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Posts Tagged ‘electronics’

I’ve mentioned that I’ve been having an incredibly busy time at work lately.  This includes many long work days and a heck of a lot of evening events & dinners.  BUT, I happen to work in an industry that also comes with a variety of perks… and last week I got to enjoy one of these perks.

 

So all week long, I was running around our house singing  dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun  or maybe it’s da-da-da, da-da-da  

(I’ve never been all that good “writing out” onomatopoeia.  AND, the mere fact that I just got to incorporate the word onomatopoeia into a blog post has just about Made-My-Week!)

 

Anyhooo… if you have no idea what I’m talking about just click on one of those words above and you’ll get to listen to the audio clip that hubby had to hear every 12.6 seconds, all week long.  But of course, since I was personally singing my version, it was far more soulful and vibrant and ok, who am I kidding….. probably just irritating….

 

You see, due to a corporate partnership, I was lucky enough to host a group from work on a private tour through ESPN Studios in Bristol,CT (which, by the way, is in the middle of butt-frickin’ no where!).

 

So, all week long I had to remind hubby that I was going to ESPN and he was not.  Yeah, I’m a pain like that…….

 

It was actually a very cool experience.  We toured the entire campus; control rooms, sets, research areas, radio studios and so on.  We saw a few “celebrities”, you know the kind you’d find on SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight.

 

Afterwards, I remembered that I had a hubby (ok, just kidding) and I bought him a few items from the gift shop…  See, I really am a good wife….

 

So, when I came home I was relaying some details of my day to my jealous hubby and I said something like… “You want to know one of the coolest things I saw??”

Hubby replied:  “Sure”

Me:  “Ok, well they took us in this one room to see a promo tape they were working on for ESPN in 3D!”

Hubby:  “Are you sure you want to tell me this…..”

Me:  “It was so cool”

Hubby: “I’m just saying… it’s in your best interest not to tell me this….”

Me: “What do you mean?  It was wild, they gave us 3D glasses and we watched this video compilation of all these different sports.  The 3D was AMAZING!  It was awesome the way some of the players jumped out at you, how real it felt, how…..”

Hubby: “I don’t think you’re listening to me….. you should not be telling me this…..”

Me:  “What do you mean?”.

Hubby:  “Probably not a good idea to tell me how cool the 3D was….”

 

And then, slowly, I begin to realize what’s happening……

 

Me:  “Uhmmmm…. yeah, NO.. you are not getting a 3D TV”

Hubby:  “I told you, it wasn’t a good idea to tell me….”

Me:  “Yeah, but it was truly really cool.  The spectators were, like, coming out of the TV.  The coolest were the shots of the snowboarders & skateboarders as they jumped off their half pipes in the air… they were suspended there in 3D….  it was so friggin’ awesome!!”

Hubby:  “You’re doing it again….”

Me: “But……ahhhh….. ”

Hubby:  “Now, I want a 3D TV”

Me:  “Ok, I’ll shut up now.  It wasn’t a very good trip anyway.  By the way……I brought you this hat……..”

 

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably realize that I’ve opened up a whole can of worms and that, quite possibly, I am my own worst enemy.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about I suggest you read some of the previous posts about my dear hubby and our TV “history”.  You can find some of them here, here and  here.

 

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It’s certainly no secret that hubby likes his electronics.


The researching, the gadgetry, the speed, the newness, the “cool factor”.. they are all important to him.


So, about 4 months ago when hubby declared “Only 4 months until I’m up for a new cell phone”, I knew I was in trouble.


He started researching his options. He read chat boards, user reviews and internet articles. All trying to answer the heavily weighted question of Droid vs iPhone. We’d sit in front of the tv and he’d recap his learnings from the day. He’d talk about technology, features and apps until he lulled me into a deep sleep. He’d swing back and forth between the options like a pendulum swinging between ‘huge mistake’ and ‘absolute awesomeness’. Ultimately determining that the Droid was the option that would provide the most Awesomeness.


But I suppose the most important thing in this pre-planning stage was the vigor with which he researched and the timeline that he set for himself. I mean, with 4 months lead time, most people could build an extension on their homes or possibly conduct extensive disease research. But for hubby it was the appropriate timeline to take on the project of picking a new phone.. something a lesser man could potentially do in say, 15 minutes at the Verizon store. Anyhow, the day finally arrived when hubby’s contract allowed for a new phone upgrade and he ran like wild horses to the store.


This was about 4 weeks ago…. and I haven’t seen hubby since.


This is NOT hubby... but I'm pretty sure this is how he envisions himself as a Fruit Ninja

Ok, slight exaggeration. I see hubby all the time. I see him on the couch with his new toy. I see him on the computer googling recommended app options. I see him sling-shotting birds to kill pigs. I see him erecting bridges to support trains full of people. I see him Facebooking, and Foursquaring and looking at constellations. I also hear hubby. I hear him changing ring tones. I hear him getting email alerts. I hear him slashing fruit as he pretends he’s a fruit ninja. I hear him playing games and surfing the internet.


Yes, hubby has started an affair with his new Thunderbolt. And now, in order to communicate with hubby as I sit next to him, I need to send him an email or text message……. we have become those people!


Just what we needed, yet another distraction for him. Now he sits in the middle of the room, surrounded by crumbs, empty soda cans, crumbled paper towels and tumbleweeds of dog hair as he plays with his angry birds…


If only they made some sort of cleaning app….. then maybe we’d both be equally excited about his new phone!


Where’s the app for THAT??

 

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Well, I lost the most recent TV battle with hubby.

 

I’ve mentioned, oh I don’t know, maybe 20 or so times in this blog, how important a TV is in our household.  In case you missed any of the posts you can read some (here, here & here).   As an outsider you probably think it’s absurd that I talk about electronics so much and, I can assure you, that as an insider I think it’s far more absurd than you do!

 

I have to take a teeny, tiny piece of responsibility for the most recent misstep but, it’s amazing how quickly things spiraled out of control.  Before I knew it, there was Googling, trips to Costco, CNET reviews, and then the ultimate losing proposition…. The-Trip-To-Best-Buy (this must be said in the most ominous voice possible)

 

I’d like to walk you through the most recent events so you can see exactly where I went wrong… and, hopefully you can learn from my mistakes.

 

Hubby & I participate in an office football pool.  We had a great end to this past season as I wound up winning the “suicide” pool and hubby wound up winning the overall, full season pool.  As a couple we got a nice envelope with our winnings at the end of the regular season.  So, mistakenly I say (this is where I opened the proverbial can of worms) “Hon, do you think you’re going to buy yourself a present with some of your winnings?”.

 

Now… I’d like to take a moment to go step-by-step through the things that were actually going on in my head when I said this. 

  • Hubby works hard.
  • Hubby just won a good amount of money and wouldn’t it be nice if he “rewarded” himself with a new present. 
  • Yes, we have bills and we have household projects on the long term to do list but, most of the money will go in the bank.
  • He’ll probably buy something like a video game or a new blue ray DVD.  Maybe even a nice bottle of scotch? 

 

But alas, these suggestions never actually came out of my mouth.  All I said was “new present”.. and, all he heard was “new present”. 

 

Hubby didn’t respond right away, but he mumbled something like “hmmmmm..buy myself something, I hadn’t really thought about that”. And…I think this is the exact moment where I started to lose control.

 

The next thing I know, hubby is emailing me links to new TVs from work.  New TVs? I still don’t think there’s anything wrong with our existing TV! (you can read about it’s supposed “blurring” problem here).  So, I’m like.. “Whoa dude… slow down.  What happened to a new video game or DVD?”  And, he’s like… “Huh?? You never said anything about a video game”.  And I’m all, “well, I may never have said anything but, that’s sort of what I had in my mind when I mentioned you should buy yourself something”.  And, he’s like “oh, well that’s not what I was thinking at all…. so, did you look at that link I sent you?”.

 

And at that moment, I could feel it all slipping away.   Here I was, the one who planted this seed in his head… this was ALL MY FAULT!

 

So, as we enter the ring, I’m prepared for our battle…and for 2 weeks we dance & we weave.  I hear about nothing but differences between LCD & LED TVs, recaps of industry debates over how to light LEDs… side lit, back lit, white lights, soft white lights, refresh rates, megahertz, Samsung, Sony….

AAAAHHHHHHHHH…. Just make it stop!! 

The tape measure comes out.. he measures, he re-measures.  55 inches.. 60 inches…. $1500 … $2000.  My world is spiraling out of control.. and I realize that I’m beginning to tire.  He’s wearing me down.  I keep swinging but it’s like I never touch him, he just keeps coming back at me.

 

Then it comes.  He hits me with the knock-out punch.  The TV he finally decides on, costs FAR more than the money he won in the football pool.  Can somebody please tell me how “buying yourself something with your winnings” went from a token item to taking money out of the bank to ADD to his winnings to buy a new TV??  All to solve a “blurring problem” that I swear I cannot even see?

 

Then, as I’m swooning from this punch.. he reaches out with the lightest of touches, and with a fingertip, he sends me falling to the ground in slow motion.  This lovely gesture came via another email outlining his well thought out argument about how he’s “earned” this tv.  “I’ve worked extra hard lately, I won the football pool, I got a bonus at work this year blah.. blah… blah… blah….”  [can you feel the heartstring tugs?]….But he’s not done yet….  “I know I’ll never be truly happy with my current TV, but I guess, if you’re totally against this, I suppose the one we have is good enough”  [he’s no longer tugging, he’s moved onto daggers through my heart]  Then, as I fall to the floor, I’m wrapped in amazing warmth as he gingerly covers me with this blanket of guilt.  So cozy and yet so heavy.  And, as I try to hang on to my senses, and I try to get back up, I realize that it’s time to admit defeat and I whisper to him … 

 

JUST BUY THE FRIGGIN’ TV…. I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

 
And that, my dear blog readers is how I lost the TV battle with my hubby.

 

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Many people say that bigger is better.

 

As far as men go, I think the best example of this theory can be seen with TVs.  If I had to guess, I’d say that TV Envy is probably a pretty common male trait.   And, as you may have read in my Marriage TruthsA TV is never big enough.

 

Somehow a man is a better man, with a big TV.  It’s some sort of an outward and unspoken sign of; manliness, importance and coolness, all rolled into one.

 

Let me share some examples:

 

During our basement Man Cave renovation, hubby was given a 50”Class TV … but, what the box actually said was… 49.9”.  And, he was “mocked” relentlessly by his friends that he didn’t have a 50” TV.  (gotta love boys being boys!).  We wound up having a problem with this TV and when we replaced it, hubby got a TV that was officially 52 inches.  (phew.…all is right with the world!)

 

Why am I thinking about this now?  Well, I’d like to share a story from this past week.

 

Hubby was outside mowing the lawn.  The end of his “chore season” is upon us.  No more outdoor work  = no more hubby chores?  (Hold on just one sec… there’s no way that’s gonna work.  I guess that’s a post for a different day……) Anyhow, he’s outside and our neighbor pulls into his driveway.  I have to be honest, I’m not sure if hubby went over to chat him up OR he came over to puff out his chest…(the meaning of this will become clear in a moment).  But, either way they wind up talking for a while outside.

 

Hubby comes inside not long after his conversation with our neighbor.

 

Hubby:  “Guess what Vinny got!” childlike enthusiasm

Me:  “What?”

Hubby:  “He just bought a new TV!”

Me: only half listening “That’s nice”

Hubby: “It’s 55 inches!!”  hubby is drooling with envy

Me: “You have a big TV” still not entirely paying attention

Hubby: “Not that big” pouting

Me: “Sorry honey, I can only imagine how hard it is to not have the biggest TV on the block anymore”

Dramatic pause..

Hubby:  “Guess what…”

Me:  “What?

Hubby:  “Well, Vinny couldn’t fit the TV AND his family into the car so he left them at the store”

Me: “ WHAT?” ok… I’m listening now..

Hubby:  “He had Lynn and the kids with him and they couldn’t all fit in the car so, he brought the TV home and left them there” obviously proud of Vinny’s ingenuity

Me: “Wait.. he left Lynn & the kids at the store and brought the TELEVISION home??”

Hubby: “Yep!” as if this was the only decision that makes any sense

Me: “I’m still not sure I get it… the TV came home BEFORE his family?”

Hubby:  smiling “Yep!”

 

Now, before you all start to question the sanity & behavior of Vinny… please understand that I later found out that he didn’t actually leave them at the store.  He took them to a neighboring store to do more shopping while he brought the TV home.  But, in true hubby-storytelling-form I was not getting all the information until I asked about 10 follow-up questions.

 

So,  based on the following behaviors:

  • Vinny’s behavior:  Coming over to ”puff out his chest” and show off his new TV
  • Hubby’s behavior:  Supporting the decision to put the TV above all else

 

The following things appear to be true:

  • Men seem to feel the need to outdo each other at every turn when it comes to electronics. 
  • Electronics seem to always get their attention even when other important things are involved.
  • The tide can turn rather quickly, once another man makes a new purchase.

 

Do I even need to tell you what hubby talked about for the next hour?? 

 

Well, we discussed how we could rearrange our house to accommodate a 70” TV.  Or perhaps this could better be described as hubby discussing rearranging for a new imaginary TV… WITH HIMSELF.

 

(I don’t think he’s realized that he’s not the only one who can employ Selective Listening when it’s necessary!!  🙂 )

 

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