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Posts Tagged ‘Honest Toddler’

There are a few life events that can very easily overwhelm you emotionally, in ways you’d never imagined.

 

If you think I’m about to talk about having babies or celebrating first steps….. you are WAY wrong.  There are far more significant, emotional moments in every-day-life.

toiletseatUP

Take for instance, the first time after your blissful new marriage to the love of your life, that you stumble into the bathroom in the middle of the night only to plop your little tushy right down into a wet, open toilet.  Yep, those are emotions that you never thought you could have…. Certainly not half asleep as you dry off your ass and consider (if only for a moment) about scooping up a cup of toilet water and throwing it on your adorable, slumbering, new hubby.  But, you stop yourself realizing that if you did toss a cup of toilet water on him… it would be all over the bed where you are also sleeping and that your hubby likely has no concept of how to launder the sheets… Thus, you’d be doing nothing but compromising your own sleep environment and creating more laundry to do the next day.

 

Or, how about the moment when that very same toilet seat is down, but loose, and you go to sit only to realize you’re sitting with too much force (or you shouldn’t have eaten that extra bowl of ice cream last night) and you slide sideways across the toilet and you’re no longer properly aligned, but you’ve had a baby (and obviously not done enough kegels!), and you’ve held it as long as you possibly could but now you’re peeing sideways and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Now you’re pissed, as you’re pissing and you’re probably wondering how a toilet seat (that never gets put down enough) could be that loose……

 

Or, maybe you’ve cleaned yourself up, inspected the screws and realized that although you almost fell into the bowl, all you need is a screw driver to tighten the seat and all will be ok with the world again.   So you head downstairs to the place where you keep the screw drivers.  Only to realize that the “screw driver spot” is missing said screw driver.  Now, as you screw up your face and try to contain yourself, as you mutter bad words under your breath, you look around and wonder where on earth the screw drive might be.  You think back to the last time you used it.   You know you put it back.  Then you remember the last time you nagged hubby into using it.   You acknowledge, that he has an inability to ever put anything back…. It’s probably one of the biggest reasons he can never find anything.   You feel those emotions start to bubble up…. You think about the last project he did.  You think about how many times you had to ask him to do it.  You think about your wet tushy in the middle of the night.  The loose toilet seat.  The missing screw driver.  You’re overwhelmed with emotion.  You fantasize about finding the screw driver and stabbing your hubby with it as you push his head into the toilet.  (Oh wait… did I take that too far……………..) 

 

You take a deep breath and remember that hubby last used the screw driver upstairs.  You go upstairs and open the closet.  You know the closet…. the one filled with clothes and suits and purses and  hats… and oh yeah, a variety of lost tools.  You find the screw driver.  And, oh by the way… the drill, a hammer, a ball point pen and a level.   You shake your head.   You mumble more curse words.   You look around and realize you’re by yourself mumbling out loud.  You pick up the screw driver.. go to the bathroom… fix the toilet.

 

Then, you stand there for a moment.  You wonder what to do next.  Your emotional side says.. put the screw driver into the bed on hubby’s pillow.  Your rational side says… put the screw driver back in the ‘screw driver spot’ downstairs.  You’re frozen for a moment as your emotional inner self debates what to do next.  Then, you realize you have the answer.  You go back to the closet.  Replace the screw driver.  And then you go to the man cave… grab the tv remote, the game console controller and hubby’s favorite beer glass.  As you make your way back upstairs you walk past his sunglasses in the kitchen.. and just for good measure you grab those too.

 

You head back upstairs, in the most determined, steadfast way you know how.  You open the closet and you place each item neatly next to the hammer, screw driver and the drill.  You smile.  Applesaucy Hubby….. Apple….. Saucy.

 

(and if that last comment means nothing to you please read an incredibly funny blog post HERE by The Honest Toddler that will explain it to you!)

 

 ** Disclaimer – Some (or all) of this post may (or may not) be true in the THD household! **

 

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