Well, hubby survived our yard sale… however, if you were to ask him about it you’d hear comments like this..
“It was painful”
“It was a waste of our time”
“It ruined my Saturday”
Let me share some highlights with you.
The alarm goes off at 6:30am. I’m not sure why serious yard salers start so early. Personally I would never, ever wake up at the crack of dawn on a weekend to drive around and look at other people’s crap. But, I know that the seasoned yard sales shoppers will indeed be out and about pretty dang early.
It’s at this time that I should mention a few things:
- Hubby & I are not really morning people. We like to sleep in if possible. And, even on a weekday, hubby doesn’t get out of bed for work until about 8:15am (remember, he only works about 8 minutes from our house – without factoring in morons!). So, the mere mention of getting up at 6:30 on a Saturday was torturous to him.
- Hubby believes weekends are a time for relaxing.. not a time for working. It’s sort of an interesting challenge for me since weekday evenings are apparently also a time for resting (you know, he needs to unwind after coming home from work). So, you might ask..”Well, when do you guys get anything done?” And, I’d have to answer…. Hmmmmm… “Good question!”
- Hubby takes a while to get out of bed (probably to the tune of 3 or 4 alarm snoozes) AND, he takes a while to get going once he does get up. And, I’ve only given us about an hour to get everything into our driveway (the yard sale was planned to start at 7:30am).
So, the alarm rings, I get up, get dressed and head downstairs. I start the coffee pot and grab the car keys to start moving cars out of the driveway. Hubby is still peacefully slumbering. I walk outside and I immediately see our neighbor Vinny (yes, the infamous neighbor who left his family at the store to bring home his new tv!! You can read about this HERE). Did I mention that our neighbors are going to yard sale with us? Anyhow, Vinny & I chat and he starts carrying stuff over to our driveway.
As we’re both setting up tables & lugging stuff into the driveway, he asks about hubby… I reply “yes, he’s still sleeping”. We continue to set up and I start making trips inside to bring out sale items and I can hear the shower running. GOOD SIGN – YEAH!! Hubby is up and he’s showering. By the time I have virtually everything out of our garage, hubby shows up. He tells us that he’s brought up all the big/heavy items from the basement and set them in our foyer to bring outside. Good save hubby, trying to portray that you’ve actually been working this entire time! But then I remember, he did tell me that he’s “the muscles behind this yard sale” and I probably shouldn’t have expected anything additional!
SIDEBAR: the friggin’ early birds start showing up at oh, about 6:45am. Precisely the time I’ve unfolded one table and carried out an old foot massager. I politely say, we’re not even close to being ready (not that it’s obvious at all… I mean, I suppose it could be likely that I’m having an outdoor foot massager sale today..) And then I get a barrage of questions about items he’s looking for. Look, I know that some people take their yard saling seriously. But good lord dude.. .can’t you give me another 20 minutes to actually take the crap out of my house before you start shopping?
Anyway, eventually we’re all set up and we’re all outside and people start shopping. I’ve tried really hard to tag almost everything with a starting price. Many prices are completely flexible (is it a purging yard sale after all) but some prices are relatively firm (these are items that are brand new, in the box, that I know I can sell on eBay and probably make some decent money). No hubby, this doesn’t require any additional work from you. I will manage the entire eBay process myself! So…. let the haggling begin!
A woman brings a pile of stuff over to me. “How much for all this?”. I quickly look over the tags and based on what I’ve written it’s probably $10 worth of stuff. So, since I’m good at math, I say “How about $5.00”. She says to me “$3.00?”. I say.. “No, $5.00”. She says… “ok, $3.00 for everything?”. I say no….. “$5.00, everything is marked much higher than this”. My neighbor is standing next to me at this time, and the woman is also holding an item she’s selling (it’s marked $3.00). So, the woman adds it to her pile and says… “So, $3.00 for all of this?”. She’s just ADDED to her pile and she’s still stuck on $3.00”. So, I say to her.. “NO, it’s $5.00 for this pile” and I pick up my neighbor’s item and I say “and this is separate”. So she replies… “$3.00 for everything?”. HOLY CRAP LADY…. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??? And, it’s at this moment that I’m wondering if I’m being punked. So, I say to her .. “NO!! $20,00 for everything in this pile”. Yes, the price just went up. Ok in reality, the price didn’t go up at all but, in my head it did…. and I just wanted to tell this woman to get the hell off my driveway! Needless to say, I stuck to my guns and she paid $5.00 for her pile. (This is probably part of the reason why hubby hates yard sales…)
Down the end of the driveway, there’s another item that I have marked at $50.00. It’s brand spanking new. Another shopper asks hubby.. “How much would you take for this?” He replies, “Ummmmm, how about $10”. WHAT??? I’m pretty far away and I think I must have misheard. So, I ask my neighbor, “He didn’t just say $10.00 for that did he?”. She says.. “actually I think he did”. I’m beside myself… I say to her, “Who goes from $50 immediately down to $10? What’s wrong with him?” And, the next thing I know, he’s sold this item for $10 bucks!
So, I pull him aside. “Babe, what are you doing? Did you just sell that for $10?” “Yep” he replies. “Honey, I know it’s a yard sale and people are going to haggle but haggling doesn’t mean that you drop the price 80% right off the bat for them. They didn’t even make you an offer and immediately went below half of what the tag said… that’s crazy!” Hubby’s response.. ”Yeah but, what your forgetting is that you & I have very different priorities for this yard sale. You want to make money, and I just want to get rid of all this crap so I don’t have to carry any of it back into the house!!”. I’m frustrated and my neighbors are now pretending they can’t hear us. “So, let me get this straight, there’s no way to have a happy medium where we get rid of things and maximize the money we receive??”. Hubby, always the compromiser, says…. “Nope, I just want it all gone!”.
And this is the point in the day where I told him…. “You are no longer allowed to speak to customers……….” (which is probably exactly what he wanted all along!)