Man Rule: If it isn’t the biggest…. it can’t be the best …. Right??
My TV post earlier this week got me thinking about this bigger is better theory. This is one particular Man Rule that creeps up on me sometimes, even when I least expect it.
You see, I don’t feel the need to have the biggest anything. Small things can still be fantastic and I generally prefer performance & quality over size. (this post is starting to sound sexual…. It’s not meant to be… although I suppose this could be the first Woman Rule since some of the same principles do indeed apply!)
Men always want women to say that size doesn’t matter but in actuality, it matters tremendously…… to THEM!
In a man’s mind, size is a physical display of manliness (get your mind out of the gutter!). It’s a way to illustrate your success, or dominance to the outside world. Size comparisons also breed competition, which is a cornerstone of the male psyche.
Vinnie’s TV was an example of how size gives you bragging rights when you’re a man. We all know how important competition and bragging rights can be to a fragile male ego…
Some examples of male “competition”:
- My team is better than your team
- I can grow a better beard than you can
- I can eat more hot dogs than you can
- I’m the Guitar Hero Champion
- I can toss this wedding ring into that cup more times than you can
Most of those examples are performance based competitions BUT…
When a man sees that he can “win” the competition by way of a physical object instead of actual effort, well…. you can guess which route he takes!
Hubby illustrates this behavior quite regularly. Most recently with Electronics Envy, not long ago with our new fridge purchase (in case you missed the post — hubby insisted we buy biggest/coolest fridge on the block). And even more recently with our pumpkins. Yes, I did say pumpkins (I told you this man rule creeps up on me sometimes!).
Every year we take our nephews out to pick & carve pumpkins. Hubby likes to egg them on when they chose what he considers to be pumpkins that are too “puny” (keep in mind these kids are 4 & 6 yrs old, so” puny” pumpkins to hubby is certainly a decent size for the kids).
Anyhow this year, as we’re perusing the pumpkin selection, hubby is drawn to the biggest pumpkin there. This is a pumpkin that I might refer to as “too big”, but hubby refers to as “perfect”. He bullies the kids into selecting it. Ok, maybe bully is too strong a word. Other choices might be: Coaxing the kids? Applying to their young male egos? Training them early on the “bigger is better” man rule? Whatever you want to call it, we wind up buying this ridiculously big pumpkin. He’s so proud of his selection that he actually wants me to “carry it” for a minute to see how heavy it is. This is his effort at covert bragging… in his head he’s saying… “see, my pumpkin is bigger & better than yours”. Needless to say I don’t play along.
Pumpkins get loaded into the car and we carve them with the kids at home. All the while hubby is still training the nephews….
“See how my pumpkin is bigger than Aunt Shell’s?”
“Whose pumpkin do you like better… mine or Aunt Shell’s?”
“Isn’t the big pumpkin cool?”
“Aren’t you glad we picked out the biggest & best pumpkin?”
It’s hardcore little boy training at it’s best. The kids are initially resistant but they soon seem to realize that the BIGGER pumpkin is obviously the BETTER pumpkin. Hubby glows with joy & pride.
How does this story end?
Well, our pumpkins are happily displayed on our stoop…. hubby’s large pumpkin dwarfing my “puny” pumpkin. It would seem that hubby has indeed won two competitions. The one against me that I wasn’t really playing in the first place. And the imaginary one he’s playing against the neighbors now that his HUGE pumpkin is on display for the entire world to see. He is obviously taunting Vinnie…. who may indeed have the bigger TV, but obviously hubby has the better pumpkin.
And… all I can do is shake my head……………