Like many men, hubby likes to sit around and invent stupid shit.
And, god forbid he’s sitting around with other men, and they begin collaborating on the “Best Ideas Ever”. The output from their under-stimulated brain cells could make anyone worry.
I’ve been writing this blog for quite a while and I don’t think I’ve painted a completely accurate picture of how (cough… cough…) wonderful my life is.
You see when I married hubby, I was lucky enough to get a package deal. One of those buy-one-get-one-free specials whereby I acquired 2 versions of hubby. One is the quirky, awfulizing, ninja, mayor version I live with, and the other one happens to also be known as my brother-in-law. The brother-in-law is unmarried and has become a permanent pain in my ass, another man-child to care for, a partner in crime to dear hubby, a wonderful addition to my life.
The fact that I have 2 of them.. makes my life doubly wonderful, as I’m sure you can imagine. Yes, they are from the same mold. They sound the same, act the same and even more importantly think the same. And, that’s where all the trouble begins!
So.. here are just some of the fantastic ideas they’ve come up with and would like to implement in my house
- A fireman’s pole that’s hidden behind a trap door in my family room, that leads straight down into the man cave
- A large mermaid statue holding a giant clam that decorates the landscaping around our swimming pool (yeah, this one makes no sense to me either!)
- A giant projection screen that would cover the back of our house so they could play large scale video games while they are in the pool
- An underground tunnel that connects our pool to the neighbors pool (yes, the neighbor that left his family at the store to buy his new tv!) so they can more easily transport beer between our houses without getting out of the pool
Hubby’s favorite: Personal Air Bags. Let me explain this one since I had to ask a lot of questions to fully understand this. It would be built into your belt (just like an air bag in a steering wheel) and it would be set so that if your upright standing angle decreased too rapidly, it would automatically deploy to save you from injuring yourself. (aka.. if you’re so drunk, that you can no longer stand up straight, it will prevent you from falling over and hurting yourself).
Brother-In-Laws favorite: A Soferator. Yes, this is exactly what it sounds like. A sofa, that is also a kegerator. (a direct quote from the boys…. “What could possibly be better than this??”)
These boys…. they truly think they are brilliant! Now, if only they could invent something that’s actually practical and could make us some money!
Has your husband/boyfriend/brother/father “invented” some sort of silliness? If so, please share!
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