Hubby & I wrote our own wedding vows. They were truly heartfelt expressions of love.
They included statements like:
- When you fall, I will catch you…
- When you laugh, I will share your joy…
- When you cry I will comfort you…
- I will honor, encourage & support you…
BUT…. Please note that, at no time, did I ever promise to love him during sickness..
And thank god because that would have been a lie!
I think I’ve mentioned that the past 2 weeks have been crazy busy for me at work. I’ve been prepping for a huge executive team meeting that was scheduled for yesterday (ahhhhhhhhhh… that’s me finally exhaling after an incredibly long 2 weeks). As you may also know, hubby enjoyed his staycation during this exact same timeframe. Talk about not being in synch. Hubby was relaxing & I was working extra hours.
But, what you don’t know about hubby’s staycation was that it actually began with hubby not feeling well. It all started on the weekend with some congestion and some interrupted sleep but by Monday of his “no work” staycation he was approaching a full fledged sinus infection. Now, don’t get me wrong… I’m filled with sympathy for him. I wouldn’t wish sickness on anyone much less on someone who is on vacation. BUT, hubby is one of those men (and I’m sure you personally know one.. even if you’re not married to one…) who likes to whine about his symptoms but not really take any action.
Here’s a typical conversation with hubby.
Hubby: “I think I’m getting sick”
Me: “That sucks… what’s wrong?”
Hubby: “Well, I’m all stuffed up & I don’t feel that great”
Me: “What have you taken?”
Hubby: “Nothing”
Me: “Why don’t you take some Vitamin C” (contrary to all the arguments against it’s effectiveness, I’m on board with heavy doses of vitamin C when you start to feel sick. And, let’s be honest, even if I’m completely wrong.. it sure doesn’t hurt anyone!)
Hubby: “Vitamin C doesn’t work”
Me: “Ok, then don’t take any..”
Hubby: “My head hurts too”
Me: “When did this start?”
Hubby: “A little over a day ago”
Me: “And, you haven’t taken anything at all?” (I’m not suggesting a Dr visit – god forbid – just inquiring about a basic over-the-counter remedy)
Hubby: “No”
Me: “Then, why don’t you take something? I’m sure there’s some OTC stuff in the cabinet”
Hubby: “I don’t know”
Me: “You’d rather complain & suffer than take any medicine??”
Hubby: “No…..”
Me: “Well then, I’m not sure what it is that you want me to do…..”
Just for the record: We have the equivalent of a pharmacy in one of our cabinets. It’s filled with vitamins, minerals, stuff for colds, flu, cough, sinuses, sore throat…(I could go on and on..) Honestly, you name it, it’s probably in there. But, it’s obviously too much trouble for hubby to take a gander at the offerings to select the item that best suits his symptoms. He’d rather just lie on the couch and complain.
I can’t say I understand this behavior. I do know people who are “anti-medication” (I don’t understand them, but I know them). However, hubby is not “anti-medication”. I think he’s just anti-effort. Or maybe it’s that he’s pro-suffering? I can’t quite put my finger on it but all I have to say is that I’m glad I was swamped with work as hubby laid on the couch and sulked for 2 days last week (and this was in fact, after he started taking some medication!).
So yes, I took vows to love him when he’s sad & when he’s happy. To support his dreams & goals. To hold his hand as we walk into the future together. AND… to blog about all his idiosyncrasies (oh wait.. the vows didn’t mention that one….). But, I did not agree to be there when he’s sick.
Because to be honest dear hubby…… I do love you… but when you’re sick, you’re a big pain in my………….
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The Hubby Diaries 
That conversation sounds familiar! My theory is: you are a big boy and should be able to take care of yourself, so leave me alone unless you need something specific from me. Harsh but true.
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For a second there I thought you were talking about MY husband. That is a conversation that he and I have had many a time. I personally think it’s a man thing–like they will somehow feel like less of a man for having to take medication. They should be able to tough it out (in their minds); or perhaps they think that admitting they need meds is the same as admitting defeat. Something like that anyway. I just tell the Hubs he’s allowed to tell me he’s sick one time at the onset of the bug, and I’ll feel sorry for him as all get out..but if he’s not going to take anything, then I don’t want to hear another word about it. So just be a man…and suffer in silence then!
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Tina ~
I’ve tried the “suffer in silence” route. But I can feel the sulking and miserableness permeating throughout the house…. JUST TAKE A PILL FOR GOD’s SAKE!
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Hmm, not sure why nothing sound familiar to me here! Maybe because I didnt think he asked me to help him? In my eyes he just shares how he feels…
He didnt not ask for help or a solution.
Maybe something is worng with me?????????
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Paula ~
Nope nothing is wrong with you but sharing how he feels once is far different from telling me 3 days in a row that he STILL doesn’t feel well. When he’s done nothing to improve his situation!
Arrrrrggggghhhhhhh!
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Stopping by from Lady Bloggers tea, and this post cracked me up . . . I’m right there with you! I don’t know why, but when my own hubby is sick, it’s as if the world must stop. Must be a man thing, huh? Ladies can handle more, I guess!!!
Good luck to YOU on his sinus infection!!!! 😉
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Leanne ~
Thanks… but I need far more than luck 🙂
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Also from the LBS tea party. I feel like I’m definitely the annoying one when I’m sick. I can also be a little bit of a hypochondriac. I think my husband is pretty good at dealing with it though. Lucky for me he doesn’t get sick frequently.
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Found you on Lady Bloggers Society Tea.
I totally hear you on hubby’s not taking something when they’re feeling sick… mine’s the same way. After 23 years, you’d think he’d remember what I’ve suggested he take. 😉
Go figure!
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