Hubby ordered sausage & pepper pizza 2 nights ago.
Now for a normal person, this wouldn’t be worth blogging about BUT since it was hubby and it goes against virtually everything he believes in, I had to put it out there into the blogosphere to try to solicit some sympathy. Because, for my life, I cannot figure this man out.
If you don’t understand why this would matter, you should read this post: You’re Gonna Ruin It.
It’s in that post where I first shared hubby’s aversion to “contaminating” his cheese pizza with anything but cheese. This has been an on-going battle since the day I met hubby. I like toppings on my pizza and he doesn’t. As I mentioned in that last post, we haven’t been able to find a happy medium without ordering separate pizzas, because the minute I add any toppings to half the pizza, I have “ruined his plain cheese half with flavor & smells from my toppings”. And, my dear blog readers, apparently this is just plain unacceptable!
BUT… just when you think you have him figured out, he likes to change things up on you.
So, we’re out to dinner with friends and he decides he wants a pizza. The waiter comes over and he orders just that… a cheese pizza. Then the waiter starts prodding him. “Just cheese??” he says. To which I reply, “He won’t eat anything but plain cheese….. everything else ruins his pizza!” But the waiter isn’t letting this one pass, he says “wouldn’t you want some peppers, or maybe some onions, or how about some sausage?”. And hubby looks at him, as if he’s contemplating these offerings. I, on the other hand, am steadfast in my opinion of his pizza order. I KNOW that hubby won’t contaminate his pizza. I’ve had to have this debate for the last 10 years. It always ends the same way…. nothing but cheese.
But hubby seems to waver.
The waiter presses on….. “We make a fantastic sausage & pepper pizza”. Our friends join in… “They do make a great sausage & pepper pizza”. I chime in… “What’s going on with you? Are you about to be pressured into pizza with toppings???? You and I have argued this very topic for years and if you change you mind, right here, right now….. I may just have to kill you.”
“OK” he says…. “sausage & peppers it is!”. And then, I fainted, fell out of my chair, and they had to rush me to the hospital. Did MY husband just order toppings on his pizza? It couldn’t be? We’ve discussed this ad nauseum, I’ve begged, I’ve pleaded. I’ve rationalized with him about the fact that separately, he likes sausage and he likes peppers. All to no avail. I must always eat just plain cheese unless I want to get my own personal pizza. And now, here we are, and he’s succumbing to peer pressure at the restaurant. WHERE WAS THIS WAITER 10 YEARS AGO???????????????
After he orders, again, I have to say to him… “Are you sure? What’s going on with you? Did you just cave in and order something you don’t really want? Cause, we can still change this and put the universe back on it’s axis!”. And, he looks at me and smugly replies…. “Nope, I’m totally happy. I want sausage & peppers”. And that moment folks, was when I realized that I wanted smack him right upside the head. But instead, I gave him the reply that always seems to follow any ridiculous or impossible to understand behavior……. “You know, you really are EXHAUSTING…………”
Now, I have no idea if this was an isolated incident (likely). And, I’m having trouble celebrating that he’s finally opened his eyes to a new form of pizza since it was only once (probably). And beyond all of that, sometimes I wonder if he chooses to be difficult just to test me……. and now, after 10 years of toying with me, he’s deemed it time to shake things up a bit. And everyone wonders why I started a blog…………………………………
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Oh my gosh, and people were saying the end of the world isn’t 2012… this is proof.
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I can not express how hard I am laughing right now. Men..
It is ALWAYS someone else’s opinion that changes them!!
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i laughed so hard i almost peed in my pants ..men!… my fave was …I may just have to kill you.” …lmao!
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OMG. Freaking hilarious! Men… *sigh*
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If we say it’s black, they say it’s white, but if someone else says it’s black, they say why of course it is!! That’s why I totally understand why you do this blog – you have to let out the frustration, and by doing so, you are making the rest of us feel better because we realize we are not alone!!! Thank you! 🙂
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Agree with all other comments here… my hubby is the same. I’m he does things just coz he knows they frustrate the hell out of me. And i have those same urges to smack him upside of the head too…
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This post made my day…I feel your frustration!
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Ah-mazing! I can totally relate to your drama and it’s my opinion that yes-he strongly argues for cheese only pizza because it excites and infuriates YOU! I’ve got a husband that refuses to let me get comfortable with his behaviour. He is motivated to keeping us from being a boring couple by acting schizophrenic. I swear he is impossible.
Loved the post.
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You do realize, that the cheese pizza with/without topping debate will only get more heated from here on. I mean…he liked it once, right?
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Kara ~ How right you are…. I don’t think he has any idea what door he’s opened!
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Your marriage keeps you supplied with blog fodder – and me in stitches!
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