Every year hubby lugs down Christmas bin after Christmas bin to decorate for the holiday.. then he surreptitiously dumps them all over the house.
For the next few days I navigate my way around our house like a mine field. I squeeze through the hallway upstairs, I step over crap at the bottom of the stairs and I slide heavy items out of the way so I can pass. And then… almost like clockwork, hubby disappears to go to a Giants game. And miraculously, when he returns, our home looks like Christmas. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like to decorate for the holiday and I don’t necessarily *need* hubby’s participation in choosing which shelf gets Sniffles the snowman, or where to put the tree in the North Pole Village BUT, hubby does *need* to be involved in some things.
I do not touch hubby’s army of nutcrackers. If you recall from last year, these soldiers are meticulously assembled on their battle line each holiday season. And I never, ever, take on this decorating task. The nutcracker bin may well sit in the dining room for another week after the rest of the house is completely decorated anxiously awaiting hubby’s assembling of the army (which apparently must be done “on it’s own time” and “cannot be rushed”).
The other key element that I never do alone is our tree.
I’ve spoken about the importance of selecting the right tree in the past. And, I’ve outlined how
fun, merry, exciting, magical, errr… uhmmm.. thorough our shopping excursions can be to find the perfect tree. But what I haven’t written about is the details of our tree.
Let’s start with the lights…. which are a never-ending battle at my house (hmmmm… perhaps I should have enlisted my own army!) I have a preference for white lights on our Christmas tree and hubby has a preference for colored lights. I always win (just as any wife should!). And we have white lights on the tree. Now, in all actuality, I owned a home before I met hubby and I already had a TON of Christmas stuff, including many boxes of white lights… so, it’s almost as if the choice was already made and we just continued down this path. BUT, it doesn’t stop hubby from
wishing, whining, pouting each year as he strings on the white lights. He says things like:
“Know what would make this tree look even better?”……………..”colored lights”
“Know what would make my Christmas truly magical?” …………….”colored lights”
“Know what makes fantastic Christmas trees look less fantastic?” ……………”white lights”
I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.
Anyhow, a very long, and somewhat unrelated story but….. we hit the lottery this year and decided to buy new LED lights to decorate the outside of our house. — OK – before you get all excited for us — we didn’t actually win the lottery, but you really need to, in order to afford LED lights…. Holy Crap… what are they made of GOLD??!! ($30 friggin dollars for a dang string of lights – WTH?!) Ok, I’m getting way off topic here. Back to my tree.
The long story resulted in us “stealing” some of our “inside” lights for outside and left us with white LED lights to put on our Christmas tree. (And now you can see the tree from outerspace and you need to wear sunglasses in our house…. but hey, we’re saving energy!!). And hubby, like every year (while he was fascinated by the bright lights – as every man would be…..) still pouted about not having colored lights on his tree.
And then, to make matters worse…… come the bows.
I always finish our tree with small burgundy bows. Hubby hates bows on trees. I have no idea if perhaps he was attacked by a roll of fabric when he was younger, or maybe his mom gave everyone in the family gifts with bows while hubby got coal for Christmas, but he is horribly prejudiced against pretty bows. This is another tree decorating battle that I generally win (just as any wife should). And hubby, once again, always pouts.
“Know what would make this tree look even better?” ………”colored lights and NO bows”
“Know what would make my Christmas truly magical?” ……….”colored lights and NO bows”
“Know what makes fantastic Christmas trees look less fantastic…… “white lights and ugly bows”
I have no idea why hubby could give a crap about every-single other decorating conversation I force him to have the other 364 days of the year. And then all of a sudden he’s an authority on the “perfectly” decorated Christmas tree.
And that my dear friends….. is how I ruin Christmas, each and every year, for my dear hubby.
(now, if you can keep it a secret…… next year, I may just let hubby have free reign over the tree but it’s taken me years to mentally prepare myself for what sort of tree we might wind up with!)
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