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Posts Tagged ‘food’

Who Moved My Cheese?

Quite a while ago I wrote a post calling hubby a “bad looker forer”.  (Yes, I do sometimes make up my own words.) 

 

This post discussed the widespread phenomenon of men being unable to locate basic items.  These items are generally not lost, or misplaced or even necessarily hard to find.  More times than not, they are in plain sight and screaming out “Here I am, Here I am” as a man gives a cursory glance right over the item and then declares he cannot find it!

 

So, here I am more than a year after writing that original post, writing about  it all over again.  Because even after a year, hubby has still not honed his viewing skills.  As someone with 20/20 eyesight, this is just mind boggling to me!

 

Last night we are discussing dinner.  We’ve both been working a ton and there are not a lot of food options in the house.

Hubby says…. “I’m hungry, what should we do for dinner?”

“I don’t know, do you want to order something?” I reply.

“Like what?

“I don’t know… Chinese?”

“No way…. I totally don’t want Chinese.”

“Italian?”

“Nope.”

“Do you want to pick something up?  Like Chili’s, or Applebee’s or maybe some boneless wings from that place down the road?”

“No.. I don’t think so”

“Ok, you’re killing me… what the heck to do you want then?  A burrito from Chipotle?”

“I had a burrito yesterday.”

“Since when does that matter…. I thought you were the guy who could eat a burrito every day, forever?”

“Nahhhh… no burritos tonight”

“Ok then, I don’t know what to tell you….  I think we have a frozen DiGiorno pizza, or some stuffed chicken?  How about pasta?  I think we have a jar of that vodka sauce we like.”

And….. here’s where it starts.

Hubby says, “Actually I thought about pasta. But, I looked and we don’t have any vodka sauce”

“Are you positive?  I’m pretty sure we have some.”

“I’m sure.  I looked for it.  But, you do always say I’m a “bad looker forer” so feel free to check” he says in his most challenging way……..

 

Lo and behold.. there’s vodka sauce in the pantry.

 

Dinner is ready….. and right after Hubby spoons the vodka sauce over the pasta, he opens the fridge, and calls across the room.  “Oh no… we don’t have any cheese!”

“Yes we do.”

“Nope… I’m looking in the fridge it’s not here.”

From across the room I say, “It’s on the first shelf, all the way to the left, by the wine holder…”

“Ahhh” he replies “I see it”.

Yes, of course you do.

 

You know, dear hubby, if you actually opened your eyes when you look for things you might actually find them….

 

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By now you’re probably realizing that my dear hubby has far more quirks than the normal guy…

 

You may have also realized that many of his idiosyncrasies have to do with food items.  Whether it’s flattening his cheese, trying new foods or avoiding items that “require too much work”, hubby likes stuff just a certain way.

 

Over the years I’ve come to accept most of these quirks although, I’ll admit, I never pass up the opportunity to make fun of him every now and then… after all, how else would I find things to blog about??

 

Today’s quirk comes to you courtesy of a story about hubby actually performing a chore at our house.  I know, I’ll give you a moment to sit down.  It is shocking after all.  And, you may even need another moment after I tell you which chore he actually did.

 

Are you ready for it??  Hubby took dishes out of the sink and put them into the dishwasher.  OH MY!  It must have been a magical day.  Either that or he was feeling mighty generous and he offered the fairies a mental health day.  Either way, rather than putting items into the sink, he was actually taking them out of it.  (I was giddy with joy!!)

 

Here’s where this new quirk comes in…. (well, it’s not a new quirk.. but it’s new to the blog….)

 

As he removed a dish from the sink he commented.. “This isn’t a tuna fish bowl…. You made tuna fish in an ice cream bowl!”.  I replied.. “You’re kidding right?”.  And of course he said..”Nope not kidding.  You put tuna into an ice cream bowl”.

 

Now for those of you with all your mental faculties, you’re probably thinking.. what the heck is he talking about? A bowl, is a bowl, is a bowl.  And, many years ago I was right there with you, but I’ve learned through our marriage that sometimes it’s easier to just entertain hubby’s moments of craziness.

 

So of course I say to him “Ok honey, which bowl should I have put it in?”  And, he says.. “well, the green bowls are the tuna bowls”.  Ah yes, the green bowls…. Silly me!

 

Hubby has actually has decided that certain bowls in our house serve a defined purpose. 

We have ice cream bowls.

 

We have cereal bowls.

 

We have tuna fish bowls.

 

We have pasta bowls.

 

 

I can assure you that messing with the designated usage of each bowl could quite possibly throw the entire universe out of whack.

 

Not only are certain bowls assigned to certain tasks but hubby will actually clean a dirty bowl if necessary, in order to have the right bowl for the right food item.  Yes, just in case you missed that statement…. My hubby will forego all his other chore-avoiding tendencies to remove a dirty “ice cream” bowl from the dishwasher and wash it in the sink if he wants to eat ice cream. 

 

There is, in fact, an ice cream eating ritual when it comes to using the correct tools.  I kid you not.  Not only is there an ice cream bowl BUT, there’s a specific ice cream spoon that MUST be used to put the ice cream into the bowl.  Simply no other utensil will do. Not a big metal spoon, not an alternative scoop….  Nope, there is one and only one type of bowl and one and only one type of scoop…

 

And don’t even get me going on glassware… there’s the water glass, the milk glass, the protein shake mug… I think you get the (absurd) picture!

 

Yes, my dear blog readers… this is how things roll in our house…..don’t you wish you could come over for a visit??

 

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If you’ve been reading for a while, you may have realized that hubby has a few quirks.    If you’re new here… let it be known, hubby has more than a few quirks!

 

A few of these quirks have to do with food.  Some examples would be:  Flattening his food, eating all the snacks & the allocation of twizzlers.

 

A while back I posted about how, when I met hubby, there were about 3 things that circulated through his consumption menu.  Little by little we’ve introduced him to additional foods.  Many of these foods have gone from “I’d never, ever eat that”, to “WOW, this is fantastic and I could probably eat it every single day”.  Or, “WOW, these are good! I think this is one of my new favorite things.” (For your enjoyment:  here’s a link to an older post about hubby’s introduction to sushi & shredded pork)  But, even after hubby has realized that it’s good to have an open mind and that occasionally you may actually be introduced to something new that’s awesome, there are still some food battles I cannot seem to win.

 

The specific battle I’m talking about is Work vs Reward foods.

 

Now, if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’re not alone because when hubby first told me of this life mantra, I was all like “Huh?  That doesn’t even make any sense!”  But if you know me at all, then you also know that I utter that phrase weekly, if not daily, when I’m talking to hubby.

 

So, let me explain.  Apparently there are foods out there in the universe that require “too much work” to eat.  These foods also apparently provide “too little reward” as compared to the energy required for consumption.  Yeah, I don’t really get it either.  I mean, if we’re talking about shucking oysters then maybe I can get on board with that statement…. BUT, we’re not talking about oysters.  We’re talking about, oh let’s say, corn on the cob.   Yes, corn on the cob.   This is one item on hubby’s list of foods he won’t eat because it “requires too much work”.

 

It’s not uncommon for me to stop at the farmers market during the summer to buy some amazing, fresh corn on the cob.  We do after all live in Jersey and Jersey (for those of you that don’t know this) is known for some awesome fresh, & sweet corn on the cob.  Anyhow, I’ve learned over the years to only buy as much corn as I can personally eat.  Because when I cook dinner I only make one ear of corn for myself since hubby will not eat it!

 

Here’s a summer conversation with hubby from early in our relationship.

 

Me:  with much excitement  “Hey babe.. I bought some corn on the cob today… it looks fantastic”

Hubby:  “Yeah, that’s nice.”

Me: “You don’t like corn on the cob?”

Hubby: “No, not really…”

Me:  “Is this like the time you told me you don’t like pickles?”

Hubby:  “Nope, it’s not like that”

Me:  “Cause you know…. After you tried the pickles, you decided you loved them”

Hubby:  “Yes, I know I loved the pickles but this is not the same.  I don’t like corn on the cob”

Me: “What do ya mean, you ‘don’t like it’ ?  You like corn, I’ve seen you eat it!?”

Hubby:  “Yeah, I like corn, but I don’t eat corn on the cob”

Me:  utterly confused  “I don’t get it.   You do realize it’s the same thing right?”

Hubby:  “It’s not the same thing at all.  Corn on the cob is work.  Eating should not require work”

Me: “Ok, you’ve lost me here.  Eating corn on the cob is work?”

Hubby:  “Yes, you have to bite off all the corn, then some of it gets stuck in your teeth.  It’s a pain in the ass and it’s so not worth the effort!”

Me: “You’re crazy, you know that?

Hubby: “I may be, but I’m a crazy person who doesn’t eat corn on the cob!”

Just for the record… I did actually offer to cut off the corn kernels from the ear of the corn (just like you would for a little kid!), but somehow this is an unacceptable solution to his aversion to corn on the cob.  So, from this day forward I only buy 1 or 2 ears and I happily eat them while hubby goes without any vegetables.

 

This Work vs Reward issue extends far beyond corn on the cob. 

 

It also applies to any type of ribs.  Apparently there’s “not enough meat on the bone” to enjoy a rack of ribs.  You get “too messy & not enough food” for all the effort you need to put into them.  And, of course, running really close in second (or 3rd) place is a similar item (generally loved by most men).. buffalo wings on the bone.  Now, I’m not sure how many men out there would be too bothered to shove a hot wing into their mouth and pull off all the chicken but for hubby, this particular item falls into the too messy & too little reward category.

 

I think this life mantra does indeed trickle into other areas of our home..(although he’s never said it out loud)

 

  • I think it might be too much work to make the bed.
  • It could possibly be too much work to wipe crumbs off the counter
  • It’s definitely too much work to fold laundry

 

I actually don’t know which measurement tool accurately assesses work vs reward, but hubby seems to be confident that his work vs reward meter is accurate.
 

If you ask me however…. I’m not 100% sure that hubby’s tool is calibrated properly.

 

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A vacation dinner conversation.

 

Me: “What do you think you’re gonna have?”

Hubby: “I’m not sure, I’m between the salmon or the chicken”

Me: “Really?”

Hubby: “Yeah why?”

Me: “I don’t know… I guess cause I read the whole menu, and I was pretty sure you’d decide on the pork”

Hubby: “The pork, really?

Me: “Yeah, they have a shredded Mayan pork”

Hubby: “I like that?”

Me: “Well, you love pulled pork, don’t you?”

Hubby: “Yeah, I guess so”

Me: “Then why wouldn’t you like this pork?”

Hubby: “Uhm… I don’t know…”

Dinnner arrives.

 

Hubby: “This is one of the best dinners I’ve had”

Me: “I figured you’d like it”

Hubby: “I guess I forgot that I liked pork”

Me: “Why do I know what you eat better than you do?”

Hubby:  “I have no idea.. but thanks!”

I’ve mentioned that hubby has come a long way with regard to expanding his food choices beyond hamburgers, pizza and pasta but I think sometimes, even years later, he forgets that his new repertoire is rather large.  And, he definitely has trouble translating the fact that he enjoys a particular taste to trying a new food item.

Hubby has many idiosyncrasies when it comes to food (which I’ll have to explore in other posts). But, I think he’s finally settled into a happy place and he’s open to trying almost all new things.

Although there was that one Ginger Incident that I think has irreparably damaged him.

One of my happiest days was convincing hubby to try sushi.  In my eyes, this was a huge accomplishment because when I first met hubby he “didn’t eat seafood”.  Not just a couple of items, this was a proud declaration he made that any and all seafood items were disgusting.  So, little by little I introduced him to light, white flaky fishes.. “oh, these are pretty good”.  Then we moved to steak like fishes “wow, these are really good”.  So, I felt pretty excited to start a slow sushi introduction… and, all was going well until the ginger.

Hubby:  “What’s this pink stuff?’

Me: “It’s actually ginger”

Hubby: “What do you do with it?”

Me: “Well, I actually don’t like it, but a lot of people love it.  Some people put it on their sushi, other people just eat pieces of it.  It’s used as a palate cleanser and it’s supposed to aid with digestion.”

Hubby: “Will I like it?”

Me: “I have no idea.. you should just try it.  I personally think it’s gross, but like I said, many people love it”

Hubby: “You don’t like it.. but I should try it??”

Me: “Yes, you should try it”

Hubby: (pops a piece into his mouth …… gagging, spitting, choking sounds…). “What the Hell?  Why did you make me eat that?”

Me: (giggling) “I told you I thought it was gross”

Hubby: “But you didn’t tell me it would be the worst thing I ever put into my mouth”

Me: “Honey, how would you know if you didn’t like something if you never tried it? Now you know, and you never have to eat it again”

Hubby: “Yeah but, I’m not sure if I can ever trust you again”

What’s the takeaway from this ?? Well, every single time after the Ginger Incident that I’ve suggested that hubby try something new I get… “Is this gonna be anything like that ginger, cause if it is, I’m gonna hate you……”

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