Posts Tagged ‘magic’

Before I wrap up posts about Christmas, I have one more story about another of hubby’s “behaviors”, that I’d like to share with you.


As you know, Hubby loves his Christmas tree.  He can shop a full day to find the perfect tree, he can pout for days about the perfect lights AND… he can spend hours getting the ornaments just right in the proper place on the decorated tree (even if he did get fired from decorating this year).


It’s this last part that I wanted to discuss today… the decorating of the tree.  (I meant to get this posted before the holiday so it was more timely but I just couldn’t fit it in…..)


Here’s a little known fact – hubby is a bit quirky, or maybe a little OCD, or perhaps just a bit anal….. ok, this isn’t a little known fact at all.  I have blogged about it more times that I can count but let’s just pretend, in the honor of New Year’s Resolutions, that this is the first time I’m telling you about this.


Hubby likes many things to be just a certain way  and if you use the wrong bowl, gouge the cheese or add unnecessary toppings, you could potentially throw the entire universe out of whack.  Knowing this, there are many elements of holiday decorating that I just don’t touch.  One element, as I mentioned before the holiday, is his Army of Nutcrackers.  The other is a select assortment of Christmas ornaments.  “Hubby’s ornaments”. Ornaments that require:   Special Attention.  Special Placement.  Special Stories.


Yes… I said stories.


The most important ornament is hubby’s “explorer” elf.  This elf is so important that he was actually kidnapped and held for ransom many years ago.  I kid you not.  Ok, bear with me, I’m about to go off on a tangent.

This particular ornament is an ornament from hubby’s childhood.  Like many great parents sending their young’ uns into the world, hubby’s mom packed up a few special ornaments for her son when he ventured off into the world of marriage… this ornament was one of the lucky few to come with us to our new home.   When hubby’s brother realized the horrific act their mother had perpetrated, of gifting this precious ornament to us, he decided to take action.  So, he broke into our house, stole the elf off our first Christmas tree, wrote a ransom note and texted us images of the elf, bound & gagged…. with ridiculous demands for his return.  I only wish I had known I’d be blogging some 8 years later and I would have saved these images… because they are truly priceless.  But alas, I do not have the power to see the future and these pictures & ransom note are long gone.    I have mentioned in the past that my life is filled with laughter and ridiculous behavior when hubby & his brother get together and this is but just a glimpse of why…………


Anywho… we did eventually recover the elf and Christmas magic was returned to our home.


So, back to the my present day elf story.


Each year Hubby likes to create a “scene” within our Christmas tree that reflects a story he’s created for this pioneering elf.  I will do my best to convey this “story” to you.


You see, this elf likes to live in a “Christmas cave” within our tree.  He is gingerly situated inside the branches and is surrounded by the itty-bittiest ornaments whose placement is agonized over by hubby to create the perfect scene each year.  The elf holds a single light to illuminate his cave and he sports a nifty backpack for exploration of his surroundings as he discovers the magic of  miniature holiday items throughout his “cave”.

I’m sure I’ve done a disservice to this story… as hubby does it much better and has a certain twinkle in his eye and he describes his elf and the magical nook in our tree.


After his little cave is created, hubby likes to step back and admire his work and he likes to talk about the miniature little scene.  On more occasions than I can count, I’ve found hubby all by himself, standing in front of the tree with a tiny smile looking through a “window” in the branches to check on his magical elf.  I can only imagine what’s going through his mind as he thinks about this mini elf cave.   I wonder if he’s thinking about how much better the cave would be with surround sound, or perhaps a mini flat screen tv…. or maybe, just maybe,  he’s wondering how we can find mini soda cans to try to bring the “magic” of his own Man Cave into our Christmas tree.  


I suppose the one good thing here is that, while hubby can enjoy this mini elf “cave” just as much as his actual Man Cave…… this one doesn’t require any cleaning.  And that my dear friends is what makes this cave magical for me too.  Well that, and the fact that it’s the ONE TIME a year that hubby actually participates in any sort of home decorating!  Now, if I could only figure out a way to make choosing curtains more “magical”??!!


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I’m not sure if my house is haunted, if the fairies are playing games with me or, if I’m slowly losing my mind.

Whatever the case, there’s an interesting phenomenon that occurs in my home……….

Here’s just a glimpse of these unexplained happenings…


A crumbled paper towel mysteriously appears on my ottoman



There it is again.. on a different day, in a different spot. Hmmmm……………..



I don’t think I paid extra for enchanted towels.  I even re-read the packaging to see if they came with some magical powers that I was unaware of.  But no, it’s a plain, no frills, no magic, roll of Kirkland paper towels.  And yet, each one seems to have some sort of supernatural abilities to appear and then reappear after I’m certain I’ve thrown it away.

  • Today it’s on the kitchen counter.
  • Yesterday it was on the ottoman.
  • The day before it was on the kitchen island.
  • One day it’s crumbled.
  • One day it’s folded.
  • Sometimes it’s wet.
  • Sometimes it has remnants of food.


And each day, when I find it laying around in a new spot….. I swear I pick it up and throw it away.  But somehow, some way…. it eerily reappears only a day or so later, in a different place.

I just don’t get it. 

I asked hubby if he has any idea how these used paper towels keep appearing around the house and he has no idea either.  So there’s no explanation other than magic.

Do you think Costco realizes that they sell magical paper towels…. cause if they did I bet they could charge a heck of a lot more……………..


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Hubby and I love Christmas. We love the holiday spirit, the nutcrackers, the lit tree, the cookies, the egg nog. We love buying gifts for people and we love receiving gifts. I know there are many people out there who struggle during the holidays and that when the economy is bad they decide to not buy each other anything. I can honestly tell you that a Christmas without any presents to open could potentially ruin an otherwise happy year for us.


Now, don’t misunderstand this, I’m not a grubby, money hungry, bitch who only cares about material items (I’m a bitch.. for totally different reasons!!)


I just think that gift giving is part of the spirit of Christmas and I get huge satisfaction in buying someone the perfect present. Suffice to say this means that I hate when people ask me for a wish list for the holiday. I’d much rather you put some thought into buying me a present than check a box off of a list of items I’ve written out for you. It truly is the thought that counts…. So long as that thought results in something that I can unwrap on Christmas morning… (ok, maybe I am a bitch!) If I’m not explaining this well.. I honestly feel that if you are buying me an item off of my request list or I’m shopping with you and I help you pick it out and watch you buy it, some of the magic of Christmas is lost for me. I could have just as easily gone out the day after Christmas and bought the item for myself.


Now, maybe you’re thinking that this is the problem with America.. we’ve totally commercialized the holiday. Maybe you’re thinking that people really just want to make sure they get me items that I like and they’re going out of their way to do so when they ask for a wish list. Maybe you just think I’m a horrible person since I seem to be only focused on the materialism of the morning.


But, maybe you understand that I really just like to be surprised. I like to wake up Christmas day with the excitement of my childhood. I like to wonder what Santa has put under my tree. I like the magic and uncertainty of what’s in all those packages. It’s part of what makes Christmas my favorite holiday! And something that simply can’t be satisfied by a $100 bill in my stocking.


I’m honestly appreciative of any gifts I receive.. but there’s that part of me that still has sugar plums dancing in my head and I never want to become one of those cranky adults who loses the magic of Christmas.


With all this being said…. I’m sure you were hoping I was headed somewhere with this…..


Hubby is a generally a really good gift giver (hold on.. let’s pause for a moment – yes, that was just a compliment I threw at hubby!!). I know I’ve mentioned in the past that he does, on occasion, try to squeeze in a gift for me.. that’s really a gift for himself (see HERE or HERE). And, I know I’ve mentioned countless times that he never, ever listens to me. BUT I will say, that he does actually mentally file away tidbits of information from me throughout the year to buy me items I may have expressed interest in months ago and, he takes snippets of things I say to buy me some great Christmas presents.


He listens.. just like the Elf on the Shelf does. And he watches (contrary to having Selective Vision) so that he can make Christmas morning special for me.


It’s his methods with these gifts prior to Christmas morning that are subject to debate.


This, my dear blog readers, is my hubby’s hidden stash of gifts for me.

These boxes are on a sofa, in a spare room upstairs. Notice the strategic placement of the couch pillow to cover the smaller boxes.

About a week or so ago I’m straightening up around the house.. which of course means that I’m in and out of almost every room. Some of these rooms hubby NEVER enters. And, I’m not kidding on this, I often think he forgets that we have spare rooms upstairs. Hubby occupies 5 rooms in our 15 (ish) room house (if you include all the separate basement rooms).  He literally probably only enters the kitchen, the family room, the bedroom, the bathroom & the man cave. So, it’s incredibly easy to hide Christmas gifts for hubby. Apparently not so much for me…….

So, I say to hubby “What’s with this pile of boxes.. are they Christmas presents?
Hubby: “Yes.”
Me: “And, this was the best you could do to hide them?”
Hubby: “Well, you go in all the rooms in the house…. Where could I possibly put them so that you didn’t see them?”
Me: “I’m not really sure, but the obvious choice might not have been smack on the sofa in a room that I go into regularly”
Hubby: “That’s why I covered them with the pillow”
Me: “Ahhhhh… you’re always thinking aren’t you!”
Hubby: “Well, this way you can’t read any of the shipping labels” (remember hubby’s favorite store is Amazon!)
Me: “No, I suppose I can’t… you’re brilliant attempt to camouflage is impressive”
Hubby: “Well, I had no other ideas… you go everywhere in this house”
Me: “Are you admitting that you do nothing in all those other rooms?
Hubby: “Well, there’s no reason to go into any of them”
Me: “Oh that’s right… I forgot that the fairies take care of all those rooms….”

Now, I feel that I need to let you all in on a secret… our house has no shortage of storage. We have more closets than any family should be able to fill. We have a 2 car garage. We have a full basement with 4 different rooms plus a laundry room. And, we have a full attic. But hubby “couldn’t find any place in the house that I don’t go.” Which apparently translated to the grand master plan of: Hiding Items In Plain Sight.


I suppose I only need to pass this room another 50 or so times until Christmas morning. And the good news is that I’ve finally outgrown snooping. Hubby’s lucky ‘cause if this was 30 years ago…. he could have buried the gifts underneath the furnace, piled with 15 different couch pillows (yes – I know this is a fire hazard!) and I would have located them, unwrapped them, and rewrapped them all before Christmas morning! It’s good to know that in some ways I truly have become an adult! Now, if only we could get hubby to do a little bit of growing up… maybe he could help those fairies clean some of those “other” rooms!


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