A typical conversation in my house (you can insert any item you’d like into this conversation)
Hubby: “I looked everywhere, it’s gone”
Me: “You looked everywhere….. hmmm??”
Hubby: “Yes, I just spent the last 10 minutes looking for it, and it’s not there”
Me: “Did you look in the closet?”
Me: “Did you look in the cubby in the garage?”
Hubby: “Yes, I even picked up the stuff and checked behind it”
Me: “Are you sure you really looked?”
Hubby: “Yes, it’s gone”
Me: “So, if I were to get up right now and look in the closet, it wouldn’t be there”
Hubby: “No way… “
Me: “So, if I did happen to find it, how much will you give me?”
Hubby: “I’m not giving you anything… it’s not there”
Me: “Ok, $5.00 if I find it”
I stop whatever I’m doing, walk upstairs, open the closet, grab the item he cannot find that’s sitting on the shelf staring at me, calling my name, practically jumping into my hands…
I walk downstairs.
I hand him the “missing” item.
Me: “That’ll be $5.00 please”
Hubby: “Where did you find that?”
Me: “In the closet, right where you left it”
Hubby: “Humpf… I looked there”
Me: “I know honey…”
By my calculations, hubby probably owes me about $1835 for locating lost items (but who’s counting?)
I have deemed hubby to be the worst “looker-forer” (that’s my own terminology) that I’ve ever met. However, I’ve come to find that this seems to be yet another widespread male trait. Why is it that men cannot find anything at all around the house? Without fail, he looks forever for something and finally gives up and I find the missing item in probably less than a minute. And, mind you, these are not items I have put away.. they are his items… tools, clothes, electronics etc.
Our most recent example of this came via a housewide search for a missing cable modem. This was a brand new, $100 item that was actually supposed to be returned. I should probably also mention that this was an item that hubby purchased, hubby handled and hubby lost. I never touched or even saw this new modem. So, hubby decides he’s going to make the trip to Best Buy to make the return only… he can’t find it. He looks furiously around the house for a L-O-N-G time. Then, with his head bowed down, he comes to see me in the family room to declare that, not only can he not find it but, he vaguely remembers throwing it away. I did mention that this was brand new (in the box) right?? So, I say to hubby “well, I don’t know what to tell you about this one. I had nothing to do with it, and now you’re telling me that you think you threw it out… I cannot magically find this one.. no matter how much money you’re willing to give me!” Hubby says… “well, I guess that’s $100 down the drain…”
(little does he know that he could have paid me $20 and I would have gladly put it somewhere for safe keeping AND he still would have netted an $80 return)
So, for the life of me, I cannot figure out why it’s so difficult for men to keep track of stuff, to put stuff where it belongs and to later find these very same items. I may never, ever understand this!
And….. as for the missing cable modem…. We did indeed find it, in a random bag, in a random closet about 3 days later…… And, it’s still a big mystery about how it could have found it’s way there… hmmmmmmmm….??!!