Wow…. You know how sometimes you blink and you’ve lost like a month of your life? Well, that’s me right now. I’m short staffed at work which is slowly and painfully killing me and then add to that a cute little munchkin to take care of (ok, 2 munchkins if you count hubby – who arguably is less cute, although cute in his own right….) and I have no idea where my time goes.
What I do know is that the tasks that used to not get done at my house because of hubby’s inability to commit (or at least align) with my timelines now take even L O N G E R…. if you can possibly imagine that. And longer means that Christmas bags filled with gifts are still sitting in my bedroom (read HERE), laundry baskets filled with clean clothes NEVER get emptied. A picture that I put on the side of our bathroom to get hung (oh say, about 6 months ago) still knowingly winks at me – from the floor – every time I take a shower. I remember a day when blogging somehow inadvertently led to action… or at least considered action by hubby. But maybe because we’re both so busy.. and tired…. and busy…. and MORE tired and I can’t find time to blog, it’s not easy to subtlety put things on hubby’s radar.
But alas, all this really means is that the fairies have needed to kick into overdrive.
And by fairies….. (contrary to hubby’s perspective)…. I mean ME!
Take this example.
It’s allergy season at our house… which sucks! If you don’t have seasonal allergies consider yourself incredibly lucky because it’s almost impossible to communicate how much it truly blows. The sniffling, sneezing, nose blowing, medicine swallowing, windows open/closed debates that happen on a daily basis at our house are ridiculous. We have loaded up on tissues and Allegra D and nasal spray and umpteen other remedies so we can try to make it through this season with minimal discomfort.
So, I’m in the kitchen the other day and I go to the counter to get a tissue….. but…………. The tissue box is no longer there. Shocking, I know.
So, I go to the bathroom to blow my nose… thinking to myself…. “Self, don’t replace the tissues. Hubby used the last one. He will undoubtedly need more. He will replace the box that he emptied.” And then the part of me that lives in reality said …. “Self, you’re delusional. Replace the tissues. You will absolutely need another tissue long before that box gets replaced.” And then the hopeful side of me responded…. “No. He’s going to prove you wrong. He WILL replace the tissues”
And then, like 4 days passed. No tissues.
And every dang time I walked to the counter…. forgetting that there are no tissues there, I curse under my breath as I reach into thin air grasping for a non-existent tissue box.
And then, one day hubby was standing in the kitchen as I walked to the counter for a tissue (apparently I’m not good at un-training myself). But this time, rather than silently have a conversation in my head I decided to talk to our son. “Mini-hubby” I said, “When you get older, please, oh please, make sure you learn how to do things like this for the people around you. Daddy doesn’t care that mommy has snot running down her face……” And hubby, who is obviously listening, perks up and says…. “Oh, there’s no tissues?”. “No honey, there’s no tissues…. Because you emptied them days ago and didn’t get a new box”.
With a straight face hubby responds….. “But tissues replace themselves, I don’t understand why there not there?” “Uhm, no hubby, tissues actually don’t replace themselves”. I sigh a long sigh….. “Fairies??” he asks, seemingly perplexed. “Nope, the fairies don’t do it either”. “Hmmmmm…..” he thinks for a moment (you can see the wheels turning in his head). Then he comes to a brilliant conclusion. “I will get new tissues” he declares. And then, without skipping a beat he asks me….. “where do we keep the tissues???”
(We’ve lived in this house for 8 years. The extra tissues have had the same storage spot for 8 years. Hubby has no idea where that storage spot is)
And that your honor, is why I had to kill him.
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