Let me take you back in time a bit…. Close your eyes my dear blog readers (oh wait.. don’t do that – you won’t be able to read) and I’ll take you on a journey back to the early days with hubby.
It’s Christmas morning.. the lights are twinkling on the tree. There’s colored paper strewn about the room as children scurry around with their new toys. There’s merry laughter and smiles as the adults begin to exchange their gifts.
Hubby’s stack of presents sits in front of him… a large mountain of boxes & ribbons all teetering as they sit precariously perched upon a large, oddly shaped box.
Hubby’s giddy (as any child is on Christmas morning) and he eyes the stack of presents hungrily, as he sits on the edge of his chair. He’s anxiously awaiting the subtle sign from the other adults that it’s time to dive into his loot. And then, someone suggests to hubby that he open one of his gifts. As he removes the paper from his first box, you can see his smiling eyes.
You see, it’s our first Christmas as a married couple and my family has welcomed hubby with open arms… arms that happened to be overflowing with presents on this holiday morning.
As hubby makes his way through his gifts toward the larger box on the bottom, you can see his excitement building. Then, as he unwraps this signature big gift (remember Bigger is Always Better), his eyes stop smiling as confusion begin to seep in. He turns the gift over. He smiles. He turns it back over. He says thank you. But, I can tell that the smile is gone from his eyes and he’s suffering from that moment of realization that every man must face at some point in his life. The moment gift receiving becomes less fun…. The moment he realizes that he may not be running around the room with a new toy. Yes, it’s that scary moment in every man’s life when he vividly realizes….. He Has Become An Adult…...
And this scary, overwhelming moment, came courtesy of my parents as they gave him a wonderful set of tools as a Christmas present.
It wasn’t necessarily marriage that scared hubby… it was realizing that although I’d been getting home items and decorations as gifts for years, he was now on a path where he’d have to sacrifice fun toys & games as gifts and watch silently as they were replaced with practical household tools… drills, ratchet sets, car jacks and so on. I have to admit, I giggled a little, but it was truly a momentous day!
Interestingly enough, I did indeed see this scenario repeat itself as recently as this year.. when we gave hubby’s brother,who just bought himself his 1st home… – yes, you guessed it – a brand new set of tools for Christmas. The only difference this time was the fact that hubby insisted we ALSO give his brother an automatic nerf air gun. But even if we did try to soften the blow for hubby’s brother… the torch to adulthood was passed on to the next generation…
I posted last week about the interesting gift giving trend that creates a distinct difference between an acceptable gift for a man vs a gift for a woman.
I mentioned that a gift for a woman could be for her house or maybe for her family or even, quite possibly, to make cleaning easier. This general bucket of gifts for women might be described as gifts that would somehow improve the household, while a gift for a man is almost always a gift for him and him alone.
Now I know that many people might argue that a gift of tools.. which would ordinarily be for a man, would actually be a gift for the home… not for the man.
And, after reflecting back to the early days of my relationship with hubby, I’d actually have to agree.
A gift of tools for a man borders on a gift of a vacuum cleaner for a woman (this of course doesn’t include an amazing Dyson – because, as you know, we BOTH get excited about that!)
Although, I’m fairly certain that men (once they’ve accepted this tiny step towards adulthood) can indeed get excited about a new lawn mower and/or a new power drill.. cause gadgets & electronics & machines are just… well…. cool! That is of course, as long as they’re accompanied by a remote control helicopter or perhaps a new video game.
I suppose the life lesson here is that perhaps everything in life truly is all about balance! Well, that and making sure you give your man some sort of manly toy to keep his eyes smiling on Christmas morning! I promise you… it helps to ensure a happy marriage 🙂
My techinque is to mock aggressively ask for a household item that I actually need/want and end up with a good version of that item brought as a gift, as opposed to buying something cheap to replace it and getting more damn socks as a present.
http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/2010/04/i-got-my-birthday-wish.html
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Nicely told “story” and with truths apparent. In working with my clients I always suggest that gifts be more personal …
http://www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com
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