Hubby has an overactive imagination.
This can be evidenced by his ability to see the worst possible outcomes in all situations or, perhaps by the vivid dreams he has, where he wakes me up talking or yelling in his sleep. But perhaps the most glaring example of his imagination is his ability to relate to little kids.
And oh boy, can he relate. He can create elaborate forts and battlegrounds, he can choreograph epic transformer wars and, he can tell the tallest of tales. He can truly spin a story as if he’s crafting the most detailed and hyperbolic fairytale ever imagined.
Perhaps this is hubby’s attempt to never grow up. Yes folks, apparently I’m living with my own Peter Pan.
Once hubby gets going, he latches on to his story, which is ever-evolving and growing, and it continues to develop throughout our daily lives. As he continues to weave his narrative, he sprinkles in new elements and details as if he’s a gourmet chef creating the best-ever pasta sauce. He adds the ingredients slowly so that they can simmer and develop flavor. His story is meaty and robust. It has depth and character and unfolds as you consume it. Yep, that’s one of hubby’s stories.. you just devour it and you’re immediately left wanting more…. especially if you’re under 5 years old!
So, this brings me to Joe. If you’re asking yourself… “who the heck is Joe?”, let me try to explain. Yesterday hubby commented on my post and made a vague reference to someone named Joe. He made a weak attempt to blame “Joe” for all the magically appearing paper towels throughout our house. So, strap on your seat belt because I’m about to do my best to re-tell a piece of one of hubby’s stories.
Joe is a Cricket Herder who lives in our shed (YES! I did just say Cricket Herder)
Here are some important facts about Joe:
- Joe is 3 inches tall
- Joe herds crickets
- Joe has an underground tunnel that leads from our shed to our basement
- Joe likes to swim in our neighbors pool
- Sometimes Joe takes on contract work to herd crickets on other planets
Much like our 4 year old neighbor, you may have a few questions. So here’s a bit of Q&A between hubby & the little girl next door:
Q) How come we never see Joe?
A) He only herds crickets at night and since he’s only 3 inches tall you can’t see him in the grass.
Q) Where does Joe take a shower if he lives in the shed?
A) That’s why he has a tunnel to our basement.. so he can come inside our house when he needs to get cleaned up.
Q) If Joe has tunnels underground, what happens to all the worms?
A) Joe throws them over the fence into your yard.
Q) If Joe swims in our pool, how come I can’t hear him?
A) He only does it at night and even though he likes to do cannonballs, when he yells “CANNONBALL” it’s in his tiny 3 inch voice so you can barely hear him.
Q) What does Joe wear?
A) He dresses like a cowboy…. jeans, a bandana & cowboy boots
Q) How does Joe get to other planets to herd crickets?
A) He has a mini rocket ship.
Q) How come I don’t hear it take off?
A) Because he only travels on the 4th of July and you probably thought it was fireworks.
Yes, this conversation really did take place and yes, hubby has apparently decided that Joe is the perfect scapegoat for seemingly unexplained things in our house (because……… DUH!…. Joe has a tunnel into our home!)