I can remember when hubby used to leave me cute little notes… they used words like amazing, magical, wonderful. They came via post-its hidden in my work calendar or maybe via a mid-day text message.
It was always a tiny gesture but, to me… it was awesome. Just goes to show that a tiny bit of effort really can go a long way. What hubby didn’t realize was that one of these notes could often replace say….. cleaning up the sink after he shaves. This trick might only work on occasion, but, assuming I’m having a good day, a cute romantic gesture (one that only takes him a second) could stop me from grumbling as I clean up the crumbs he left on the counter.
The more cute gestures, the less irritated I’d be at his little housekeeping transgressions. This of course is a fine line, that most men have not learned to walk. It’s a balancing act that requires the utmost of thought and care. Because: It does NOT mean you can buy me a card and expect me to excuse the fact that you never lift a finger in the house. SO MEN — just for the record, that’s not how this works…
After all, ladies… all we really want is to feel loved & appreciated right?? Well, that and a partner who does his share of chores, and takes us out for nice dinners, and rubs our feet, and listens to us, and cooks for us and.. and, .. and……..(hehe.. ok, maybe we’re not that simple… but anyway….)
Back to Hubby.
He truly was a smart man. He learned how to make me feel great and, I think deep down, he realized that this was a good way to quell some of my frustrations. So, every few days I’d find a loving note…. Until … (insert ominous music tones here…). He lost his mind. Ok, maybe he didn’t lose his mind, but, ever-so-slowly, the notes began to change.
And as the years passed, the notes started to look more like this:
As you can see, the tenor of these notes is slightly different. He still loves me but these notes are not tucked away in cute places and there aren’t any fluffy, happy words. These notes are found in plain site, on the kitchen counter, scrawled before heading to work. And, well, they just don’t seem to have the same ring to them.
Has hubby forgotten this delicate balancing act? Does he not realize that these notes may actually have the capability of squashing some of the “nagging”? No, not all of the “nagging”… they’re not brainwashing, magical notes. But, I bet at least on that day, I’d be less apt to ask him why he can’t seem to remember to put his dirty socks into the hamper where they belong.
What’s the morale of my story today?? Well, it’s all about the power of a well timed loved note…
If this power is used for Good rather than Evil.. there would be a lot more happy, romantic couples in the world. AND MEN – you can read this as LESS NAGGING!
(Hubby…. I hope you’re reading this…. Love you!! 🙂 )
Ladies feel free to share this post with your man…maybe even subtly leave a copy around the house? Who knows what cute little expression of love you may find tucked into your purse tomorrow!
I left my wife just such a note this morning:
“Hey – take the steaks out of the fridge so they defrost. – Rod”
Who says romance is dead? Doesn’t get much mushier than meat.
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Moooooog35… I hope she was defrosting so you could cook her dinner? Or is that naive woman talk right there?? And, the mere fact that you signed your note Rod (which happens to be my hubby’s name) makes me wonder about you!
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follow the link for todays note. Love ya
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R ~ Thanks for my note babe! 🙂
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Addictive blog — nicely done.
Love notes got me out of a lot of jams, that’s for sure.
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Thanks for stopping by Chuck.. this blog is my way of helping fill up all that “unemployed time” I seem to have. I can only complain so much about unemployment in my Active Leisure blog!! I need to come over here just to laugh some days!
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Well, I’ll be damned! I think you’ve might possibly have discovered the secret to living with the opposite sex & how simple it is, really, to get along. It doesn’t actually take much, does it? Just little gestures. We’re really not shrews… we just need a little tenderness.
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Liz ~ You are right it doesn’t take much… Just a little gesture, some tenderness and a toilet with the seat down… not too much to ask for is it??
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Great Post!!
I just found your blog today and am checking out more now!!
I used to do more love notes for my wife – that’s for sure. Now that we both work out of the house, I don’t do it, or think about it as much.
I did leave a message for her on our mirror a couple weeks back! Does that count?! 😉
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Thanks for coming by Stu!
And, YES, you get great big kudos for a note message on the mirror (as long as it didn’t say something like “clean me”)!! Keep up the good work, we ladies sure do appreciate it!!
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I’ve been looking for a way to create a post-it image like that. Willing to send me an email with how or where you did that? Please and thank you. 🙂
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I suppose FUNDING dinner doesn’t count as an actual contribution towards it? Nor does “working late tonight?” Keeping you fed, clothed and housed isn’t an act of love, O unemployed one?
Do you leave love notes for him? (Do not dare to think that the blog counts, considering the ratio of sweetness to snark.) Or do you expect him to just KNOW, based on finding the sink free of beard scrapings, day after day?
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IJL ~ ohhhhh….. low blow, you went right to the unemployment. OUCH, that hurt.
I do leave him love notes… a couple of examples for you: “I love you so much, I washed all your clothes today” Or, maybe one that says “While I was cleaning up your beard scrapings, I thought of how kissable your freshly shaven face is”. What do ya think??? Do they give you the warm & fuzzies??
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My intent was not to indict you for not being employed. (For what it’s worth, my wife stays home with the kids, but there is no way that I consider her unemployed. Her contributions to the household are vital.) It was to recognize the gestures that he is making, and how big they really are, even though they have become part of the backdrop.
If it is an act of love to pencil on a Post-It and stick it on the mirror, how much greater the magnitude must be for him to haul his sorry ass out of bed, day in day out for forty-five years running, spending an hour each way on the train so he can bring home a living for you and the offspring? No, as gestures go, that one isn’t romantic, not romantic at all — and therein lies the problem.
Yeah, those were pretty good love notes. (Well, parts of them, anyway.)
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Be glad you have a husband at home that you can complain about. You really should read Dr. Laura’s book called “Stop Whining and Start Living”. Many wives wish their husbands were home to do the things you complain about. We take them for granted and then they’re gone, you’ll miss all these little things that he’s done.
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