‘Twas the Week Before Christmas

Yes, I’ve been missing for a LONG time.   Needless to say, I’ve resurfaced for a day to give you a throw back Christmas post from long ago in THD history.

Where have we been?  Well, we’ve been busy… you know, the kind of busy that can only come from a tornado of a 4 year old.   It’s a good busy.  And a tear out my hair, barely know my name, busy.  But all-in good.   Maybe someday, I’ll find time to get back into blogging – MY OH MY, DO I MISS IT!

If you’ve missed me…. let me know.   It would be awesome to hear from you – IS ANYONE IS STILL OUT THERE READING!?   PLEASE SHOW YOURSELF and let me know if you’ll still be here when I find time to write again!

Anywhoooo… in the spirit of the holiday.  Please ENJOY this throw back!

 

 

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When Two Becomes Too…

In my esteemed opinion (and since it’s my blog, I think I’ll call myself an authority) there’s a huge myth that exists about marriage. 

 

Marriage Myth #1:  By joining your lives in marital bliss…

Two Becomes One.

 

The assumption that when you merge your life with someone else’s, you blend together all of your emotions, thoughts, needs and desires is quite ludicrous, in my opinion.

Let’s take hubby & me.

 

Emotions

Hubby feels that Sundays should be a day of rest & football games
I feel that broken cabinets should be fixed before there’s rest & football on Sundays

 

Thoughts

Hubby thinks that everyone driving on the road in close proximity to him is a stupid moron
I think that hubby can be a bit intolerant and mean to all those stupid morons

 

Needs

Hubby needs a beer & a great video game session to make him happy
I need a glass of wine & a clean bathroom to make me happy

 

Desires

Hubby desires a 70” HD LCD TV
I desire beautiful, granite counter tops in the kitchen

 

As you can see, hubby and I can be quite divergent on all those things that should have been merged by marriage, into a singular life of togetherness.

While togetherness and a joint approach to things is important, there’s a lot to be said about independence in a marriage.  Maintaining a sense of who YOU are, is just as important as developing a shared approach to married life.  And, giving each other the freedom to pursue independent interests, or to simply enjoy personal time, can be invaluable.

So, that of course brings me to my personal theory about marriage.

 

When you share your life with someone through marriage…

Two Becomes Too.

 

This allows you to continue to have your own emotions, thoughts and wants but offers you the opportunity to have someone join you as you both walk forward side by side.

You will of course need to ensure that you do share some commonalities with the “Big Ticket Relationship Items”.

Things like:

• Politics
• Religion
• Finances
• Who gets which side of the bed
• Who holds the remote
• And.. the ever-so-important, Which beer do you keep on tap 

And, even if you disagree on some of these, you can still maintain a healthy respect for your spouse’s opinions and learn to compromise.   Sometimes it’s necessary to just simply agree to disagree. (and trust me… this is a necessary tool for any successful marriage!!) 

And, when all else fails, you can agree to rotate between light, amber beers, and dark, hoppy beers each time you get a new keg.

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