Here’s To Another 10!

Ever since we added a mini hubby to our lives last year, my days have all blended together.  My free time is no longer free and my blogging time has dwindled down to almost nothing.  Every. Single. Day.  I wish my job would stop bleeding over to my personal life, so I actually have time to do the things I enjoy (like write this blog).  But alas, work doesn’t care about my passions… they care about my productivity.  The baby also doesn’t really care about my passions… he cares about being fed and changed and creating a mini tornado of toys in my home.

 

So, no one cares about the blog but me.  And I have no time for me.  So here we are:  Stalemate.   Sad but true and I miss blogging every day.  Maybe, if anyone out there still reads the blog… you miss me too.  I miss you… and ME.   Hmmmmm….. what a downer I am!

 

Anyhow, I couldn’t let this week pass without finding some time to share a post…… BECAUSE….. THIS IS ANNIVERSARY WEEK at my house.  And, it’s a big one.

Hubby and I have been married 10 years this week.   WOW.  10 years.  I can’t believe it so I’ll write it again.  10 years.

 

10 years of crumbs.

10 years of stepping over stuff on the stairs.

10 years of repeating myself over and over and over.

10 years of debates over new electronics.

10 years of enough food quirks to fill an entire book.

10 years of holding hands.

10 years of zaniness and absurdity.

10 years of laughter & love.

 

In the past I’ve shared some Top 10 Lists with you.

 

10 Reasons I Love My Hubby (looking back – this was on our 7^th anniversary!)

10 Things I’m Thankful For

10 things I would do if it was the last day of the world (ok, it was really 8 things… because heck, you shouldn’t overburden yourself if the world is ending!)

 

And today, I’m about to share another list.

 

10 Reasons That 10 Years is Just The Beginning

 

1. It could take a lifetime to properly “train” my hubby.  Either hubby is a particularly obstinate case or I have won the jackpot.  [If my father-in-law is any indication, I have many, many, many (yes FIL – that’s THREE many’s!) more years ahead of me to help hubby be “the best he can be”…. Sorry mother-in-law.  I feel your pain!]
2. I have only repeated myself self 14,687 times.   And, I can easily say the same thing 89,973 more times…. So I’m nowhere near capacity on asking hubby to wipe crumbs from the counters.
3. Technology improves quicker than I can blink and hubby NEEDS me so he’s not hypnotized by all the magical promises made by those devils at Sony & Samsung that would entice him to buy a new TV Every. Single. Year.
4. Without me, hubby wouldn’t eat pickles or pork or seafood or sushi.  It may take me 30 more years but Dang It… I’m not giving up until he’ll eat an ear of corn or a bbq spare rib!
5. Fairies DO NOT exist.  And, if I wasn’t around, hubby may have to face the reality that the fairies wouldn’t clean up after him, do his laundry or cook his food… YIKES!
6. There’s a lot more blog to write…. plus, I don’t have a book contract or a TV show yet based on hubby’s absurd behavior.  So, I will wait patiently.
7. This is only our first year with mini-hubby, and it will take many more years for hubby to realize that all his qualities that make this blog funny, have been passed on to his son… and ya know what? Watching him, watch his son, repeat his behaviors, will in many cases be poetic justice  😉
8. I like eating cookies…. And as long as he’ll always leave me one (even if this is only to not have to throw away the empty package) I know we’re a good pair for the long haul
9. He always keeps me on my toes.  Even if I happen to be on my toes so I don’t hurt myself skirting stuff left on the stairs or maneuvering around crap left in the kitchen.
10. Through the good times and the bad.  Through the tears and the smiles.  Through the laughter and the silliness.  There is no one else who I’d want by my side.

Happy Anniversary Baby…

Still holding hands as we walk together towards the future!  LOVE YOU!

 

 

 

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The Magic Of Blogging

I’ve mentioned before that sometimes this blog serves as great therapy for me.  This is to say that when I watch hubby step over stuff laying on the floor, leave whiskers all over the bathroom sink, or I throw away the umpteenth empty soda can from the kitchen counter…. rather than have silent conversations with myself about how to smother hubby in his sleep, I jot down a note to blog about it.

 

It’s become a tool for me to vent my frustrations about hubby’s clueless male behavior without picking a fight over Every-Single-Stupid-Thing he does around our house.  This is not to say that I’ve mastered the art of not nit-picking.  My will power to ignore every overlooked thing, or crumb, or untouched project, can only go so far.  But for me it’s helped to solicit comments from other poor people all over the world, who lovingly deal with schmos of their own.  So, if you’re a lurker here and never comment, this is the time you should share a story of your own!! (It’ll make you feel good!)

 

Anyhow, many of you know that hubby is a regular blog reader.   This can bring about a very unique set of circumstances after I post an entry. You see, I almost never tell hubby what I’m going to write about.  The topic (and my feelings about the topic) comes a surprise to him each time I post and sometimes it leads to conversations after the fact.  And, some of these conversations are pretty dang funny.

 

When I first started this blog, I discussed it with hubby.  I offered to share everything I wrote with him prior to posting.  He insisted this wasn’t necessary.   As much as I pick on him (and as moronic as he can be) we really do have a happy marriage.  The last thing I wanted to do was share something with the blogosphere that truly upset him.  The agreement we came to was that I wouldn’t make anything up, I’d only post things that were completely true.  Hubby told me “nothing is off limits”.  And so, off I went to share his absurdity with all of you.

 

Now, as you can imagine, sometimes he reads a replay of our conversations and he laughs out loud at how ridiculous he sounds.  Sometimes our friends comment to him about how nutty his idiosyncrasies really are.  Sometimes wives of our friends comment about how similar their husbands are. And sometimes, hubby gets so caught up in the story about something he did wrong, it makes him see it through different eyes.  Yes folks, these are my happiest moments.  It’s the days when I’ve blogged about him ignoring something that’s been blatantly awaiting his attention that, miraculously, the item is put away that night.  Don’t get me wrong. this isn’t normal.. but it does happen.

 

Then, there are the days where he’s read an entry and he wants to point out things that I forgot to share, or he wants to provide follow-up information.  These conversations usually start something like this….. ” in that bowl post, you forgot that I need to use certain spoons for certain things..” or “you didn’t mention that remote I left on the stairs for months…”  It actually cracks me up that hubby wants to rat himself out and provide me with additional blog fodder.

 

So, this week when he laughed about the fact that I quoted him as saying he “hates California“.. he followed that up with, “you know, I hate Pennsylvania too”.  So, of course, like I normally do when hubby says something that makes no sense…. I respond with “what the heck are you talking about.. what’s there to hate about PA?”.  And, with the straightest face he says… “Well, when you drive all the way out west, the PA turnpike sucks.. And, of course, there’s all those Eagles fans (hubby is a die hard Giants fan with season tickets).   So, I pretty much hate PA too”.

 

So even though hubby seems to be alienating all of my blog readers, one state at a time, I can tell you that his next comment about my last post was… “so I guess we’re going to Northern Cal this year, huh?”   And, I guess it goes without saying, that it was hard to mask the tiny little smirk that began to form on my face… as I celebrated another small, but successful, output from my blog — It looks like I just may be sipping wine in Napa sometime in the near future!!! HOOOORAAAAAAY!

 

(Do you think if my next 10 posts are about wanting a renovated bathroom, that maybe it could possibly happen this year too??????????)  🙂

 

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Can’t Catch Up!

I know, I know…. you’re wondering why I dropped off the face of the blogosphere??!!

 

I have hit a couple of weeks where too many of my personal obligations had a head-on collision with too many of my work obligations.  And the result, unfortunately, has been no time to blog. 

 

I have yet to figure out how to commute 1 1/2 hours to work in the morning, work for about 9 hours, commute 1 1/2 hours home, do laundry, go to the dry cleaner, buy toothpaste, wash dishes, shovel 2 inches of ice off my steps (Every-Damn-Day), undecorate Christmas, maintain friendships (insert deep breath here)  return Christmas presents, feed the dog, cook dinner, pay bills and so on, and so on, and so on.  Forget about fitting in any sleeping & unwinding… I’ll have to wait until Spring for that!

 

The good news is, I have off from work tomorrow and I plan to write a true blog post.  The bad news is, I truly think that this pace may continue for the next month or so.  I’m in the midst of budget planning at work for next fiscal year in addition to quarterly business reviews from the end of 2010.   This my friends means 8-9 hour meetings at work to prep for and discuss more meetings at work.  All culiminating in even more work meetings that will take place in FL. Which also means, more work travel.  Sounds like fun… right?!  Sure, almost as fun as having a bucket of ice water tossed over my head or maybe falling off a treadmill.

 

Either way.. I just wanted you to know that it’s not just my blog that’s suffering.. it’s my house too.  At this very moment, hubby’s Christmas presents are still on the floor in the living room, there are items sitting on the stairs awaiting their jouney upwards and… perhaps the worst of all.

 

This is what the hallway looks like as I ascend my stairs.

Yes, those are Christmas bins and other assorted items that need to make their way to the attic.  They’ve been sitting in that spot for a little over a week.

 

Here’s a better look at just how sad this is..

That’s something like 7 bins, 5 boxes, bags and other loose items that have been cluttering my hallway because I’m too busy to even nag hubby to help me stowe away Christmas until next year.

 

I’m even debating with myself which I’ll be able to tackle first… these bins or blogging.  And….. since the bins require hubby’s help, I have a sinking feeling that the blog may win!

 

Anyhow… wish me luck and forgive me for disappearing for a while!

 

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My New Year’s Resolution – And You Can Help!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I’ve made a few New Year’s Resolutions this year… many of which I’ve already failed at miserably and it’s only day #2.

1. My agreement with myself to start losing weight. This was somewhat derailed this weekend as I stuffed my face with leftover cookies, brownies, dips & chips… (I suppose there’s always next week!).
2. Or my resolution to not grumble at hubby as he sits in front of the tv while I clean around him.  That one was derailed this weekend too as I cleaned up from our NYE celebration as hubby watched his 10th straight episode of American Choppers. 
3. But, there’s one resolution that perhaps you could help me with.

This resolution… also probably known more as wish, or a desire, is to build my blog readership.  This way I can help other people in relationships around the world learn to laugh as the dust bunnies grow in their Man Caves or, to properly use aversion tactics to get things done around the house or, how to set up the attic living conditions to attract the best fairies.

 

This blog is my way of talking to women all over to help them find a way to deal with all those annoying male qualities or to at least realize that they are not alone when they want to scream at the top of their lungs… “Are you even listening to me??”.  As you know, misery loves company and there are many other women out there dealing with their own absurd male behavior Every.  Single.  Day.

 

That being said.. please share this blog with your friends, your mom, your book club and……..

Nominations for the 2011 Bloggie Awards are now open!  

There are a variety of categories and I’d love to be included in the list.  So, if you enjoy reading this blog, I’d love it if you’d take a moment to visit the nomination page and nominate The Hubby Diaries (https://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com) .

 

I wish I had a chance to qualify as an entrant into the Most Humorous Blog category but I’m a realist and I know that, while I may make you chuckle now and then, I’m probably not the funniest blog you read.  So, I’m shooting for a nomination into the Best Kept Secret category.  I’m hopeful that maybe since my blog is a yet to be discovered ‘secret’ this might be the best category for me!

Sooooo… If you’re willing to help me work towards one of my 2011 goals, please click on any of the links in this post (or on the image above) and nominate The Hubby Diaries (you can nominate a blog in multiple categories) and you can also nominate any other fantastic blogs that you read.   Additionally, I love to laugh so if you know of other great humor blogs please leave a comment and share them with everyone, I love to find new blogs to add to my reader!

Thanks a ton… and here’s to a great 2011!!

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Isn’t It Ironic

It’s funny the way things play out in life.

 

Some might say that it’s ironic that hubby can never find his keys when we have a spot where ALL the keys go.

 

Or perhaps irony is waiting weeks for hubby to call the landscaper and then the day I finally give up and call myself, hubby had already spoken to him earlier that morning.

 

Or maybe true irony is when I’ve just washed & folded 400 pieces of laundry but the one shirt hubby wants to wear tonight is still laying dirty in the laundry basket (ok, maybe not ironic, maybe intentional…but, ssssshhhhh… this will be our little secret)

 

But I’d have to say that I’ve hit the mother load of irony this week.

 

I’d like to share with you a picture I took TODAY.

Now you probably have your head cocked to the side and maybe you’re squinting a bit trying to figure out what you’re looking at.

 

Here, let me give you a different angle.

Any ideas yet?

 

I can’t actually help but chuckle to myself as I write this. It’s almost as if I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and created my own wonderland. Or, my hubby is doing his absolute best to mess with my mind.

 

Whatever the case, let’s reflect on my 2 most recent posts in order to solve my picture question. One post was about hubby’s inability to put things where they belong, or more accurately, my musings about how many times something needed to be moved before it found a permanent home. The other was a glimpse into my on-going battle with hubby about leaving things on the stairs (are those pictures starting to make sense yet??)

 

Ok, so go with me here. When I write a post about hubby, I talk about things that really happen and things that are relevant to my immediate life. Most of the time my posts are a result of some “male” behavior hubby has exhibited that week that I simply don’t understand. I also try to tell you stories in a way that helps you get a feel for how things really happen. How we talk to each other, what I’m thinking etc. And, just so you know, my posts are always based on facts, I do not make up any of these stories.

 

So here’s a fact: Last week, when I mentioned some boxing hand wraps that had been relocated around my kitchen so many times I’d lost count, it was a result of my most recent attempt to reintroduce these to hubby.. I had removed them from the basket for the umpteenth time and placed them back on the kitchen table (hoping this ever-so subtle hint, coupled with an “outing” on an internet blog might actually solicit a response). Well, lo and behold…. SUCCESS!! Without even so much as a word – at least not a verbal word (I’m not counting the 1000 or so words on the internet!), hubby moved the hand wraps…. Right. To. The. Stairs.

 

Wait.. what?? Yep, he moved these friggin’ hand wraps right to the stairs (with what I’d have to assume is a final destination upstairs).

 

EXCEPT……………………

 

You know what happens when you assume……

 

(Are you starting to see the irony here????)

 

So, these dang wraps have been sitting on the stairs for over a week. And, I’ve really tried to just ignore them. But, I’ll admit it… I finally had a weak moment and I said…”Is there a plan for these hand wraps?”

 

And hubby says: “Ummm, yeah. I thought I was going to bring them upstairs but then I realized that I wasn’t really sure where I was going to put them when they got there”

 

So, I respond: “Ok, so please don’t tell me that their new home is the stairs???? I know you read the blog.. which is probably why you noticed them on the kitchen table in the first place. But I’m guessing you didn’t read the next post?” (or maybe he did and he’s trying to drive me into the looney bin so he can leave crap all over the house without ever being bothered or nagged again….???)

 

“No, I read it, and they were going to go upstairs” He said. “But I’ve changed my mind and now I think they should go to the basement” (wow, he’s actually using his noodle – and, I think “noodle” is probably the proper description of his cleaning logic skills since it’s a muscle he generally doesn’t exercise)

 

So, excitedly I respond: “Ok, that makes more sense than upstairs”.  And, I’m smiling because I’m cautiously hopeful that we’ve come to a happy solution for both of us!

 

And that’s where the conversation ended.

 

And, that was 2 days ago.

 

And today, as you can see from my picture, they have not moved. Not. One. Inch.

 

I thought I had stumbled on a new way of communicating with hubby.. communication via the blog since I got exactly what I wanted, which was a relocation of the hand wraps from the kitchen.  But, ironically enough, they wound up exactly where I didn’t want them.. on the frickin’ stairs……….

 

Thanks hubby….. for always keeping me on my toes (and by toes, I don’t mean tippy toes, necessary for navigating the cluttered stairs… but apparently you are full of surprises!)

 

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10 Reasons Why…

This is apparently “Anniversary Month” at our house.

 
• Last week marked one year since we created a unique & appealing crawl space above our refrigerator.
• This week marks my Blogiversary (the one year anniversary of this blog – WOW, time has really flown!) 

AND…. perhaps even more important…

• This upcoming weekend will mark our 7 year wedding anniversary (more on this later in the week!)

 

In honor of anniversary month, I’ve decided to note all the reasons I love my dear hubby (read as:  put up with all his annoying behaviors).  Because let’s be honest, if hubby didn’t have at least some redeeming qualities I would have run screaming from the house a little over 7 years ago! 

 

And, in true Hubby Diaries fashion… I will of course put my own spin on my top 10 list!    So, here we go….

 

10 Reasons I Love My Hubby

 

10.  I only catch him rolling his eyes at me occasionally (and this is usually when I’m singing commercial jingles or 70s songs while we’re in public)

9.    He, more often than not, changes the toilet paper roll (and he agrees that it should ALWAYS roll OVER and not under!!)

8.    When he leaves piles of dirty clothes in the bathroom they are almost always laying on the tub rather than on the floor (I try to celebrate small victories!)

7.    He tries to keep our bedroom clean (this is of course by filling his closet & drawers with trash & crap – and, I suppose this would actually be “clean” if  I never opened any of these secret hiding places)

6.    He helps me practice my linguistic skills by making me repeat myself over and over and over and over………

5.    Sometimes he empties the dishwasher 

4.    He ALWAYS leaves at least one, solitary, lonely cookie in the box (although I’m still not sure if this is because he’s thinking of me OR because he doesn’t want to have to be the one to throw away the box)

3.    His food quirks provide me with endless hours of entertainment

2.    He ensures that our house is always filled with the biggest, best & newest technology (No, hubby… this does not mean it’s time for a new TV!) 

And the #1 reason why I love my hubby…..

 

1.   He puts up with the fact that I blog about every silly little thing that he does!!

 

(and, after a full year of blogging… he still provides me with more material than I know what to do with!!!)

 

I can’t believe a year has gone by since I started this blog.   THANK YOU  for reading and for sharing this site with your friends!  (WHAT??? You haven’t been sharing this with your friends??  Well, then go on…  send an email, post on facebook, send a tweet.  What relationship can’t use a bit of humor!!??)

 

Today I went back and read my very first post:  Do Things Change When You Get Married?.  And I realized that even after 7 years of “hubby training” my original comments still stand true:

 

When a Woman Gets Married She’s Thinking: “I’m so excited to share my life with someone… now that there are 2 of us, we’ll be able to get twice as much done!” 

 

When a Man Gets Married He’s Thinking:  “Cool, now that there’s someone else sharing the work, I’ll only have to do half as much!”

 

And every day I remember that I truly am a lucky gal!  🙂

 

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