December is a very busy month at our house. It feels like every single moment between Thanksgiving & Christmas is filled with activity. As you may have noticed, this has really screwed up my regular blogging schedule (my apologies). It has also infringed on hubby’s “downtime”.
You see, hubby values his “downtime” above anything and everything else. So, as our weekends start to fill up with chores (outdoor lights, decorating, Christmas shopping, Christmas parties) that start to conflict with enjoyment activities (video games, football, lying around in his “lounge wear”) hubby can get a bit cranky. Add to this the fact that I have declared a winner in the Calvin & Hobbes poll from the other day (as of today, I have an overwhelming 72% of the vote) and Hubby is even crankier (hehehehe.. this of course makes me giddy with joy!). He actually said to me that I stacked the vote against him. To which I replied, “how exactly did I do that when I just put it out there into the internet universe”… and he replied, “I don’t know, but I’m sure you did” (gotta love the scientific reasoning behind his accusation!).
Anyhow, our weekends, and even many weeknights, have been filled with activities…. some of them fun and some of them just simply necessary… and hubby grumbles all the while. Early in our relationship Hubby once declared to me that “Sundays are a day of rest”. And just so we are all clear on his meaning.. he’s not invoking some religious declaration, that no one should work on the day of the Lord (or whatever the mumbo jumbo is about not doing any work on Sundays) but rather a declaration that he feels he has “earned” a full day of inactivity. And, when he means rest.. he literally means rest. As in, do not, under any circumstances expect any planned chores or activities from him. And so says my hubby.
So, as you can imagine, the more our free time fills up with stuff, the less likely it is that we can allot a full day of rest on Sundays. I have even been reprimanded for doing laundry on Sunday nights because…. Wait for it.. this is a good one…..”It’s not fair”…..
Hubby says to me: “I really wish you wouldn’t do laundry on Sundays because I don’t want to have to do anything on Sundays”.
Me: “But, I don’t always have time to get it done on other days… we have been busy almost every other day”
Hubby: “But, Sunday nights should be a time where I can unwind and relax before having to go back to work.”
Me: “But, I haven’t even asked you to help”
Hubby: “No, but I have to watch you walk past with the basket”
Me: “So?”
Hubby: “And, then sometimes you fold stuff in the family room while I’m watching tv….”
Me: “So? I don’t even ask you to help me… I know the “rule” about Sundays… no work for you…”
Hubby: “Yeah, but when you do it in front of me, I feel bad”
Me: “Ok, so then help me… it’s not like it’s hard to fold while you’re watching tv”
Hubby: “That’s not the point… I don’t want to have to do anything”
Me: “So, don’t do anything .. I never asked you to help… if I choose to do laundry on Sunday nights isn’t it MY choice?”
Hubby: “Yeah, but it’s not fair”
Me: “Sorry babe but life’s not fair… it really sucks to be a grown-up doesn’t it??!!”
And there you have it. Hubby has declared “No Work On Sundays”. So, apparently I’m not allowed to do any work that might possibly make him feel bad, that he’s decided to not do any work (are you following this insane logic??). Doesn’t seem all that productive to me but, perhaps this is yet another example of the differences between men & women. Women tend to do stuff when it needs to be done and men tend to add-it-to-the-list for doing at a later time.
Imagine how much laundry would need to be done if all women everywhere “added it to the list” and declared a Cease Work Day during the week??!! I bet there’d be a lot more smelly men out there!
Oh yes, I have this conversation about every other Sunday. LOL I thought I was the only one with a husband that was completely insane!
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Kristi ~ Although it’s helpful to know I’m not the only one, it sure doesn’t help get stuff done on Sundays! Just remember I feel your pain!!
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When I came to the part about him feeling guilty while you worked around him, I wanted to scream. You summed up my feelings with this line:
Women tend to do stuff when it needs to be done and men tend to add-it-to-the-list for doing at a later time.
So true…around here anyways! Guess I should be happy(?) that my husband is perfectly relaxed when he’s in “just hanging out” mode even if I’m busy like a worker ant nearby. 😛
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Suzanne ~ I think that line sums up many of the challenges I have with my dear hubby! Oftentimes it’s a lack of agreement on timelines not a division of chores!
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Call me a bitch (you SO wouldn’t be the first one) but I totally fold the laundry in front of my husband BECAUSE it makes him feel guilty and THEN he helps. I find it even more effective than promising sexual favors. Cause if it’s a “do nothing” Sunday…
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Ok.. you are a bitch BUT, you are a smart bitch so it’s all good! And, your methods are working, You shouldn’t change a thing!!!! 🙂
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My hubby helps out with housework & cooking when he feels like it. He has no problem relaxing while I’m cooking or doing some housework. When I’m bringing in the groceries he’ll holler from the couch…”Do you need any help honey?” If I really want his help I say so, if it’s just a few bags I just deal with it myself. Does he help put the groceries away – no.
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9 years later. Are you still married to this man? I hope not.
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