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Posts Tagged ‘lost items’

Hello!  I’ve missed you all.  It’s been an insane holiday season filled with family time, illnesses and WAY too much work.   Perhaps you’ve enjoyed the respite from my nutso stories or maybe, just maybe, you’ve been missing me ….. a little bit??

 

Either way, I stole some time from a long list of other things I should be doing to write a post today.

 

I’ve written many times about how difficult it seems to be for men to find things in their own home.  And I’m not talking about the silver pie server that makes an appearance at one dinner every 5-6 years.   Or the cookie cutters that only come out at Christmas time – you know, the ones that hubby probably doesn’t even know we own… even though he partakes in consuming probably 85+% of the cookies, lovingly cut with these and painstakingly decorated each holiday?   I’ve shared stories about him not being able to find things in the pantry that are RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.  I’ve blogged about the mysteriously missing cable modem.  And, I’ve also begrudgingly showed you a picture of a closet where misplaced & “lost” items go to die.

 

I’m always baffled about how most men (more than I can count in my own life) have ZERO idea where many things go.  This is showcased by the miraculous day they empty the dishwasher.  When the stars align, Mercury is in retrograde and they have a moment of complete love, helpfulness, craziness and decide to partake in a household chore (GASP!).  And then, stay with me ladies  – you all know this moment – they stand proudly next to a pile of items they’ve removed from the dishwasher and placed on the counter only to declare that they’ve gone as far as they can with this task because “they have no idea where the rest of the items go….”.  All the while, simultaneously waiting for a pat on the back for all the help they’ve just provided you!!  ****SIGH*****

 

But what’s even more perplexing to me is how they sometimes seem to lack knowledge of many of their own things.  I mean heck, it’s one thing to not know about kitchen items (apparently MY domain – even though I don’t have recollection of accepting this domain as mine).  But, when they forget that they own something, forget where they put their favorite shirt, or belt, or tool… it just doesn’t compute for me!

 

So, take this example and help me to understand.

 

Over the holidays we decided to have some family pictures taken as a surprise gift for my parents.  Mostly grandchildren pictures but we did a few full family shots.  And, like any dorky family picture, we decided to get all matchy-match.  You can groan if you want – Hubby sure did!   Anyhow, part of the plan for our outfits was for everyone to wear brown shoes.

 

So, hubby gets his “brown” shoes and puts them on.  He’s ready to go.

 

I look at his feet and I’m like… “Uhm hon?  Those shoes aren’t brown.”  To which he replies… “sure they are!”.

 

What’s with men and colors?  The shoes he has on are just simply not brown.  Maybe greenish, or some weird dark grey with a bizarre tint to them.    Even now, I’m not 100% sure I can define the color of the shoes he had on.  BUT, they were not brown.

 

So I say to him… “just go grab shoes that are actually brown”.   He gives me that look…. you know the look, the one that says “you’re crazy lady – I don’t know what you’re talking about” look.   Then he speaks, “These are the closest I have to brown… these will have to do”.  So I say, “No, you have actual brown shoes”.  “No I don’t”,  “Yes you do”, “I don’t think so”…. (you can see where this is going).  So, I go upstairs into his closet.  I move around piles of crap, things that have been missing for years (if you don’t remember how he keeps his closet – or drawers – check HERE & HERE) and lo and behold I find brown shoes… and then another pair of brown shoes.  I bring both pairs downstairs.   He looks at them…. “Hummmpf” he says, “I guess I do have brown shoes”……………………………

 

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Who Moved My Cheese?

Quite a while ago I wrote a post calling hubby a “bad looker forer”.  (Yes, I do sometimes make up my own words.) 

 

This post discussed the widespread phenomenon of men being unable to locate basic items.  These items are generally not lost, or misplaced or even necessarily hard to find.  More times than not, they are in plain sight and screaming out “Here I am, Here I am” as a man gives a cursory glance right over the item and then declares he cannot find it!

 

So, here I am more than a year after writing that original post, writing about  it all over again.  Because even after a year, hubby has still not honed his viewing skills.  As someone with 20/20 eyesight, this is just mind boggling to me!

 

Last night we are discussing dinner.  We’ve both been working a ton and there are not a lot of food options in the house.

Hubby says…. “I’m hungry, what should we do for dinner?”

“I don’t know, do you want to order something?” I reply.

“Like what?

“I don’t know… Chinese?”

“No way…. I totally don’t want Chinese.”

“Italian?”

“Nope.”

“Do you want to pick something up?  Like Chili’s, or Applebee’s or maybe some boneless wings from that place down the road?”

“No.. I don’t think so”

“Ok, you’re killing me… what the heck to do you want then?  A burrito from Chipotle?”

“I had a burrito yesterday.”

“Since when does that matter…. I thought you were the guy who could eat a burrito every day, forever?”

“Nahhhh… no burritos tonight”

“Ok then, I don’t know what to tell you….  I think we have a frozen DiGiorno pizza, or some stuffed chicken?  How about pasta?  I think we have a jar of that vodka sauce we like.”

And….. here’s where it starts.

Hubby says, “Actually I thought about pasta. But, I looked and we don’t have any vodka sauce”

“Are you positive?  I’m pretty sure we have some.”

“I’m sure.  I looked for it.  But, you do always say I’m a “bad looker forer” so feel free to check” he says in his most challenging way……..

 

Lo and behold.. there’s vodka sauce in the pantry.

 

Dinner is ready….. and right after Hubby spoons the vodka sauce over the pasta, he opens the fridge, and calls across the room.  “Oh no… we don’t have any cheese!”

“Yes we do.”

“Nope… I’m looking in the fridge it’s not here.”

From across the room I say, “It’s on the first shelf, all the way to the left, by the wine holder…”

“Ahhh” he replies “I see it”.

Yes, of course you do.

 

You know, dear hubby, if you actually opened your eyes when you look for things you might actually find them….

 

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