“I was almost late.. thanks to a moron!”

Well, it’s been a crazy week.  Some days I feel like I do nothing but run around and I don’t have a minute of downtime and then I have nothing to show for it but a blogless week!

 

I’m sure you know the kind of week I’m talking about.  The challenge for me seems to be that every week so far this summer, has been overflowing with activities:  extra work, grocery shopping for weekend bbqs, buying birthday presents (cause you know hubby doesn’t do this task..), giving the dog a bath.. I could go on and on.

 

Hubby, while he’s had a busy week at work, has had time to go to the gym, play video games, watch movies and read his Nook.  All-in-all, I guess it was pretty much just a regular week around here for him. 🙂

 

I guess there’s one thing that’s affected us both recently, although I wouldn’t necessarily say evenly.  This is one of those things that hubby awfulizes. However to me, his comments provide pure comedy. Simply because….from where I’m standing, the insanity of his complaint is just ludicrous.

 

Let me start by saying, if you didn’t already know, we live on the Jersey Shore.  Now, I hesitate to write that because I’m sure, for some of you, that conjures up images of Snooki & “The Situation” and you’re cringing now wondering how big the bump is in my hair.  I can assure you that any person who is native to the Jersey Shore, wants to scream from the rafters “We do not look or behave like that here!” or “None of those bozos on MTV are even from NJ!”.  I get it, NJ has always had a bad rap throughout the country.  I’ve heard it all… “You’s guys”.  “The Armpit of America”.   “Big, teased hair”.   I get it.  NJ is the butt of many, many jokes.  There are so many new shows that have done such a wonderful job to portray us as meathead, crazy-ass lunatics, that I’ve lost count.  For those of us who live here all year, we dread the summer when those people come down the Parkway in droves to invade our towns and beaches with their stereotypical (and horrifying) “Jersey” behavior.  If I were to tell you that those people are such a miniscule fraction of the people who are actually in NJ, you may not believe me.  But, for whatever it’s worth, BELIEVE IT, DAMN IT!… or I’ll have to go all Tony Soprano on your ass.  Ok, wow, I really got off on a tangent there, but I guess I get a little fired up about all that ‘GTL’ business.  Anyway, I have to go now.. I’m late for a tanning appointment. 😉

 

Anyhoo….the reason I bring this all up is because the one thing that’s a guarantee in NJ, on a regular basis, is traffic.  And, the other guarantee is that, if you live at the Jersey Shore, the traffic during the summer worsens about tenfold.

 

It’s at this point that I should tell you a bit about myself that you also may not know.  I work a field based job.  So, I’m either on the road driving all over the state, or I’m at our regional office which (on a good day) is over an hour from my house.  Let me say that again.  There’s almost no day ever where my starting point is closer than 1 hour from where I live.  Now, as you may imagine, when you start to factor in NJ traffic this hour can easily swing closer to 2 hours.  AND, when you factor in summer shore traffic, well…. let’s just say, that I’ve learned to always allow for extra driving time and I’ve become quite adept at conducting life from my car.

 

Now, you may wonder how my dear hubby fares with all this traffic?  Well, let me tell you a bit about hubby to properly set the stage.

 

Hubby has had the same job for the past 10 years.  This job is 4.5 miles from where we live (I Google mapped it so he couldn’t suggest that I’m making this up).  The route he takes to get to work is 100% on back roads and it incorporates exactly 7 turns – this INCLUDES the turn out of our driveway AND the turn into his office parking lot.  This trip, on average, takes him 8-10 minutes.  Did I mention it’s 4.5 miles away? 

 

So imagine my surprise when we have the following conversation.

This is on an evening when I arrive home at 7:30 at night after driving for 2 hours in the summer traffic.

 

Hubby:  “I got behind a total moron on the way to work today”

Me: “Uh huh…”

Hubby: “You wouldn’t believe it…. I had to follow him all the way down Hope Rd and he was only doing 25 mph!!!”

Me: “Ok”

Hubby: “It took me forever to get to work.”

Me: “You do realize that I commute, in traffic, on the parkway, with morons every single day… right?”

Hubby: “Yes”

Me: “So, it took you a long time to get to work today huh??”

Hubby: “Yes, it was ridiculous”

Me: “So, your normal drive is what.. less than 10 minutes.. right?”

Hubby: “About that…”

Me: “And, how long did it take you today..”

Hubby: imagine exasperated drama in his tone.. “It took me almost 15 minutes!”

Me:  “Are you sure you really want to have this conversation with me?”

Hubby: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Nothing”

Hubby: “Ok… so anyway,.  They should revoke people’s licenses who drive like that.  It was a horrible way to start my day”

Me: “Yes honey, I know……”

 

So there you have it.  Hubby had an awful day because it took him an extra 5 minutes to get to work.  I don’t have any idea how he survived!  I’m certainly not comparing our jobs but good lord, if I let all that driving & traffic get to me the way he does I’d be one miserable, cranky, bitch….

Oh wait…. Maybe………..Nah…….. 

I’m a cranky bitch for completely different reasons!  🙂