Hubby has, what I like to call, Selective Vision.
No.. there’s not anything wrong with his eyesight. As a matter of fact, it could be argued that he has a highly trained eye. Highly trained to only see that which is important to him.
Honestly, I’ve never really understood Selective Vision.
As a woman, we take in everything around us. Perhaps this is an innate trait given to us to be able to “have eyes in the back of our heads” for when we have children. Or…. perhaps, it’s a trait developed over the years, and fine tuned to be able to compensate for male Selective Vision.
Either way, I’m always shocked at how truly oblivious hubby is. If it doesn’t pertain to his immediate task, or if it’s not relevant to any activity of interest to him.. he truly does not see it.
Last year we were shopping for tile for our bathroom. And, we were discussing local shopping options.
Me: “well, there’s the place near McDonalds, the place in Middletown, the place with the blue awning around the corner, and hmmmm.. what’s that place by the grocery store”
Me: “you know, the place to the right of that big building where we buy our groceries..”
Hubby: “I have no idea what you’re talking about”
Me: “what do you mean.. we go there all the time?”
Hubby: “no, we go to the supermarket all the time.. not some tile place”
Me: “yeah, but it’s in the same shopping plaza”
Hubby: “I have no idea, I don’t pay attention to stuff like that”
Me: “you’ve lived in this area for 34 years…. And you’ve never noticed where there are tile stores??”
Hubby: “I’ve never shopped for tile”
You get the picture…
Tile has never been on hubby’s radar and so therefore taking in details of his surroundings has obviously never been important. I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to absorb any valuable information, as you’re driving mindlessly down the road, for possible future use. But, apparently hubby feels differently.
There have been many other examples over the years.
- Hubby steps OVER the laundry on the basement stairs to go play video games… He didn’t see it there
- Hubby walks in and out, of our front door EVERY day but didn’t see the huge overgrown weed coming through our walkway
- Hubby opens the new blinds I put on the window, but when I ask if he likes them, he says… “hmmm…they’re new?”
- Hubby plays a full day with our nephew and when I say later… “did you see that he lost his first tooth”… Hubby says… “he did?”
Needless to say…
- Hubby knows when a new video game store is opening (long before I do)
- He knows within seconds if the Giants have made a trade
- He knows if I’ve touched the remotes in his Man Cave
- He knows that Bob across the street was just delivered a new HD TV (and we don’t even talk to Bob)
So, I know he has the ABILITY to see small details, and to notice things around him. It seems that he’s just decided that any extraneous information may clutter his brain. Apparently his life is far easier if he relies on me as his source of detailed information. This way, he can ask about things he’s interested in and he can ignore EVERYTHING else.
The biggest challenge with this strategy is this….
If you admittedly don’t see things around you and, therefore, I need to bring stuff to your attention for you to see it…. You cannot call it nagging!
I’m just providing you with information that you were not otherwise taking in (you should probably thank me!)…
If A (hubby) + B (information) = C (knowledge)
And C (knowledge) does not = D (nagging)
Then A (hubby) + B (information) cannot = D (nagging)
So, as you can see, there really are flaws in his logic… And, I have conclusively demonstrated that there is no way I am a nag!
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