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Posts Tagged ‘male brain’

This is a classic post.  It really sums up the absurdity in my house.

 

Oftentimes I talk about the insane disconnect between the male & female brains.  I jokingly share stories about my dear hubby that make many people shake their heads.   I, myself need to shake my head, as I wonder how his brain works.  How it prioritizes.  How it processes information.  How it decides which things are actionable and which are not.

 

Many times I listen to words that are coming out of hubby’s mouth, with my eyes open wide in amazement, and my mouth agape with confusion.

 

This story is one of those times.

 

I’ll start by reminding you that my hubby is not a stupid man.  I would not necessarily classify him as lazy (although, I do sometimes question his execution timelines…).  I probably wouldn’t call him clueless, or oblivious (ok, sometimes he IS oblivious), or simpleminded or unthinking.

 

Now, having said all that…. why oh why, do his actions sometimes directly contradict the intelligent, hard-working man that I married?

 

Follow along and you too, will likely need to shake your and wonder .. “what the heck was he thinking?”

 

We had some friends over to bbq & swim (this happens almost every weekend at our house during the summer).  If you read my last post about The Art of Entertaining, then you know the dynamic of these bbqs.  Hubby spends time outside entertaining our guests, while I run back & forth into the kitchen to make sure people have what they need.

 

Well, this day was no exception and as I was cleaning up after lunch, I made a few trips inside with leftover food & dirty dishes.  Each time I walked through the kitchen, my feet seemed to get wet.  I figured that I had spilled something on the floor so I walked over towards the sink to grab some paper towels and I realized that there seemed to be a pool of water in front of the sink.

 

Side note:  While I’m cleaning up, hubby is at the kitchen counter, on our computer, looking for pictures from our most recent vacation to show some friends outside.

 

So I say, mostly to myself… “What the heck is all over the floor here?”

Hubby: pretty much ignores me and is focused on the computer

Me: “What the…..??? “ as I open the cabinet under the sink “ OH CRAP!”

Hubby: still ignoring me…

Me: “I think the sink is leaking….. there’s water all over the floor and everything in the cabinet is wet”

Hubby:  in his own little world “Do you know where we put the pictures of those sharks?”

Me: “ Oh god… everything’s soaking wet, where is all this water coming from?”  Now, I’m pulling items out one-by-one.. trash bags, dish detergent,, dripping empty grocery bags, sponges, air freshener.. “Hon, I think something’s leaking here…”

 

Pay close attention here or you might miss it……..

 

Hubby:  “Oh yeah… I think the spray nozzle is leaking on the sink”

Me:  “Huh?”  as I’m still removing each item and drying it off with paper towels…

Hubby:  who still hasn’t moved from the computer…  “Yeah, I noticed about 3 days ago that the spray unit was leaking”

Me:  “You noticed days ago that it was leaking??????????”

Hubby:  “yeah, but only if you run the water for a while.”

Me:  “And, you decided what…. that it would fix itself?”

Hubby: “uhm, …… oooooooooh..  I found them!  Here’s the pictures!!”

Me: “You have to be kidding me..”

Hubby “Nope..  I’m going outside show them these pictures!”

 

And then he was gone.  Out the door to continue his entertaining while I sopped up water from the cabinet that apparently had been pooling for 3 days.

 

It was at this point that I turned to his mother.. who did indeed witness this entire exchange. (she was actually taking items from me as I removed them from the cabinet..) And I said,  “You’re lucky that I love him, cause if I didn’t, I’d have to kill him.”

Sad to say…. even his loving, protective mother just shook her head.  He must make her so proud!  🙂

 

And, just for the record, the solution to addressing this leak?  Well, of course, it’s to leave the spray nozzle fully pulled out and permanently lying in the sink.  At least this way it leaks directly into the drain!  Anyone want to take bets on how long we might live like this?????????


(please tell me that I’m not the only one who lives with this type of absurdity!!)

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An actual quote from my lovely hubby:

 

“If I actually listened to everything you had to say, my head would explode” 

 

(How could you not love him!?)

 

I have to admit, I do think he’s onto something here.  No, I’m not allowing him to use this excuse as a way to justify his Selective Listening BUT, there’s something to be said for women needing to receive or give tons of info and men needing/wanting very little.

 

A woman wants to know & share everything… all the little details, the before, during & after, the thoughts, reactions, emotions, and so on, and so on, and so on.

A man wants to know just enough information to move on to the next relevant topic (all other information is just white noise)

 

A conversation that I initiate with hubby…

 

Me:  “How was work today?”

Hubby: “Fine”

Me: “Anything good happen?”

Hubby: “No, not really”

Me: “So, there’s nothing worth sharing?”

Hubby:  “It’s work, there’s nothing worth sharing”

Me:  “Ok, I just thought there might be a good story or something”

Hubby: “Nope”

A conversation accidentally initiated by hubby….

 

Hubby: “Did you get a chance to call the lawn guy today?”

Me:  “Yes, I called the lawn guy and he said that they’ll be out to do the weed treatment next week.  You know….. I was looking at the lawn today, and, I was thinking….. we could really use some flowers to add to that ugly area by the gate.  So, I went to Home Depot and bought some daisies, phlox and peonies.  You know peonies, they’re those cute flowers that Missy had at her house that I liked.  And, while I was at Home Depot I was looking at the grills.  I think that one you wanted just went on sale.  I like that one but I also like the one with the extra burner.   Speaking of grills, don’t forget that we have Joe & Kim’s bbq this weekend.  Did you know that Joe & Kim just went on vacation to Cancun?  I’d like to go to Cancun…maybe we can plan our next vacation there?  You know how much I love margaritas.  Maybe we should go out for Mexican tonight?”

Hubby:  “Good lord, I just wanted to know about the lawn”

Me: “What do you mean, I told you about the lawn?”

MI-064-0295

And, then… His Head Explodes…..

(or at least, this is the dramatic reaction he’d have you believe occurs… as a result of my overflow of unnecessary information)

 

I recently came across a great video by Mark Gungor that provides a fantastic explanation of the Differences Between the Male & Female Brains.  Mark is a marriage speaker who has an entire series called “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage” (more info can be found here: http://www.laughyourway.com/).  And, let’s be honest, laughter is part of the fabric of my marriage (otherwise hubby would never let me share these stories!)

 

 

In one of my previous posts about men “making an effort”, I discussed Male Sleep Mode.  The interesting skill men posess where they can seemingly shut off their mental faculties and think about nothing.  I’ll admit, at the time, I was unaware of the “nothing box”.

 

Thank you Mark… for the enlightening details (you know how women crave details!).

 

And, while the nothing box probably does indeed exist, I’m not convinced that this male behavior doesn’t also include a type of “battery conservation mode”.  After all, as confirmed by my hubby,  we know that if a man’s brain is strained in any way, he needs to “take a break” so it doesn’t explode…so, off to the nothing box he goes!

 

For a woman, the challenge of course, is extracting him from his nothing box and/or his sleep mode.  As I mentioned in my other post, I’ve found that one of the only surefire ways to “wake him up” is to press a button (sort of like a computer in a similar mode).  And, as a woman who likes to see immediate results, I can be pretty good at pressing buttons.

 

Just be sure that, if he’s not “rebooting” quick enough, you don’t push too many buttons at once.  The last thing you want to do, is cause an all system shut down.  I can assure you this can cause a whole new problem that you won’t want to deal with!

 

So, what boxes does your hubby have in his head??

 

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