In honor of the final shuttle launch today I wanted to reflect back on a post I wrote back in 2009 (wow, I’ve been blogging for a while!). This post was about my dear old Dad.. and his effortless execution of “Man Time”. If you didn’t read that post (or you’ve forgotten the story) you can read it HERE. I will say.. that I’m now 40 years old and my model space shuttle is still dusty, in the basement and probably sad today as it considers it’s 30 yr tenure, in it’s dented box and incomplete state, as we watch the farewell voyage.
So, did you ever wonder why a project that’s supposed to happen in 2 hours could actually take 2 weeks? Or why something that’s going to “happen next” seems to not happen until next month?
Or maybe you’ve wondered why, when a man says “I’ll do it later“, “later” actually means at some undetermined time in the future. Not necessarily after he’s done watching the movie, or playing the video game. Later could easily be some time next Thursday or maybe the week after next or quite possibly immediately after pigs fly (and by flying pigs I do not mean the next football game… at least this might have a definitive timeline).
This phenomenon is the result of Man Time. The problem is that, as women, we don’t have the proper conversion tool to take man time and translate it into real time.
So today, I’m going to try to provide you with a Man Time to Real Time Conversion Chart.
(This of course is just a few thoughts and I’m sure if I had “man free time” I could invest the next 3 weeks making notes… but alas, I’m not a man… and I have laundry to do…..)
Man Time impact on starting a task:
2 Hours = 2 Hours unless
There is good movie on……. (add 2 hours)
There is a football game……. (add 4 hours)… if beer is involved… (add 24 hours)
There is a pizza nearby……. (add 30 minutes)
Pizza is used as a reward……. (deduct 30 minutes)
There is a naked woman nearby…… (good luck getting him to do anything ever)
There is a naked woman used as reward…… (deduct 1 hour)
The task involves…
Any sort of cleaning…… (add 1-4 hours)
Any sort of electronics……. (deduct 30 minutes)
The electronics make noises…… (deduct 1 hour)
Anything he doesn’t like doing…… (add anywhere from 2 hours to 10 years depending on the activity)
As you can see, there is some rhyme or reason to the completion time-table. What I’m still struggling to figure out though, is the space shuttle time conversion. I’m just not exactly sure what makes “next weekend” equal 30 years…. unless this has something to do with some sort of actual space/time travel…… can anyone shed any light on that??!! Uhmmmmm Dad?!
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Visiting from LBS tea party … great post!!! I’m thinking we get a man to the moon , but not to be timely ..hmmm… xo HHL
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I believe you are seeing the results of some of our advanced goal seeking. Husbands are constantly scanning the environment for the presence our NW (naked wife) – kinda like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo-5PNi2Gf4 . Other earthly goals – to the extent they exist – may be considered secondary. Interacting with electronics (esp. cool gadgets) allows us to benchmark our scanners against the best available technology and observing rapidly moving objects, such as baseballs and footballs, maintains proper calibration of our targeting scanners. Periodic intake of alcohol is recommended as a solvent to keep the scanners clean and is highly recommended as a cooling agent during scanner calibration.
I hope you find this information helpful.
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John.. you’ve definitely cleard up a few things for me. 1) Men truly are from Mars and 2) I now understand why the first step of every project seems to start with beer. How else could you all possibly keep your instruments in top notch performance?! Silly me, for ever second guessing this important process.
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Yes, I think this is scientifically accurate. I would be happy to submit my own research as further evidence of its truth. My husband even went to war and I’m sure it was entirely to avoid hanging the curtains. Stopping by from the tea party. Great post!
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Visiting from LBS Tea party. Love this post! Totally accurate!
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Visiting from the LBS Tea Party 🙂 I love this, it’s so ridiculously true! So much easier to just do it yourself half the time!
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This can work the other way too, you know.
“Honey, when are you going to cook dinner?”
“As soon as I finish doing all the things you said you were going to do but haven’t yet.”
stopping in from the lbs tea party. 🙂
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This is definitely worth scientific study but, of course, it would have to be conducted by women as we live and work in real time!
My biggest one? Putting the lights on the Christmas tree. Apparently, I’m not evolved enough to do it but when he says he’ll get to it it could be Christmas day.
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Dang…..
My man uses a different conversion rate, so the substitution rate must be doubled!
I’m a little jealous…
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