Well, hubby survived our yard sale… however, if you were to ask him about it you’d hear comments like this..
“It was painful”
“It was a waste of our time”
“It ruined my Saturday”
Let me share some highlights with you.
The alarm goes off at 6:30am. I’m not sure why serious yard salers start so early. Personally I would never, ever wake up at the crack of dawn on a weekend to drive around and look at other people’s crap. But, I know that the seasoned yard sales shoppers will indeed be out and about pretty dang early.
It’s at this time that I should mention a few things:
- Hubby & I are not really morning people. We like to sleep in if possible. And, even on a weekday, hubby doesn’t get out of bed for work until about 8:15am (remember, he only works about 8 minutes from our house – without factoring in morons!). So, the mere mention of getting up at 6:30 on a Saturday was torturous to him.
- Hubby believes weekends are a time for relaxing.. not a time for working. It’s sort of an interesting challenge for me since weekday evenings are apparently also a time for resting (you know, he needs to unwind after coming home from work). So, you might ask..”Well, when do you guys get anything done?” And, I’d have to answer…. Hmmmmm… “Good question!”
- Hubby takes a while to get out of bed (probably to the tune of 3 or 4 alarm snoozes) AND, he takes a while to get going once he does get up. And, I’ve only given us about an hour to get everything into our driveway (the yard sale was planned to start at 7:30am).
So, the alarm rings, I get up, get dressed and head downstairs. I start the coffee pot and grab the car keys to start moving cars out of the driveway. Hubby is still peacefully slumbering. I walk outside and I immediately see our neighbor Vinny (yes, the infamous neighbor who left his family at the store to bring home his new tv!! You can read about this HERE). Did I mention that our neighbors are going to yard sale with us? Anyhow, Vinny & I chat and he starts carrying stuff over to our driveway.
As we’re both setting up tables & lugging stuff into the driveway, he asks about hubby… I reply “yes, he’s still sleeping”. We continue to set up and I start making trips inside to bring out sale items and I can hear the shower running. GOOD SIGN – YEAH!! Hubby is up and he’s showering. By the time I have virtually everything out of our garage, hubby shows up. He tells us that he’s brought up all the big/heavy items from the basement and set them in our foyer to bring outside. Good save hubby, trying to portray that you’ve actually been working this entire time! But then I remember, he did tell me that he’s “the muscles behind this yard sale” and I probably shouldn’t have expected anything additional!
SIDEBAR: the friggin’ early birds start showing up at oh, about 6:45am. Precisely the time I’ve unfolded one table and carried out an old foot massager. I politely say, we’re not even close to being ready (not that it’s obvious at all… I mean, I suppose it could be likely that I’m having an outdoor foot massager sale today..) And then I get a barrage of questions about items he’s looking for. Look, I know that some people take their yard saling seriously. But good lord dude.. .can’t you give me another 20 minutes to actually take the crap out of my house before you start shopping?
Anyway, eventually we’re all set up and we’re all outside and people start shopping. I’ve tried really hard to tag almost everything with a starting price. Many prices are completely flexible (is it a purging yard sale after all) but some prices are relatively firm (these are items that are brand new, in the box, that I know I can sell on eBay and probably make some decent money). No hubby, this doesn’t require any additional work from you. I will manage the entire eBay process myself! So…. let the haggling begin!
A woman brings a pile of stuff over to me. “How much for all this?”. I quickly look over the tags and based on what I’ve written it’s probably $10 worth of stuff. So, since I’m good at math, I say “How about $5.00”. She says to me “$3.00?”. I say.. “No, $5.00”. She says… “ok, $3.00 for everything?”. I say no….. “$5.00, everything is marked much higher than this”. My neighbor is standing next to me at this time, and the woman is also holding an item she’s selling (it’s marked $3.00). So, the woman adds it to her pile and says… “So, $3.00 for all of this?”. She’s just ADDED to her pile and she’s still stuck on $3.00”. So, I say to her.. “NO, it’s $5.00 for this pile” and I pick up my neighbor’s item and I say “and this is separate”. So she replies… “$3.00 for everything?”. HOLY CRAP LADY…. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??? And, it’s at this moment that I’m wondering if I’m being punked. So, I say to her .. “NO!! $20,00 for everything in this pile”. Yes, the price just went up. Ok in reality, the price didn’t go up at all but, in my head it did…. and I just wanted to tell this woman to get the hell off my driveway! Needless to say, I stuck to my guns and she paid $5.00 for her pile. (This is probably part of the reason why hubby hates yard sales…)
Down the end of the driveway, there’s another item that I have marked at $50.00. It’s brand spanking new. Another shopper asks hubby.. “How much would you take for this?” He replies, “Ummmmm, how about $10”. WHAT??? I’m pretty far away and I think I must have misheard. So, I ask my neighbor, “He didn’t just say $10.00 for that did he?”. She says.. “actually I think he did”. I’m beside myself… I say to her, “Who goes from $50 immediately down to $10? What’s wrong with him?” And, the next thing I know, he’s sold this item for $10 bucks!
So, I pull him aside. “Babe, what are you doing? Did you just sell that for $10?” “Yep” he replies. “Honey, I know it’s a yard sale and people are going to haggle but haggling doesn’t mean that you drop the price 80% right off the bat for them. They didn’t even make you an offer and immediately went below half of what the tag said… that’s crazy!” Hubby’s response.. ”Yeah but, what your forgetting is that you & I have very different priorities for this yard sale. You want to make money, and I just want to get rid of all this crap so I don’t have to carry any of it back into the house!!”. I’m frustrated and my neighbors are now pretending they can’t hear us. “So, let me get this straight, there’s no way to have a happy medium where we get rid of things and maximize the money we receive??”. Hubby, always the compromiser, says…. “Nope, I just want it all gone!”.
And this is the point in the day where I told him…. “You are no longer allowed to speak to customers……….” (which is probably exactly what he wanted all along!)
I cannot express to you adequately just how happy I am to have found your blog! With each and every post, you bring delight to my heart…. and you ease my mind too. You are giving voice to the women who are dealing with husbands! Thank you thank you thank you! And tell hubby that I do love his shenanigans but he should listen to you more (got a plug in for you)
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Sherri ~ Wow, that’s truly one of the nicest comments I’ve ever received. Thank you so much, you’ve made my day 🙂
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Your husband is “smart like a fox” as Bill Cosby use to say about how husbands get out of stuff…yep, smart like a fox!
(examples to be found in his Bill Cosby Himself dvd) *g*
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Sheree ~ I LOVE Bill Cosby and I’ve seen him perform a number of times. That’s honestly one of my favorite bits, I can so relate to his marriage/family comedy!!
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This is too funny, if it was me I would have told Hubby to go back inside and let me handle the rest……
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Deanna ~ I can’t let him off the hook that easily. He must still suffer with me out in the humidity …he’s just not allowed to speak. This way I still win 😉 LOL!
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AAAAAAARGH!
I would have kicked my Fluffy Bear in the shin, hard.
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IBC ~ you are a girl after my own heart!
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See I guess I am going to be the only one on the Hubby’s side again. Who is going to have to stuff boxes and move everything back after its over. SELL SELL SELL…EVERYTHING MUST GO. As for the $3.00 woman I would have smacked her silly, or let Tracy do it.
You are so damn funny, I am not sure your husband doesnt do this stuff on purpose just to get you to be even more funny.
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Scott ~ Can’t say I’m surprised that you’re taking hubby’s side again… someone has to! But, you don’t even realize how correct you about hubby’s “spotlight syndrome”. Check out this older post about hubby offering me “blog-worthy” material!
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Oh my goodness, your husband sounds like my husband. We have had many yard sales in the past and he practically wants to give the things away.
This is our last yard sale:
http://flyinggigglesandlollipops.blogspot.com/2010/03/take-what-you-want-pay-what-you-want.html
And it worked very well. We ended up making more than we usually do. I think we confused people with the name your own price!
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Michelle ~ I read your post and what a great idea! I bet it took a lot of “pressure” off you for the sale!
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Hilarious!!! Hope you made some decent money at least! 😉
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Thanks Mandy ~ unfortunately, it was a bit of a rainy day so, I actually may have to subject us to another one. Since there are still piles of crap that got stowed away in the garage after the sale!
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Thoroughly enjoyed this post! Funny stuff about those early birds, I would have never believed it if I had not had my own yard sale many years ago….people told me that early birds would arrive and much to my disbelief they were correct. I am looking forward to exploring your website further.
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ZippyChix ~ I wouldn’t believe if it I didn’t see it myself. Many years ago I had another yard sale & I posted an ad the day before on Craigslist. I swear to you, the night before the sale someone actually knocked on my front door and asked to “preview” the stuff I was going to put out. The nerve of some people!!
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Aren’t you the one who started this project with the goal of emptying the house of all the extraneous crap? Hubby took you at your word. Everything must go! (Kidding. I’m guessing that 50 bucks was already 75% off retail for a brand new item.)
I suspect that the early birds are flea-market resellers, which would also explain the ridiculous low-ball offers.
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I J L ~ Yes, I am the one who suggested we rid ourselves of crap. But, I have to be honest and I like money far more than purging 🙂
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Ahhhhh, I love this.
Okay, first things first: what is wrong with that woman who kept insisting that everything was $3. I understand haggling and have done it myself on quite a few occasions, but to add stuff to a pile and then keep the price tag the same (or lower, as you insisted it was $5 initially) is just beyond clueless. I wonder if that tactic has ever worked for her?
Also, you should have just told hubby to help with the heavy lifting. At least his intentions were good–you do want to rid yourselves of the stuff you no longer need but clearly you’re the one with the better business sense 😉
Stopping by from Lady Bloggers tea party–I shall return!
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Charlotte ~ Thanks for stopping by. That woman was honestly nuts! I’ve never wanted to tell someone to leave as much as I wanted to say it to her! My neighbor & I laughed about her the rest of the afternoon!
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Stopping by from Lady Bloggers tea party. What a wonderful blog you have. You garage sale adventure sounds similar to the one I had with my hubby. From now on I am going to make sure he is either working or out of town when I have a garage sale! 🙂 Great job.
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Carol ~ You are a better woman than I am. I just can’t let hubby off the hook. It’s a battle I seem to have with myself… wanting him to be an active participant but knowing that sometimes it’s better if he’s not there!
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Hey, I’m stopping over from the Lady Bloggers’ Tea Party.
This is such a great story, I love it! I’ve been to a few garage sales, but never held one, and now I’m not sure I ever will. On the plus side, at least your husband is willing to get rid of crap!
Looking forward to reading more of your great writing!
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M. ~ Thanks for the visit. Every time I have one I tell myself never again, then once I see years of junk piling up again I can only remember the money we made and I’ve conveniently forgotten all that bad stuff!
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Visiting from Lady Bloggers Tea Party. Loved this post. I truly LOL’d! I think that same $3-for-everything-lady has been to my garage sales a time or two. What is it with those people?! I don’t even haggle like that until much later in the day, certainly not before I’m fully open for the sale! Sheesh.
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Tina ~ I’m always honestly shocked at how little people want to pay for perfect condition items at yard sales. I mean I expect stuff to sell for a tiny fraction of what it’s worth but geez….. know the value of something before you offer me $1.00 for it!
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haha… my hubby sucks at haggling too. Loved to hear about your garage sale… reminds me why I won’t have one! Too much work!!! Anywhoo, visiting from Lady Bloggers and look forward to reading more! 🙂
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Refried Dreamer ~ Hubby won’t haggle for anything!! Even when we are shopping for something, when it comes to haggling he tells the sales person, ok now you should talk to “the boss”!
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Oh my – I actually laughed out loud reading this post! I came here from the Lady Bloggers Society Tea Party, and for once I picked two awesome blogs right off the bat! I totally relate to this post, having been through quite a few community yard sales with my parents. Did the woman who wanted everything for $3 speak English?!? We deal with that a lot at our yard sales, but it’s mainly because most of the people that come are mostly if not solely Spanish speaking, so they really don’t always understand us. But wow, it went on that long with that lady? I LOVED reading this post, and will definitely come back for more reading! 🙂
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Steph ~ The woman who wanted everything for $3.00 was indeed foreign (not Spanish speaking, but foreign). Perhaps it’s ok to haggle like that based on her culture? I have no idea if it was a language barrier or if it was some sick joke to see how long she could push me before I broke!
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Thanks for stopping by my blog! While I am an avid tag sale shopper, I don’t have the patience to have my own! I’ve seen too much!
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Oh my too funny! Nope, Scott, hubby does not get off the hook. Oh and shall I remind you, she did say SHE lugged everything outside.
Personally, I think I would have handed hubby some duct tape and told him to shut it! lol j/k (well sorta)
Hope you made a good haul none-the-less.
Peace…NM
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