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Posts Tagged ‘Giants’

Well, it’s been a crazy couple weeks at The Hubby Diaries household. 

New cars…. oral surgery, a Superbowl….. and some other things that I can’t blog about just yet…..    Sorry for disappearing but sometime life just gets in the way of blog time! 

So, to bring you slightly up-to-speed, I thought I’d share the events of last weekend.

 

I’ve mentioned before that hubby is a Giants fan…. we even own season tickets.

 

I’ve also mentioned that hubby, like many absurd football fans, likes to uphold certain rituals or superstitions when it comes to watching his Boys in Blue.

 

Well, as you likely know, the Giants won the Superbowl this past weekend.   The hooting & hollering at my house were something to behold BUT, the story here is not about the game itself but rather the ritual surrounding the game and game(s) leading up until the Superbowl.  If you recall, I mentioned that hubby feels the need to envelope himself in superstition when it comes to watching football.   In case you’re wondering, the new grill we bought for tailgating this season is still sitting unopened, in our garage.

 

So ever since the play offs started, we needed to employ new rituals.  The development of these rituals was originally unbeknownst to me but somehow, someway, I got pulled into the madness.

 

You see, when the Giants played in their first play off game this season we had a “normal” Sunday and hubby came home to plant himself in front of the tv, in the Man Cave, to cheer on his boys.   From my perspective nothing special happened this day.  From hubby’s perspective… at least after the game ended with a Giants win…  we had set the precedent for all activity that must occur to ensure we have paid our dues to the superstition God’s of Football, so that the Giants would continue to play well.

 

Apparently now…….

 

There was an outfit that must be worn

There was a place where hubby had to sit

There was a specific beer glass hubby needed to drink from

There was the pre-game, video game that must be played

He must only speak to certain people

He must watch the game by himself

 

And……(this is the part I hadn’t bargained for…………..)

 

There was a place we needed to eat lunch the day of the game

There were specific menu items that needed to be ordered at said lunch, on the day of the game.

 

Now, I was blindly unaware of these details on this the first weekend.  So, on the 2nd play off weekend when hubby declared.  “Well, we’re gonna have to go to Panera for lunch today”.   I innocently asked “Why?” 

 

And then apparently I needed to be schooled on the necessary ritual that had to occur, each and every time the Giants played this year, so as not upset the Football Gods.  And so, we went to Panera.  I dutifully ordered the same meal and then, when we returned home,  I watched hubby meticulously set up his viewing area with more attention that I’d ever seen him give to any area of our home.  (I only wish he could use the same attention to detail to say, clean the bathroom…..)  And then viola  the Giants won again.  This of course only solidified hubby’s insanity.

 

So, on Superbowl Sunday, I can’t say I was surprised when I found myself at Panera, eating tomato soup and 1/2 a sandwich, as we set the wheels in motion for the Giants to win. 

 

All I have to say is….. You’re welcome Giants fans.    It’s beyond obvious to me that hubby now has the power to influence the outcome of the game from his couch.   Now if only I could figure out a way to harness this power for other vastly more  important things…………

 

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Ahhhh  superstition…….

 

It’s what keeps us from walking under ladders (probably a good practice – and this is coming from someone who did just this and had a hammer dropped on her head when she was young!).  – No comments from the peanut gallery please…..

 

It’s what keeps us knocking on wood.

 

It’s what keeps us from opening umbrellas indoors.

 

It’s what keeps dancing hamsters on top of TVs

 

It’s what keeps people cooking on broken grills.

 

It’s what keeps us taking HUGE breaths to blow out birthday candles.

 

WAIT…… WHAT????

 

Oh right, I probably lost you up there somewhere between umbrellas and birthday cakes.

 

That’s because THOSE superstitions are what keep my hubby up at night.

 

 

Please let me explain…………..

 Here’s a conversation from earlier this week.

 

Hubby:  “That was a crazy GIANTS game!”

Me:  “It sure was.  I almost can’t believe they pulled off that win”  not really caring all that much……

Hubby:  “I’m glad I wasn’t at the stadium to watch that mess”

Me:  “Yeah, I suppose a trip to Cabo was a good excuse to miss a game” 

Me:  “Speaking of Giants games.  Have you guys been using the new grill for tailgating?”

Hubby:  “Actually no.”

Me:  “But why not, I thought you said the old one was broken?”

Hubby:  “It is.  But somebody’s brother’s, friend’s, girlfriend’s, uncle happened to have a spare top for the Exact. Same. Grill!  How cool is that??!!”

Me:  “I’m sure it’s cool.  But, didn’t we buy a new portable grill just this summer to replace your broken grill?”

Hubby:  “Yes, we did.  It’s in the garage”

Me:  “In the garage….????”

Hubby: “Yep, in the garage.  It’s actually still in the box.”  he so matter-of-factly states…….

Me: “I don’t get it”.  it’s not all that uncommon that hubby and I are speaking different languages……. “Why wouldn’t you be using a brand new grill?  Isn’t it even better than the one you’ve been using the past few years?”

Hubby:  “Yes, it’s better.. and even slightly larger.”

Me: “Uhmmmm, ok.  So then, why wouldn’t you be using it?”

Hubby:  “Superstition.   We’ve thought it over, and we simply can’t change the grill that we’ve been using for years”

 

And there you have it.

 

Apparently if hubby were to change grills for the football season, it would send a destructive and otherwise irreparable message to the Football Gods of Superstition, and the Giants would obviously have a horrible season.  (I surmise that hubby may have already messed up some other superstition since the Giants have, in fact, been squeezing out some very  ‘messy’ wins this season without any interference at all from grill alterations……. but hey, that’s just me.)

 

Just so you have a visual understanding of how a superstitious tailgating set up might appear, I thought I’d share an image of the exact layout that occurs to ensure that the Giants performance is not impacted by hubby or his friends.

 

 

 

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Well, it’s that time of year again.  The time of M-E-N. 

 

The time where boys celebrate their manliness by screaming themselves hoarse, throwing back countless beers and freezing their cojones off .

 

In case you’re not following along…. I’ll be more clear:

 

It’s FOOTBALL SEASON.

 

This is also the time where a tiny little flying pigskin becomes ever-so-important and the desire to watch overdeveloped grown men bash into each other, supersedes all other things.

 

As you can probably assume…. This is a special time for hubby & me! (and, just in case you are not good at reading sarcasm….. go back & re-read that last sentence and when you say “special” make sure it’s just oozing w/ sarcasm)

 

As hubby so kindly likes to remind me, in full detail….football lasts for only 17 weeks (regular season) AND 4 weeks (pre season) AND 3 weeks (play offs).  And, I should be “thrilled that he only really follows football, and that he’s not like other men who change sporting interests with each season”.  Yes dear hubby, I really am thrilled about that.  Since your focus is so consumed by games,  I might as well hang a sign on our door telling people that you’ve gone away for the winter and no chores will be completed.

 

Yes… I am THRILLED!

 

I should also mention that hubby doesn’t just watch the games from the comfort of his man cave.  He also own season tickets for the Giants.  And just for the record, we’ve had to sell my right kidney, a chunk of his liver and our first 3 unborn children to afford the license & tickets at the new stadium… but it was sooooooo worth it (yes, that’s sarcasm again……).

 

Anyhow, as you may have guessed….  nothing happens in our house on a day where there’s a home game.  Arguably, nothing even gets done in our house the day before a home game, as hubby needs time to “prep” for a game.

 

Prepping includes the following things:

  • Getting tailgating items together
  • Grocery shopping for tailgating food (interesting that this is one of the few times hubby sets foot in the grocery store…..)
  • A trip to the liquor store
  • And, perhaps the most important ritual… an evening of playing a “practice” game of Madden Football in his man cave –  to clinch the win for his Boys in Blue.

 

So, by my calculations, that’s 24 weeks where hubby is unavailable due to a game. 10 of which suck up 2 full days… if you include his “prep”time.

 

And I’ll admit, it takes me quite a few weeks to remember that I’m on my own for the next 5-6 months.

 

Just this past week, some friends asked us to join them for dinner on Saturday night…. And, I quickly checked my calendar and accepted their invitation (hubby is almost never involved in coordinating our social calendar due to his inability to gather information!).  But after I spoke to hubby, he was like  “no can do on dinner.. there’s a Giants game”.  “Oh crap, it’s already that time??” I replied.  So, I was back on the phone canceling our dinner plans. 

 

 

And so it begins.  I have become a football widow.

 

If you used to read my unemployment blog you know that I posted about this exact same phenomenon last year.  And, if you were a reader last year, then you also know that it’s only a matter of time before the Dancing Hamster makes it’s re-appearance.

 

 

I suppose that there are indeed some positives that come from hubby’s football interest.  I mean, after all, I do get quite a few quiet weekends to do whatever I want. 

 

And, I guess it’s just too bad for hubby that I have to actually walk through the man cave to get to the laundry room…. Cause, you all know how he feels about Sunday’s being a “Day of Rest”.  And for me, football or no football, Sundays are a day to get stuff done!

 

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