Thank You Very Much ESPN

I’ve mentioned that I’ve been having an incredibly busy time at work lately.  This includes many long work days and a heck of a lot of evening events & dinners.  BUT, I happen to work in an industry that also comes with a variety of perks… and last week I got to enjoy one of these perks.

 

So all week long, I was running around our house singing  dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun  or maybe it’s da-da-da, da-da-da  

(I’ve never been all that good “writing out” onomatopoeia.  AND, the mere fact that I just got to incorporate the word onomatopoeia into a blog post has just about Made-My-Week!)

 

Anyhooo… if you have no idea what I’m talking about just click on one of those words above and you’ll get to listen to the audio clip that hubby had to hear every 12.6 seconds, all week long.  But of course, since I was personally singing my version, it was far more soulful and vibrant and ok, who am I kidding….. probably just irritating….

 

You see, due to a corporate partnership, I was lucky enough to host a group from work on a private tour through ESPN Studios in Bristol,CT (which, by the way, is in the middle of butt-frickin’ no where!).

 

So, all week long I had to remind hubby that I was going to ESPN and he was not.  Yeah, I’m a pain like that…….

 

It was actually a very cool experience.  We toured the entire campus; control rooms, sets, research areas, radio studios and so on.  We saw a few “celebrities”, you know the kind you’d find on SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight.

 

Afterwards, I remembered that I had a hubby (ok, just kidding) and I bought him a few items from the gift shop…  See, I really am a good wife….

 

So, when I came home I was relaying some details of my day to my jealous hubby and I said something like… “You want to know one of the coolest things I saw??”

Hubby replied:  “Sure”

Me:  “Ok, well they took us in this one room to see a promo tape they were working on for ESPN in 3D!”

Hubby:  “Are you sure you want to tell me this…..”

Me:  “It was so cool”

Hubby: “I’m just saying… it’s in your best interest not to tell me this….”

Me: “What do you mean?  It was wild, they gave us 3D glasses and we watched this video compilation of all these different sports.  The 3D was AMAZING!  It was awesome the way some of the players jumped out at you, how real it felt, how…..”

Hubby: “I don’t think you’re listening to me….. you should not be telling me this…..”

Me:  “What do you mean?”.

Hubby:  “Probably not a good idea to tell me how cool the 3D was….”

 

And then, slowly, I begin to realize what’s happening……

 

Me:  “Uhmmmm…. yeah, NO.. you are not getting a 3D TV”

Hubby:  “I told you, it wasn’t a good idea to tell me….”

Me:  “Yeah, but it was truly really cool.  The spectators were, like, coming out of the TV.  The coolest were the shots of the snowboarders & skateboarders as they jumped off their half pipes in the air… they were suspended there in 3D….  it was so friggin’ awesome!!”

Hubby:  “You’re doing it again….”

Me: “But……ahhhh….. “

Hubby:  “Now, I want a 3D TV”

Me:  “Ok, I’ll shut up now.  It wasn’t a very good trip anyway.  By the way……I brought you this hat……..”

 

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably realize that I’ve opened up a whole can of worms and that, quite possibly, I am my own worst enemy.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about I suggest you read some of the previous posts about my dear hubby and our TV “history”.  You can find some of them here, here and  here.

 

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Electronics Envy

Many people say that bigger is better.

 

As far as men go, I think the best example of this theory can be seen with TVs.  If I had to guess, I’d say that TV Envy is probably a pretty common male trait.   And, as you may have read in my Marriage Truths:  A TV is never big enough.

 

Somehow a man is a better man, with a big TV.  It’s some sort of an outward and unspoken sign of; manliness, importance and coolness, all rolled into one.

 

Let me share some examples:

 

During our basement Man Cave renovation, hubby was given a 50”Class TV … but, what the box actually said was… 49.9”.  And, he was “mocked” relentlessly by his friends that he didn’t have a 50” TV.  (gotta love boys being boys!).  We wound up having a problem with this TV and when we replaced it, hubby got a TV that was officially 52 inches.  (phew.…all is right with the world!)

 

Why am I thinking about this now?  Well, I’d like to share a story from this past week.

 

Hubby was outside mowing the lawn.  The end of his “chore season” is upon us.  No more outdoor work  = no more hubby chores?  (Hold on just one sec… there’s no way that’s gonna work.  I guess that’s a post for a different day……) Anyhow, he’s outside and our neighbor pulls into his driveway.  I have to be honest, I’m not sure if hubby went over to chat him up OR he came over to puff out his chest…(the meaning of this will become clear in a moment).  But, either way they wind up talking for a while outside.

 

Hubby comes inside not long after his conversation with our neighbor.

 

Hubby:  “Guess what Vinny got!” childlike enthusiasm

Me:  “What?”

Hubby:  “He just bought a new TV!”

Me: only half listening “That’s nice”

Hubby: “It’s 55 inches!!”  hubby is drooling with envy

Me: “You have a big TV” still not entirely paying attention

Hubby: “Not that big” pouting

Me: “Sorry honey, I can only imagine how hard it is to not have the biggest TV on the block anymore”

Dramatic pause..

Hubby:  “Guess what…”

Me:  “What?

Hubby:  “Well, Vinny couldn’t fit the TV AND his family into the car so he left them at the store”

Me: “ WHAT?” ok… I’m listening now..

Hubby:  “He had Lynn and the kids with him and they couldn’t all fit in the car so, he brought the TV home and left them there” obviously proud of Vinny’s ingenuity

Me: “Wait.. he left Lynn & the kids at the store and brought the TELEVISION home??”

Hubby: “Yep!” as if this was the only decision that makes any sense

Me: “I’m still not sure I get it… the TV came home BEFORE his family?”

Hubby:  smiling “Yep!”

 

Now, before you all start to question the sanity & behavior of Vinny… please understand that I later found out that he didn’t actually leave them at the store.  He took them to a neighboring store to do more shopping while he brought the TV home.  But, in true hubby-storytelling-form I was not getting all the information until I asked about 10 follow-up questions.

 

So,  based on the following behaviors:

• Vinny’s behavior:  Coming over to ”puff out his chest” and show off his new TV
• Hubby’s behavior:  Supporting the decision to put the TV above all else

 

The following things appear to be true:

• Men seem to feel the need to outdo each other at every turn when it comes to electronics. 
• Electronics seem to always get their attention even when other important things are involved.
• The tide can turn rather quickly, once another man makes a new purchase.

 

Do I even need to tell you what hubby talked about for the next hour?? 

 

Well, we discussed how we could rearrange our house to accommodate a 70” TV.  Or perhaps this could better be described as hubby discussing rearranging for a new imaginary TV… WITH HIMSELF.

 

(I don’t think he’s realized that he’s not the only one who can employ Selective Listening when it’s necessary!!  )

 

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When Two Becomes Too…

In my esteemed opinion (and since it’s my blog, I think I’ll call myself an authority) there’s a huge myth that exists about marriage. 

 

Marriage Myth #1:  By joining your lives in marital bliss…

Two Becomes One.

 

The assumption that when you merge your life with someone else’s, you blend together all of your emotions, thoughts, needs and desires is quite ludicrous, in my opinion.

Let’s take hubby & me.

 

Emotions

Hubby feels that Sundays should be a day of rest & football games
I feel that broken cabinets should be fixed before there’s rest & football on Sundays

 

Thoughts

Hubby thinks that everyone driving on the road in close proximity to him is a stupid moron
I think that hubby can be a bit intolerant and mean to all those stupid morons

 

Needs

Hubby needs a beer & a great video game session to make him happy
I need a glass of wine & a clean bathroom to make me happy

 

Desires

Hubby desires a 70” HD LCD TV
I desire beautiful, granite counter tops in the kitchen

 

As you can see, hubby and I can be quite divergent on all those things that should have been merged by marriage, into a singular life of togetherness.

While togetherness and a joint approach to things is important, there’s a lot to be said about independence in a marriage.  Maintaining a sense of who YOU are, is just as important as developing a shared approach to married life.  And, giving each other the freedom to pursue independent interests, or to simply enjoy personal time, can be invaluable.

So, that of course brings me to my personal theory about marriage.

 

When you share your life with someone through marriage…

Two Becomes Too.

 

This allows you to continue to have your own emotions, thoughts and wants but offers you the opportunity to have someone join you as you both walk forward side by side.

You will of course need to ensure that you do share some commonalities with the “Big Ticket Relationship Items”.

Things like:

• Politics
• Religion
• Finances
• Who gets which side of the bed
• Who holds the remote
• And.. the ever-so-important, Which beer do you keep on tap 

And, even if you disagree on some of these, you can still maintain a healthy respect for your spouse’s opinions and learn to compromise.   Sometimes it’s necessary to just simply agree to disagree. (and trust me… this is a necessary tool for any successful marriage!!) 

And, when all else fails, you can agree to rotate between light, amber beers, and dark, hoppy beers each time you get a new keg.

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