I was floating in my pool this weekend and I heard a comment from a friend to his girlfriend……
“Why would you wash my shit shoes?”
I just chuckled to myself as I watched a Great Debate break out as we floated on our noodles.
“Well they were just sitting there filthy and I thought I’d throw them in the washing machine….” “And, uhm, well, they sort of came unglued”.
“You shouldn’t have washed them… they are SHIT shoes. By definition they don’t need to be washed. Now I need to buy new shoes, just so I can downgrade my current shoes, to be new shit shoes.”
He was, of course, talking about the beat-up, old sneakers he wears to do outdoor chores. I guess they’d been lying around in a spot where she had to pay too much attention to them and she decided they needed a good cleaning. This is a good example of how a woman’s mind works as she scans her environment and works to rid the excess clutter and dirt. As compared to a man who scans his surroundings looking for electronics and beer and nothing else ever hits his radar.
She probably stepped over these filthy shoes 2193 times before she couldn’t help herself anymore and she tossed them into the wash.
Never able to stay out of a good debate, hubby needed to jump into this one….
“I have 2 sets of shit shoes.” he merrily declared. “Front shit shoes and back shit shoes.”
And just for the record, this is TOTALLY true. He does indeed have one pair of gross, filthy, beat-up, sneakers that reside in our garage for lawn mowing etc. And, recently I’ve noticed another pair of gross sneakers that have found a permanent spot on our back porch. Yes, on the back porch, just outside the door. Yes, I do have to step over these EVERY time I walk out this door. And no…. I have never once thought about putting these into my washing machine. But I have thought about tossing them in the trash.
I understand the concept of “shit shoes”… I myself have some outdoor work shoes. The difference of course, is that mine don’t live outside nor does anyone trip over them as they walk through my house. And, just for the record, I’d never, ever, consider putting hubby’s disgusting shoes into my washing machine!
So now, I need to jump into this debate.
“Why exactly would you wash his shit shoes?” I asked.
“They were disgusting and I thought they needed to be cleaned”. she replied
“You put these into your washing machine?” (I’m grossed out just thinking about it)
“Nooooo… I took them to the laundromat!” She declared proudly
I’ll be the first to admit I’m a bit anal and hubby is a bit messy and we almost never see eye-to-eye. BUT, this day was a first… since we both simultaneously said…
“What the heck is wrong with you” ….. “you actually took the “shit shoes” to the laundromat just to wash them?”
And she responded (now laughing herself)….. “yes, I guess I did. And now I’ve ruined them since they are coming apart at the soles…”
Now maybe she’s just smarter than I am, since she had seemingly accomplished her mission of ruining these gross sneakers to the point where they are no longer wearable… thereby ensuring they would no longer reside in her home..
This was of course until her boyfriend replied…..
“Well, I guess I’ll have to pull out some duct tape to keep them together.” Still grinning he said.. “there’s no need to get new ones…”
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