Did you ever send your husband/boyfriend to the grocery store and wonder why you’d subject yourself to such torture?
This seems to be one of those things that gets filed under immediately-forget-how-bad-it-was-until-you-ask-him-to-do-it-again.
Whatever could I be referring to????
Well, imagine this. I meticulously make a list of items we need from the store. Hubby graciously (after some grumbling, much whining, and perhaps a few threats from me) agrees to run to the supermarket. I’m thrilled, we are dividing and conquering. We are working as a team. I have just gained about an hour to focus on laundry, bills, cleaning. HOORAY!! I can cross food shopping off my list… or can I?
It’s not a full “shop”.. it’s just a short list of maybe 15 items that we’ll need for the upcoming week. Off he goes…..
Maybe 10 minutes later the phone rings….
Hubby: “Hon, this parking lot sucks.. I hate this place. There are morons everywhere”
Me: “Yeah babe, I know the grocery store sort of sucks on the weekends…”
I go back to folding laundry…………
Ring… Ring… Ring…..
Me: “Hi Babe.. what’s up?”
Hubby: “You wrote down peppers”
Hubby: “What kind of peppers?”
Hubby: “Yeah, I want to make sure I get the right stuff..”
Me: “You mean the ‘right stuff’ to make the fajitas that we eat ALL-THE-TIME?”
Me: “I can’t believe you don’t know what sort of peppers we eat. Red & green bell peppers, Hon”
Hubby: “Ok, thanks!!”
I pick up the same shirt and continue folding……
Ring… Ring… Ring….. (barely 2 minutes have passed)
Hubby: “Hi. The women here are crazy… some lady almost rolled me over with her cart”
Hubby: “Where would I find brown sugar”
Me: “The baking aisle”
Hubby: “Ok thanks.”
I’m beginning to remember the last time I sent him to the grocery store……………
Ring… Ring… Ring….. (here we go again)
Me: “Yes dear..”
Hubby: “They seem to have rearranged the lay out since I was last here….. where are the tissues?”
Me: “They’re in the aisle right after the cleaning supplies and before the crackers”
Hubby: “No they’re not… I’m standing there now”
Me: “Well, if you’re standing there and that’s not where they are, and you just said they’ve rearranged the store, how exactly would I know where they put the tissues?”
Hubby: “Ok, I’ll find them”
Yep… it’s all coming back to me…….
Ring… Ring… Ring….. (this can’t possibly be happening…… again……)
Me: “Hi Hon, guess I’m not meant to get laundry done today…”
Hubby: “Which type of olives do you want?
Me: “The kind I wrote down”
Hubby: “You wrote down green olives, but holy crap there are a lot of choices. They have Spanish ones but you can get them with pimento, without pimento, whole, chopped…..”
Me: “Oh boy”
Hubby: “What do ya mean, oh boy?”
Me: “It’s just that this is your 4th call home and I only wrote down like 15 items”
Hubby: “So, which olives?”
Me: “The ones with pimentos please…”
And then, after I hang up, I just sat there and stared at the phone waiting for it to ring again.
After a few minutes, it seemed to be safe and I started back on my laundry.
Dink – Dink (that’s my text message alert)
The text says “btw, didn’t get any corn on the cob, the women at the bin are insane. just couldn’t do it. sorry”
When hubby finally arrives home, he looks harried and exhausted and he blurts out “Please oh please don’t ever send me back there….”
And ya know what….. I probably won’t ….. given that I could have done the shopping myself in half the time it took me to coach him from afar.
Until of course next time, when I forget how bad this entire experience was and I mistakenly think it will save me time to send hubby out to grab a few items from the store………………..
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