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Posts Tagged ‘male competition’

The apparent importance of electronics in a man’s world never ceases to amaze me.

I feel like this entire blog could revolve around hubby’s fascination, perhaps better known as an obsession (which I prefer to call lunacy) with technology.  And, I’d have to say that it’s not just technology itself that gets him all fired up.. it’s anything technology based, that offers more or does it better or brighter or with more pizzazz.  He’s so easily swayed by extra bells & whistles that  recently I told him he’s the perfect lemming for those marketing campaigns that sell you on some super-fantastic, new-fangled, piece of crap.  The moment he thinks it’s better than what he currently has, he is immediately unhappy with the item he owns (even if he just bought it last week).

 

Just a few examples of hubby’s Electronics Enthusiasm:

 

 

But today, since I tend to blog about current events in my home, we’re heading back to yet another TV conversation.

 

I mentioned that we have a 52” LCD HDTV in our Man Cave.  This TV is less than a year old… it has a great picture and I might add, that we actually do most of our TV watching in our family room… so, the TV in the Man Cave is primarily used for video games, an occasional movie or football games. 

 

This week hubby declared that he can see “blurring” on our TV and he’s unhappy with the “refresh rate”.  Now, I don’t claim to be all that savvy when it comes to TV technology, but I believe this to be a crock of you know what.  This is hubby’s way of telling me that he’s suffering from a new form of neighborhood TV Envy.  It’s called.. “The-Neighbors-All-Have-Bigger-TVs-And-They-Keep-Making-Fun-Of-Me”.

 

I’ve previously shared the story about Vinny (our next door neighbor) and the day he came home with his 55” new TV.  As he removed it from his car, hubby drooled with envy.  But even more recently we visited another set of neighbors who have not only one 60” LCD TV in their family room but ALSO, a 60” LED TV in their Man Cave.  I knew I was in trouble after this visit for a couple of reasons:

  • I watched hubby’s eyes light up. 
  • I watched him lick his lips.
  • He lightly caressed the top of the TV (it was love at first sight..)
  • And then…. he asked me to run interference while he tried to steal the TV off the wall.

 

Needless to say, we didn’t steal the neighbors TV but I’ve heard about nothing else since that day.  And, both Vinny & Marvin (the other neighbor) have taken it upon themselves to taunt hubby.  Countless text messages asking him how it feels to be the inferior neighbor, wondering if he can actually see a particular play during the football game on his “puny TV”, and even references to Fisher Price.  They are making MY life miserable.

 

So now, hubby (who has apparently gained super-hero like powers) has a perfectly trained eye that can see the difference between a 120Hz refresh rate and a 240Hz refresh rate… because apparently our TV looks “blurry”.  (I beg to differ, but I’m just a woman who doesn’t “get it”!)

 

The neighbors ribbing has motivated hubby to start researching how we can sell our perfectly fine TV to “upgrade” to a new, bigger & better TV.   God help me!

 

Now, if only I could figure out a way to harness this motivation and make it work for useful things… Perhaps I can get Vinny & Marvin to harass hubby into buying us new kitchen counters, or doing the “perfect load of laundry”.  Or maybe, just maybe they could taunt him into renovating our bathroom?  Hmmm… I may just be on to something here, Maybe I should have a talk with all the wives.  Perhaps if we band together, we can find a way to use this power for good rather than evil?

Wish me luck!

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Man Rule:  If it isn’t the biggest…. it can’t be the best  …. Right??

 

My TV post earlier this week got me thinking about this bigger is better theory.  This is one particular Man Rule that creeps up on me sometimes, even when I least expect it. 

 

You see, I don’t feel the need to have the biggest anything.  Small things can still be fantastic and I generally prefer performance & quality over size.  (this post is starting to sound sexual…. It’s not meant to be… although I suppose this could be the first Woman Rule since some of the same principles do indeed apply!)

 

Men always want women to say that size doesn’t matter but in actuality, it matters tremendously…… to THEM! 

 

In a man’s mind, size is a physical display of manliness (get your mind out of the gutter!). It’s a way to illustrate your success, or dominance to the outside world.  Size comparisons also breed competition, which is a cornerstone of the male psyche.mine is bigger

 

Vinnie’s TV was an example of how size gives you bragging rights when you’re a man.  We all know how important competition and bragging rights can be to a fragile male ego…

Some examples of male “competition”:

  • My team is better than your team
  • I can grow a better beard than you can
  • I can eat more hot dogs than you can
  • I’m the Guitar Hero Champion
  • I can toss this wedding ring into that cup more times than you can

 

Most of those examples are performance based competitions BUT

When a man sees that he can “win” the competition by way of a physical object instead of actual effort, well…. you can guess which route he takes!

 

Hubby illustrates this behavior quite regularly. Most recently with Electronics Envy, not long ago with our new fridge purchase (in case you missed the post — hubby insisted we buy biggest/coolest fridge on the block).  And even more recently with our pumpkins.   Yes, I did say pumpkins  (I told you this man rule creeps up on me sometimes!).

 

Every year we take our nephews out to pick & carve pumpkins.  Hubby likes to egg them on when they chose what he considers to be pumpkins that are too “puny” (keep in mind these kids are 4 & 6 yrs old, so” puny” pumpkins to hubby is certainly a decent size for the kids).

 

world-record-pumpkin

Thank God, this one was not available

Anyhow this year, as we’re perusing the pumpkin selection, hubby is drawn to the biggest pumpkin there.   This is a pumpkin that I might refer to as “too big”, but hubby refers to as “perfect”.  He bullies the kids into selecting it.  Ok, maybe bully is too strong a word.  Other choices might be:  Coaxing the kids?  Applying to their young male egos?  Training them early on the “bigger is better” man rule?  Whatever you want to call it, we wind up buying this ridiculously big pumpkin.  He’s so proud of his selection that he actually wants me to “carry it” for a minute to see how heavy it is.  This is his effort at covert bragging… in his head he’s saying…  “see, my pumpkin is bigger & better than yours”.  Needless to say I don’t play along.

 

Pumpkins get loaded into the car and we carve them with the kids at home.  All the while hubby is still training the nephews…. 

 

“See how my pumpkin is bigger than Aunt Shell’s?”

“Whose pumpkin do you like better… mine or Aunt Shell’s?”

“Isn’t the big pumpkin cool?”

“Aren’t you glad we picked out the biggest & best pumpkin?”

 

It’s hardcore little boy training at it’s best.  The kids are initially resistant but they soon seem to realize that the BIGGER pumpkin is obviously the BETTER pumpkin.  Hubby glows with joy & pride.

 

How does this story end?

 

Well, our pumpkins are happily displayed on our stoop…. hubby’s large pumpkin dwarfing my “puny” pumpkin.   It would seem that hubby has indeed won two competitions.  The one against me that I wasn’t really playing in the first place.  And the imaginary one he’s playing against the neighbors now that his HUGE pumpkin is on display for the entire world to see.  He is obviously taunting Vinnie…. who may indeed have the bigger TV, but obviously hubby has the better pumpkin.

 

And… all I can do is shake my head……………

 

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