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Do I Like That?

Admin:

A #TBT post….. This one will be forever known as the “Ginger Incident”. ENJOY!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

A vacation dinner conversation.

 

Me: “What do you think you’re gonna have?”

Hubby: “I’m not sure, I’m between the salmon or the chicken”

Me: “Really?”

Hubby: “Yeah why?”

Me: “I don’t know… I guess cause I read the whole menu, and I was pretty sure you’d decide on the pork”

Hubby: “The pork, really?

Me: “Yeah, they have a shredded Mayan pork”

Hubby: “I like that?”

Me: “Well, you love pulled pork, don’t you?”

Hubby: “Yeah, I guess so”

Me: “Then why wouldn’t you like this pork?”

Hubby: “Uhm… I don’t know…”

Dinnner arrives.

 

Hubby: “This is one of the best dinners I’ve had”

Me: “I figured you’d like it”

Hubby: “I guess I forgot that I liked pork”

Me: “Why do I know what you eat better than you do?”

Hubby:  “I have no idea.. but thanks!”

I’ve mentioned that hubby has come a…

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Admin:

It’s been a while since I’ve done a #TBT post… so here’s one that many people seemed to like!

(Don’t forget to clink on the link at the bottom to see #11-27!!)

 

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

When I first started this blog I made a list of “Marriage Truths” that have truly stood the test of time.

Today I’ve decided to add some new things to my list… this is probably also a good “Things I Wish I’d known Before I Got Married” List!

  1. Marriage is fun… but fun doesn’t always come easy.
  2. Men & women almost never, ever, see things through the same eyes
  3. “Clean” is not always clean.  This becomes even more apparent as your family begins to grow
  4. The TV is never big enough
  5. Bright lights, bells and whistles make just about anything better (and new electronics/technology can sometimes please even the grumpiest man!)
  6. Nagging & talking can sometimes be synonymous
  7. A man cave can be a lifesaver (for both of you!)
  8. Sometimes a hug can go a long way
  9. Communication only works when you are both listening………..
  10. Laughing together is important…

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For those of you who have a loving husband like mine, you’ll likely appreciate this story.  It’s a story of compassion, caring & love.  It’s a story about sympathy, empathy and sensitivity.  It’s a glimpse into how wonderful he can be when the chips are down. When those around him are suffering.  And, when someone he loves needs tenderness and kindness.

 OR IS IT???

 

If you’ve read more than one post here at THD, you likely know that the wonderful picture I painted above is likely NOT my hubby.  My hubby is all about sarcasm, laughter,  jabs at his (awesome) wife and making my life difficult or at least minorly challenging.

 

So, here goes my story!

 

This past weekend I started experiencing some throbbing pain my lower jaw.  Now, it’s wasn’t debilitating pain.. just uncomfortable and recurring.   I couldn’t actually pinpoint the source of the issue, it was either my jaw or perhaps my back molars.   I took some advil, drank some wine and figured it would eventually go away.  Well, 2 days later it’s still bothering me and the news stations are starting to report about an “epic” and “prolific” snow storm on its way to the Northeast.  I don’t know about you but the word prolific should never be used to describe a snow storm.. and, with the accuracy of most weathermen, it’s probably a term that can create mass hysteria (aka – 9 mile long lines in my grocery store and shelves without any bread).  Anyhoooo,  on the cusp of an historic storm, I decide it might be prudent to get in to see a dentist immediately so I don’t find myself with some awful dental issue without the ability to get to a dentist because of 3 feet of snow!

 

So.. I should give a little bit of background before I take you to the dentist with me.  I have TMJ plus I tend to deal with ALL the stress in my life by clenching my teeth while I sleep.  It’s just awful and if you have ever been a teeth clencher or a teeth grinder you likely know how much it sucks.  So, I often wear a night guard (I know – immensely attractive and sexy) to bed each night.  It’s supposed to relieve the pressure on my back teeth to solve (or at lease ease) some of the issues I have.  So, back to my throbbing pain.  I mentioned before I couldn’t really identify the source…. And this is simply because if I’d had a particularly bad night with my teeth clenching (probably an output of stepping over one too many items on the stairs or staring at one too many Christmas bins that have yet to be put away) it’s quite possible that it would resolve itself and I wouldn’t need a visit to the dentist.

 

But – cue impending snow storm music – I figure it’s better to be safe than sorry and I scurry off to the dentist!

 

Long story short… the dentist determines that it’s likely not a major tooth issue but rather a flare up of a muscle problem in my jaw, directly related to my teeth clenching.   He suggests that I don’t do anything “taxing” to aggravate the issue (don’t gnaw on any hard bagels, no chewing gum etc.. etc.).  He then also suggests that I limit my stress levels so I can relax my jaw and ‘give it a break’.   Now, since reducing my stress levels would have to include either killing my husband or getting him to complete some basic household chores  – the former option the most likely – he basically says to just do everything I can to relax and not put any undo aggravation on my swollen muscles.

 

So, on the way home I call hubby and relay my diagnosis.  I’m barely done telling him that it’s not an issue with my tooth and he’s already laughing at me and saying “So, you got a diagnosis from the dentist that resulted in a suggestion that you should stop talking!!!” (I can practically see him grinning through the phone)  “This is the best day EVER – the dentist just told you to stop talking!!”.  He’s giggling and laughing and quite jolly, as he says again.  “Hahahaha.. you were just told by the dentist to shut up!!”.   I calmly say to him… “I’m so glad you’re happy I’m in pain.  The dentist didn’t tell me to stop talking.  He simply said to relax and not aggravate it”.  Then I hung up on him because I can feel myself clenching my jaw in aggravation and wanting to punch him through the phone.

 

15 minutes later I’m back home, standing in my kitchen about to take more advil and the phone rings.  It’s hubby….. OH JOY!

 

“I called the dentist” he said

“You did what??” I asked him

“I called the dentist.” he repeats

“You called the dentist”  …. now I’m a broken record

“Yes, I called the dentist,  to thank him………………”   (yes, this really did happen)

“You called the dentist to thank him.”  I’d like to say that I can’t believe what I’m hearing… but I do believe it because well….. it’s MY hubby and this is the life I’ve chosen

“Yep, I called him to thank him for giving you a diagnosis and a recommendation of not talking.   It’s a great gift he’s given me and I had to thank him!!”

“You’re serious aren’t you?”  I feel the need to verify what I already know……………….that I’m married to a lunatic!

“I sure am.  I talked to the girls at the desk and then I spoke to the Dr. AND….. (he proudly declares) they are all hysterically laughing!”  he’s so happy with himself

 

****** SIGH ******

 

“Oh… by the way” he said  (as if the first part of this story wasn’t enough)  “I also called my Dad… he can’t stop laughing either.  And, I called my brother too…. He wants to know exactly what’s wrong with you because he wants to see if we can afflict his wife with the same problem so the dentist can recommend she shouldn’t do any talking either…………………”

 

Such compassion.  Such love.    I really am so lucky to have him in my life.

 

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Hello!  I’ve missed you all.  It’s been an insane holiday season filled with family time, illnesses and WAY too much work.   Perhaps you’ve enjoyed the respite from my nutso stories or maybe, just maybe, you’ve been missing me ….. a little bit??

 

Either way, I stole some time from a long list of other things I should be doing to write a post today.

 

I’ve written many times about how difficult it seems to be for men to find things in their own home.  And I’m not talking about the silver pie server that makes an appearance at one dinner every 5-6 years.   Or the cookie cutters that only come out at Christmas time – you know, the ones that hubby probably doesn’t even know we own… even though he partakes in consuming probably 85+% of the cookies, lovingly cut with these and painstakingly decorated each holiday?   I’ve shared stories about him not being able to find things in the pantry that are RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.  I’ve blogged about the mysteriously missing cable modem.  And, I’ve also begrudgingly showed you a picture of a closet where misplaced & “lost” items go to die.

 

I’m always baffled about how most men (more than I can count in my own life) have ZERO idea where many things go.  This is showcased by the miraculous day they empty the dishwasher.  When the stars align, Mercury is in retrograde and they have a moment of complete love, helpfulness, craziness and decide to partake in a household chore (GASP!).  And then, stay with me ladies  – you all know this moment – they stand proudly next to a pile of items they’ve removed from the dishwasher and placed on the counter only to declare that they’ve gone as far as they can with this task because “they have no idea where the rest of the items go….”.  All the while, simultaneously waiting for a pat on the back for all the help they’ve just provided you!!  ****SIGH*****

 

But what’s even more perplexing to me is how they sometimes seem to lack knowledge of many of their own things.  I mean heck, it’s one thing to not know about kitchen items (apparently MY domain – even though I don’t have recollection of accepting this domain as mine).  But, when they forget that they own something, forget where they put their favorite shirt, or belt, or tool… it just doesn’t compute for me!

 

So, take this example and help me to understand.

 

Over the holidays we decided to have some family pictures taken as a surprise gift for my parents.  Mostly grandchildren pictures but we did a few full family shots.  And, like any dorky family picture, we decided to get all matchy-match.  You can groan if you want – Hubby sure did!   Anyhow, part of the plan for our outfits was for everyone to wear brown shoes.

 

So, hubby gets his “brown” shoes and puts them on.  He’s ready to go.

 

I look at his feet and I’m like… “Uhm hon?  Those shoes aren’t brown.”  To which he replies… “sure they are!”.

 

What’s with men and colors?  The shoes he has on are just simply not brown.  Maybe greenish, or some weird dark grey with a bizarre tint to them.    Even now, I’m not 100% sure I can define the color of the shoes he had on.  BUT, they were not brown.

 

So I say to him… “just go grab shoes that are actually brown”.   He gives me that look…. you know the look, the one that says “you’re crazy lady – I don’t know what you’re talking about” look.   Then he speaks, “These are the closest I have to brown… these will have to do”.  So I say, “No, you have actual brown shoes”.  “No I don’t”,  “Yes you do”, “I don’t think so”…. (you can see where this is going).  So, I go upstairs into his closet.  I move around piles of crap, things that have been missing for years (if you don’t remember how he keeps his closet – or drawers – check HERE & HERE) and lo and behold I find brown shoes… and then another pair of brown shoes.  I bring both pairs downstairs.   He looks at them…. “Hummmpf” he says, “I guess I do have brown shoes”……………………………

 

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The Naked Chef

Admin:

Since I’m absurdly busy and Thanksgiving will interfere with my #TBT post. I thought it would be appropriate today to share a throwback Turkey Day post from 2009. ENJOY!

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

With Turkey Day fast approaching I have had some time today to reflect on past holidays with family.

There are a few things that are guaranteed at one of our holiday extravaganzas.

  • Free flowing cocktails
  • Endless courses of amazing food
  • Non-stop, gut wrenching laughter

 

It’s the laughter part that I’d like to chat about today.

 

We are a family of game players.  We love to try out new group games at holiday functions.  There are a few standards like Catch Phrase, Cranium and Apple to Apples.  With each game, comes a story that we can laugh about, over and over, as the years go by.

Today, I’d like to give you a glimpse into the comedic chaos that is our family.

I’ll start with Apples to Apples.  If you haven’t played this game here’s the basic premise: Each player has cards that portray a person, place, thing…

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Did you ever have an argument with your spouse where you both insist that you are right.

 

But really, all the while, as you ping pong back and forth to make your case, you know that YOU are the one who is right?  And then, at the end of the debate, you both walk away feeling like you’ve “won”.

 

Well, to be honest, you probably didn’t win.  There are really no winners when you both think you’ve won… there are just delusions… because sometimes (heck, most times) one of you is actually wrong (GASP! – who ME?  Wrong?  NO WAY!!!)

 

But on occasion, you sometimes feel that you’ve made such a firm stance on your correctness, that you’ve swayed the other person just enough. so that they’ve teetered towards your side of right from their side of wrong.

 

And there you have it.  A stalemate of rightness.

 

As with most debates, the crux of the argument is oftentimes your perception of something, or your recollection of something, or perhaps even something you heard or saw.  Therefore, there’s virtually no way whatsoever to prove your “rightness”.  And, that’s where the debate ends.  You can’t settle the argument because you can’t go back in time to replay what someone may have or may not have said.  You can’t always agree on how you heard something or what someone was feeling.  BUT, on the rarest of occasions… you do in fact have proof that you are right.  And those days, well those days, are magical days.  The “I told you so” days that every relationship thrives on (or perhaps dies on – but let’s not go there today!).

 

Too many debates end without an actual end.  No closure.  And, I’m here to tell you, there’s no closure more sweet than the closure of proven correctness (insert evil laugh here – muahahahahaha)

 

And that folks is the story I’d like to tell today.  So… here it goes:

 

security lightWe have motion sensor security lights outside of our garage.  For a really long time one of the lights wasn’t working, I asked hubby about it and he told me that the bulb wasn’t making a proper connection.   So, the fixture sat there.. only ½ working for quite some time.

 

A couple of weeks ago when I arrived home after dark, I realized that the other light bulb was out.

 

So I say to hubby…. “Hon, I think we need to buy a new light bulb for outside”

He replies: “No. I told you, that light doesn’t work anymore.”

So I say: “Well, I know you mentioned that the one side wasn’t making a connection, but the other one is now out – so we should buy some new bulbs”

Visibly aggravated he says:  “No, the entire light is broken and hasn’t worked for quite some time”

And I say: “No….. one bulb has been out for as long as I can remember but the other side has been lighting up until today”

 

And the debate has begun.

 

Me:  “Hon, I’m absolutely positive that one light bulb has been working”

Hubby:  “No it hasn’t”

Me:  “Yes, it has”

Hubby:  “No, you’re wrong… that light hasn’t worked for weeks”

 

I feel the need to pause in this story to remind you (or to direct you to some old posts – just click on the following links) about hubby’s Selective Vision and his inability to notice basic things around him (HERE or HERE).  So, now that I’ve put that out there back to our debate.

 

Me:  “The left side of the light has been working.. I’m pretty sure we just need a new bulb”

Hubby:  “You are completely wrong.  The light’s broken.  It’s been broken for a while.  It hasn’t been lighting up at all.  We just need to buy a whole new light fixture”

Me: “Uhm… I know the one side has been broken… you told me about the problem months ago, but I’m still pretty sure the left side has been working.”

Hubby:  “Nope, you are wrong.”

 

I can see this is going nowhere.  We have hit a stalemate of correctness.  We’re both right, neither of us is budging, and that’s it.

 

So I say:  “Hmmppff… ok, I guess we need to buy a new light”  and then I walk away.  Now, this is that moment I spoke about above.  The walk away moment where I still know that I am right.

 

A day or 2 go by.  I go to the store.  I buy a new light fixture AND a new light bulb.  When I get home, I wait until it’s dark and I replace the left light bulb.   HELLLOOOOOOOOO…. Let There Be Light!    So, just for the hell of it (I’m on a roll now).   I decide to take that brand new light blub out of the left socket and I put it into the right socket (remember – the one that’s totally broken and has been for months).  And, lo and behold…… Let There Be Light!   Now I’m aggravated that I have to go back to the store because not only do I need to return the new fixture BUT I also didn’t have the foresight to buy 2 light bulbs.  So, a day and 2 new light bulbs later, I have a fully functioning light fixture outside.  Imagine that!!

 

What a "broken" light looks like  - Oh, WAIT, that's not broken!

What a “broken” light looks like – Oh, WAIT, that’s not broken!

I say nothing.   There’s no need for “I told you so’s”.  The illuminated driveway will speak for itself…. Or, so I think.

 

Now, I’ll refer you back to hubby’s inability to actually notice things around him.

It’s been 5 full days since I “fixed” the light.  7 full days since our original debate.  And, there’s been no mention from a certain someone about the ray of light that has magically appeared outside our garage.  So, maybe, just maybe, he hasn’t actually noticed it yet. Perhaps folks, you are now joining me in my “I told you so” moment because if he really hasn’t seen it, this blog is what’s going to give it away!

 

There are really no words necessary.. I know I was right.    Somebody else will eventually (at least after reading this blog!) know I was right.  And, we’re back to having light on our driveway.  Did everybody win…… well yes, in this particular debate, I do think so!

 

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The Snack Battle

Admin:

#TBT.. A glimpse back to Halloween of 2009. Too bad nothing has changed and I’m still wondering where all the Kit Kats went from the bag of Halloween candy I bought 2 weeks ago (and it’s only October 16th!)

Originally posted on The Hubby Diaries:

Today is Halloween.  For normal people, Halloween is a time to celebrate the Fall season with tricks & treats and ghosts and goblins.

For me however, it’s a day to test my ingenuity.

 

Let me explain.

 

Hubby has a sweet tooth.  He has a weakness for certain candies & cookies.  Anytime I bring something into the house that I know he likes, I have to either:

  • Stash some away for me or….
  • Buy multiple boxes to ensure that I get a taste. 

I’m the kind of person that could make a box of cookies last weeks.  I may eat 2 today, then none for 3 days, then maybe 2 more, then none for a week.  The problem with this method of consumption is that by day number 5, when I go to the cabinet I cannot find the package of cookies…. because, while I’ve been savoring this snacking…

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