Clean Is Not Always Clean

Oh. My. God.

I made a mistake today….. I opened a drawer…… I wish that I hadn’t.

 

This drawer was in hubby’s nightstand. A place I never, ever go. A place for hubby’s “nightstand stuff”

But, apparently, it’s a place that hubby never goes either.

 

So you have full appreciation for this story… I must share some photos.

Stage 1: The drawer in it's orignal condition

If you read my Random Marriage Truths you know that one of them says that clean is not always clean.

And, I have to admit that today is a testimony to this statement.

 

Even with the appearance of clean, it may not necessarily be clean at all…

 

So, although I’m scared.. I begin to explore.  I start by removing “big items”, books & old magazines… and here’s what I’m left with.

Stage 2: All magazines have been removed

 

As you can see, hubby’s “surface sweeping” method of cleaning, while it does indeed clear a surface, does not by my definition mean clean.

 

Here’s a catalog of items I uncovered in this drawer (it’s not 100% inclusive but it will give you a great overview)!

• 14 old magazines (4 different types)
• 3 lighters (hubby doesn’t smoke?)
• $28.42 (most of this was in change)
• 2 keys (God only knows what these open)
• 1 pair of glasses
• 3 books
• 1 battery
• 1 certified copy of his birth certificate (???????)
• 5 empty bottles of Afrin nasal spray (hubby has a SICK addiction to this stuff)
• 1 piece of candy
• 1 hotel bill from a vacation we took in July 2007
• 15 old birthday/holiday cards
• 1 GraBit screw and broken bolt extractor (who doesn’t need this next to the bed for emergencies??)
• Gold Bond itch cream

 

• And… more crumbled receipts, tissues and other crap, than I care to detail 

 

 

Well, there you have it. 

Beware of the male “clean”.  I think they truly believe that if it can’t be seen then it’s really not there.  I have no idea when hubby last cleaned out this drawer (perhaps he never has?).  But I do know that every single time I asked him to “clean off” his nightstand, the stuff on top did indeed disappear.

So ladies, my words of advice to you:

1. Be careful what you ask for…
2. Be careful how you ask…
3. Always understand that “clean may not always be clean”
4. If you are ever in bed and you need $.45, some itch cream, or you’re just wondering what you spent at home depot in 2007… just roll over and ask hubby to fish out what you need from the stash of important stuff in his nightstand!

And, my last words of wisdom:  If there’s a drawer in your house that you haven’t opened for a while….  Don’t say I didn’t warn you!