I think I may have mentioned once or twice (or more accurately – more times that I can count)… that communication is probably one of the biggest challenges in a relationship.
It takes year and years of practice to effectively ignore your spouse without detection.
It’s a fine tuned dance that you learn to do where you actually have full fledged conversations with each other but only extract the info that’s absolutely necessary to give a nod at the appropriate time. Sometimes it’s actually only one word that stands out in a conversation but, it’s a word you latch onto in order to demonstrate that you were actually paying attention. And even after years of practice, sometimes when you are half-listening and giving the appropriate smiles & “uh huhs” you can still get caught not actually listening.
Take this snippet of conversation:
Me: “Honey, are you listening?”
Hubby: “Uh huh…..”
Me: “Ok, what did I say”
Hubby: “Huh? What? I wasn’t listening…”
He is so conditioned to give me an immediate “uh huh” that he does it without even thinking. Even though he hasn’t heard a word that came out of my mouth. Sometimes, if there’s a word of interest to him.. Food, Sex.. that’s the only word he hears… all the rest is … blah, blah, blahty, blah
So, here are a few test conversations:
Me: “Honey, do you want to have termites for dinner?”
Hubby: “Dinner.. yeah ok, I’m hungry…”
Me: “Hey babe.. did you see that show about people who have sex with a animals?”
Hubby: “SEX! YES! I’d like to have SEX!”
Me: “There’s a lot of laundry to do this weekend”
Hubby: crickets.. crickets.. crickets….. (ok, maybe this wasn’t a good example…)
I think hubby has fined tuned his Selective Listening to an art form. And, oftentimes I think it’s just me that he doesn’t listen to BUT, a week or so ago, we were watching a comedian on tv who had his own theory about men & listening.
Part of his act was about using the GPS in his car to drive somewhere. After some discussion about the GPS giving him directions, he declared that, even with his GPS giving him turn-by-turn instructions, he still got lost.
Why did he get lost? Because the GPS was giving him directions in a woman’s voice.
And there you have it…evidence that it’s not just me. In typical male fashion, all men seem to ignore all women.. even when it’s in their best interest to listen to us!
And, I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear that Hubby declared this to be the best joke he’s heard all year!
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