As we approach the 4 month mark of having a little one in our lives… I have learned quite a few things.
- I have learned that when you think he’s done pooping… he might actually not be done at all
- I have learned you will go many places and interact with many people, with spit up all over your clothes…. and you’ll be quite smelly but you won’t care
- I have learned that the amount of laundry you need to do can, in fact, rival the amount of linens cleaned at a 500 room hotel
- I have also learned that you can indeed function with virtually no sleep and that the # of times you can put a pacifier back in a mouth borders on 962 times in one night.
But, perhaps the biggest learning of them all can best be outlined by a Top 10 list. So, here goes…………
The Top 10 Things a Man Will Hear (while he’s asleep) BEFORE He Hears A Baby Crying:
10. A car alarm 6 blocks over, in the middle of hurricane force winds, through double paned windows.
9. The “splitz” sound made by a can of beer opening at the neighbor’s house, during a party with a live band
8. The low hum of a sub-woofer turned on in the basement man cave when he’s 3 floors above it
7. A bad call made by a referee at a football game, 60 miles away
6. The rumble of a motorcycle 6 towns over
5. The *bleep bleep* of a text message, from the pocket of a coat that’s in the closet
4. The crinkle of a package of Oreo’s opening
3. The bubbling of cheese on a hot, fresh pizza
2. The zipper of a woman’s pants coming off
And, the #1 thing a man can hear, while sleeping…. The sales clerk changing the shelf price of a 72” tv at the local Best Buy to be “on sale”
What does this all mean?? It simply means that unless I kick hubby in the middle of the night while I’m holding the screaming baby up against the side of his head… he will not hear him (or so he says…..)
And, just to prove a point, I googled this phenomenon. And, found THIS article. And holy crap, it actually justified all of the above (DANG IT!) And, since you know how things go in my house, it’s probably no surprise that hubby likes to refer me back to this article anytime I start to complain……………
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