relaxing evening.  We had survived the drive into the city, we had learned how to mould dough and bake pear crustatas and we were headed off to find a nice place to have a cocktail with our friends before we set out for our hour drive home.

 

But, as they say, be careful of making assumptions too quickly.  Because what seemed like an enjoyable end to our evening was about to take a turn……

 

We settled into seats at new bar in Bryant Park.  Hubby asks what sort of smoky scotches they have (you may remember, that hubby likes his scotch!) and the waitress looks at him as if he’d asked her how much it cost to build the Empire State Building.  So, hubby follows her to the bar to speak directly to the bartender whose only additional knowledge comes in the form of pointing to bottles on the back bar.  So, after hubby noses a few bottles, he finds one he likes, and asks the bartender how much.  When he settles back at our table hubby declares that he just selected a $21 glass of scotch.  Now, hubby’s had an incredibly crappy month, he’s put up with my NYC cooking excursion and if he wants a $21 glass of scotch then so be it!  Except of course, the moron bartender didn’t actually tell him how much the scotch was at all.  But, we don’t find this out until we get our bill which shows that hubby ordered a whopping $55 a glass scotch…. Apparently it was a 21 year old scotch.. NOT a $21 scotch!!

 

Now maybe it was at this point, that we should have realized our relaxing night was about to take a rapid turn down a dark road, but we were naïve as we paid our astronomical bill and went on our merry way.

 

As we start this story, it’s about 11:30pm and I’ll try to take you through the next 6 hours of our night the best I can (yes, I did say SIX hours….)

 

11:30 – we return to pick up our car from the parking garage

11:45 – we’ve successfully made it out of the Lincoln tunnel without any major traffic issues

11:46 – we hit some major traffic issues (cars are literally not moving through the toll plaza to get onto the NJ Tpke)

11:50 – we still haven’t moved

11:55 – we change the radio station to find out what the heck is going on (we hear that all lanes are merging down to one lane at some point – that we can’t currently see – after the toll plaza)

12:00 – since we’ve still only moved about 10 feet, we decide to give up and cut across the traffic and to turn around and take a completely different route home

12:15 – we start to hear some really odd rattling in the car

12:20 – rattling is getting worse

12:30 – hubby’s getting cranky

12:35 – rattling is getting worse

 

It’s at the point in the story that I should mention that the car we are driving is a leased car, only a year old and has about 10,000 miles…. In other words:  It should NOT be rattling.

 

12:55 – our car breaks down on the side of the road… on a bridge…. with no shoulder  (bad, but only be beginning of how bad our night was about the get!)

12:56 – I pull out my cell phone to call AAA….. only to find that the battery is dead.  So, I say to hubby “hon, I need your phone, mine is dead”.  Hubby replies “well, that’s fantastic ‘cause my battery is dead too”

12:57And, it’s about now that I think my awfulizer hubby is going to have his own breakdown

12:58 – hubby is now out of the car, on the side of the road, leaning against the guard rail. The hood of the car is open and we are wondering what we’re going to do since we can’t call anyone, and there’s really no place to walk to get help.  So, we wait and hubby stews……

1:20ish – a cop finally pulls up behind us.

1:21 – he comes on his PA system and yells at hubby to “get back in the car”.  He then yells at us to “move your car off the bridge”.  Uhmmm…. Ok, asshole, don’t you think we would have moved the car if we could???.  Then, this ever-so-pleasant police officer, pushes our car about ½ a mile onto a shoulder, tells us a tow truck is on the way and drives off.

1:45 – tow truck arrives but since it’s a NJ Parkway tow truck he can only tow us off the next exit, not all the way home.

2:15 – we are deposited in the parking lot of a 24 hour grocery store and the tow truck guy lets me borrow his phone to call AAA.

2:20 – AAA tells us that it will be about an hour before the tow truck can get to us (I should also probably mention that we are still about 45 minutes from where we live)

2:21 – hubby hears that we’re still an hour away from getting any help and the furrow in his brow deepens……..(this is a bit of an understatement, but I’m not sure I can do  appropriate justice to his reaction without a camera – and, I’m not so sure it was the appropriate time to say “honey, lemme get a picture for the blog”)

2:25 – we go into the grocery store to use the rest room and to try to find an emergency charger for the phone

2:35 – we are now back in the car (it’s freezing outside – and we can’t turn it on) and I call AAA back to let them know that my phone is back on, in case they need to contact me

2:37 – AAA so pleasantly tells me, that the tow truck guy apparently came to the parking lot while we were in the store and he couldn’t find us.  And, since they didn’t have any way to contact us, he’d moved onto his next job.

 

WTF – We were in the store for 10 minutes – We were told it would take him an hour – AND – there are only 10 friggin’ cars in the parking lot.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE COULDN’T FIND OUR CAR????

 

2:38 – we are basically told that since he took another job we have to wait at least ANOTHER hour for him to come back.

 

Did I mention that it’s about 35 degrees outside and we can’t turn on the car????

And, if my last description of hubby’s furrowed brow was an understatement, I’m not even sure where to begin to describe his reaction to this new news!

 

Let’s just say, he got out of the car for a few minutes of private time………………….

 

 

3:00 – hubby hasn’t actually said anything  for about 30 minutes and it looks like his head could possibly explode (and I don’t mean the kind of explosion that could come from me over-talking.  This explosion would more likely come from a boiling over of emotions that had begun to make steam seep from his ears…..)

4:00ish – We get a call – on my newly charged cell phone – that tow truck guy is on his way back to us

5:00 – we are finally pulling into our driveway

5:01 – I’m forking over $170 to the tow truck guy to put the finishing touches on our fun-filled cooking excursion to NYC

 

We are cranky, miserable and just plain exhausted as we finally climb into bed ….

 

Needless to say, I think I did actually learn a few lessons from this relaxing, fun, enjoyable, nightmarish evening in NY with friends.

  1. Things can indeed get worse…
  2. If you’re having a rough month and living under a dark cloud, it will indeed follow you to another state
  3. You should never, ever leave the house without a cell phone charger

 

And perhaps the most important learning….

 

Maybe, just maybe, Hubby will go to any lengths possible to try to ensure that he’s never again asked to cook dinner………………..

 

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Well… some day I’m going to figure out how to properly juggle life, work, laundry, food shopping, cleaning and all those other life necessities in addition to blogging.  It seems that on any given week one of these items is suffering.  It’s usually food shopping – as evidenced by all the take out containers currently in my fridge – but this week, it was also blogging.

 

This week has been a whirlwind.

 

This was one of those weeks where the world crumbles around you and all you can do is stand in the middle of the tornado and hope that when the house finally settles, you’ll see cute little munchkins and a colorful new path to follow.

 

And just for the record, I’m still waiting for the witch to stop bicycling past our window (and no, that’s not a Halloween reference although, I do have some Halloween stories that I’ll have to share at a later time).  Today’s post will give you a glimpse into the mess that has recently become known as our lives.

 

If you’ve been a long time reader, you know that hubby is an Awfulizer.  And normally, I am The Voice of Reason, The Talker off the Cliff, The Keeper of the Feet on the Ground, for hubby.  But this week has been one of my most challenging weeks ever.

 

Let me start the story with a little groundwork.

 

 

And oh yeah…. I am an EVIL WOMAN

 

Now that the scene has been set, let’s reflect back to last weekend.

 

Due to an array of details that I can’t blog about, hubby is having an incredibly tough time at work.  This started about a month ago and he is apparently on one of those paths, where things do indeed get worse before they get better.  As a result, Hubby is cranky all the time and is having trouble seeing the forest through the trees.   So, when the weekend arrives, hubby wants to do things that make him happy and give him a brief respite from the stresses of his work week.  BUT… life somehow continually gets in way of this.  It started last weekend when we began to wrestle with the challenge of balancing his need for downtime with the need to do some necessary outdoor house projects that MUST get done before it gets too cold.  As you can imagine, since any household project is obviously for ME not for him (this is the beauty of the Division of Labor at our house!), I am an evil force working against him to ensure that he’s miserable & overworked at home, just like at his job.

 

As I’m sure you know, from reading the blog, I spend almost all of my downtime crafting ways to ruin hubby’s life.  I take incredible joy in watching him toil away doing useless and unnecessary chores around our house (you know things like tossing empty soda cans into the trash, putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket and the life-destroying – wiping up toothpaste from the sink).  Yes, I’m THAT evil.

 

So, hubby lost his entire weekend to chores and apparently I’m the reason that he didn’t get to de-stress before he headed back to the mine field that is work.  So, when this weekend rolled around, hubby was feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders and was bearing the burden of 2 weeks of crankiness since he didn’t get any down time last weekend.  And, what better way to de-stress than for me to force him to go into NYC with another couple, to take a cooking class.  Ok, well, I’m sure hubby could name oh, about a cajillion things that would be better.

 

Things like:

  • Poking his eyes out with a pencil
  • Tearing his nose hairs out with tweezers
  • Or quite possibly…. getting a root canal

 

Which in more literal terms, means he’s extra miserable that I’m making him do something so stupid!  And, just to set the record straight, this evening had been discussed, planned & paid for weeks earlier (well before his life started to suck…)  So here we are, headed to NY for an evening of cooking, wine and friends….. it’s obviously bound to be a miserable night!

 

And, sorry to do this to you but……please stay tuned for part 2.  Where you get to see just how dark the cloud is that’s living above our heads

 

And, I know it doesn’t seem all that miserable yet.. but ask yourself what might happen if you combine a $55 glass of scotch, a grocery store, a dead cell phone and a cop (but not necessarily in that order)!

 

To read Part 2 of this story please click here:  Yes, Things Can Get Worse! 

 

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