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Posts Tagged ‘pizza’

Hubby ordered sausage & pepper pizza 2 nights ago.

 

Now for a normal person, this wouldn’t be worth blogging about BUT since it was hubby and it goes against virtually everything he believes in, I had to put it out there into the blogosphere to try to solicit some sympathy.  Because, for my life, I cannot figure this man out.

 

If you don’t understand why this would matter, you should read this post:  You’re Gonna Ruin It.

 

It’s in that post where I first shared hubby’s aversion to “contaminating” his cheese pizza with anything but cheese.   This has been an on-going battle since the day I met hubby.  I like toppings on my pizza and he doesn’t.   As I mentioned in that last post, we haven’t been able to find a happy medium without ordering separate pizzas, because the minute I add any toppings to half the pizza, I have “ruined his plain cheese half with flavor & smells from my toppings”.  And, my dear blog readers, apparently this is just plain unacceptable!

 

BUT… just when you think you have him figured out, he likes to change things up on you.

 

So, we’re out to dinner with friends and he decides he wants a pizza.  The waiter comes over and he orders just that… a cheese pizza.  Then the waiter starts prodding him.  “Just cheese??” he says.   To which I reply, “He won’t eat anything but plain cheese….. everything else ruins his pizza!”  But the waiter isn’t letting this one pass, he says “wouldn’t you want some peppers, or maybe some onions, or how about some sausage?”.   And hubby looks at him, as if he’s contemplating these offerings.  I, on the other hand, am steadfast in my opinion of his pizza order.  I KNOW that hubby won’t contaminate his pizza.  I’ve had to have this debate for the last 10 years.  It always ends the same way…. nothing but cheese.

 

But hubby seems to waver.

 

The waiter presses on….. “We make a fantastic sausage & pepper pizza”.   Our friends join in… “They do make a great sausage & pepper pizza”.   I chime in… “What’s going on with you?  Are you about to be pressured into pizza with toppings????  You and I have argued this very topic for years and if you change you mind, right here, right now….. I may just have to kill you.”   

 

“OK” he says…. “sausage & peppers it is!”.   And then, I fainted, fell out of my chair, and they had to rush me to the hospital.     Did MY husband just order toppings on his pizza?  It couldn’t be?  We’ve discussed this ad nauseum,  I’ve begged, I’ve pleaded.  I’ve rationalized with him about the fact that separately, he likes sausage and he likes peppers.  All to no avail.  I must always eat just plain cheese unless I want to get my own personal pizza.  And now, here we are, and he’s succumbing to peer pressure at the restaurant.  WHERE WAS THIS WAITER 10 YEARS AGO???????????????

 

After he orders, again, I have to say to him… “Are you sure?  What’s going on with you?  Did you just cave in and order something you don’t really want?  Cause, we can still change this and put the universe back on it’s axis!”.   And, he looks at me and smugly replies…. “Nope, I’m totally happy.  I want sausage & peppers”.    And that moment folks, was when I realized that I wanted smack him right upside the head.    But instead, I gave him the reply that always seems to follow any ridiculous or impossible to understand behavior…….  “You know, you really are EXHAUSTING…………”

 

Now, I have no idea if this was an isolated incident (likely).  And, I’m having trouble celebrating that he’s finally opened his eyes to a new form of pizza since it was only once (probably).   And beyond all of that, sometimes I wonder if he chooses to be difficult just to test me……. and now, after 10 years of toying with me, he’s deemed it time to shake things up a bit.    And everyone wonders why I started a blog…………………………………

 

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It has been said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.


And a while back, I even referenced how cupid “shot an arrow through hubby’s stomach” when we first met.


This arrow was of course, round and speckled with chocolate.. and was otherwise known as a cookie.


This week something magical happened for hubby.  A food company seemingly crawled into his head and rooted around to find the box labeled “favorite things”.  As you may remember, if you’ve been reading for a while, there are a few boxes in most men’s heads.  The most notable of course is the “nothing box” (the box where his mind goes when he stops listening to you).  But, what you may not realize is that there’s usually another box where men place their favorite things.. things like; electronics, pizza, manly tools, big tvs and of course, cookies.


Well this company gathered up 2 of hubby’s favorite things and actually started selling them TOGETHER!   Can you hear the heaven’s singing?  Can you see the skies parting to warm you with rays of sunshine? No?  Well, I can’t either BUT hubby sure can!


If you have no idea what I’m talking about I’d like to share a commercial:

This weekend hubby & I were watching tv and we saw this commercial for the first time.  Hubby’s eyes opened wide as he stared at the milk, the pizza, the cookies.  And a huge grin took over his face.


“oooooohhhhhh…….ooooooohhhh…… look…. look!!!!!”

“That’s the best thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he said “They’ve combined 2 of the best things in the world!”.


Yes, outside of his insane burrito addiction, pizza & cookies are pretty dang high on hubby’s list of Things That Are Truly Awesome.

 

In case you’ve missed some of these previous posts… I’ve actually written about both a few times.  You can read out my “ruining hubby’s pizza” HERE.  Or you can read about cookies HERE, HERE & HERE.


DiGiorno, you’ve gone above and beyond.  Pizza is a staple item in our home.  Cookies are a commodity that we can quite keep in stock (simply because hubby consumes them at the speed of light and I just can’t keep up).    This brilliant solution: one that plays to the inner child in all men, one that keeps them happy and puts a smile on their face, one that I can use to bribe him to do household chores (oh, wait… did I type that out loud??),  one that might actually encourage him to cook on his OWN, is a fantastic new product!!


I suppose we should ask for a royalty of some sort since you have obviously sucked this idea right out of hubby’s head??!!    But I suppose we’d be willing to settle for a lifetime of free pizza.  🙂


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Well, I’ve written many posts about hubby’s quirks… most specifically his food quirks.  Almost every week in our home, hubby’s interesting, bizarre, annoying, charming, idiosyncrasies bubble up to the surface.

 

And, in this post today, I’ll take “bubbling up to the surface” to a new place for you.

 

Today’s post is about one of America’s favorite foods and to be quite honest, probably one of the most sacred food items in many homes in our area.  Yes, today I’m talking about that ever-so-important, staple food item…. The Pizza Pie.

 

Now, for those of you who are familiar with this special food item, you know how serious people take their pizzas.  

 

  • Some people love thin crust
  • Some love deep dish
  • Some debate NY Style over Chicago Style
  • Some people love extra cheese
  • Some people want “the works”
  • Some people drive hours for that perfect slice
  • Some people cook them on stones
  • Some people buy DiGiorno …

 

And for some people, like us… nothing beats a perfectly cooked, perfectly sauced, perfectly cheesed slice of pizza!

 

BUT.. that’s where the similarities end for hubby & myself when it comes to agreeing on what “perfection” truly looks like.

 

I’ll admit that although we’d tried virtually every pizza place that delivers around where we live, we have yet to find that GREAT pizza.  You know, the one that makes your mouth water as you think about it. The one that you dive into so quickly when it arrives, that you scorch the ever-living-crap out of roof of your mouth and… you don’t even care….. IT’S THAT GOOD…….

 

But, this story is actually not about finding the best slice of pizza around… it’s all about the surface of the pizza….

 

What do I mean by this??  Well, let’s just say, that hubby is a traditionalist (boring) when it come to his pizza.  He likes it to be in its natural (boring) state.  He like it to have cheese.  Only cheese.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong here.  I LOVE a plain slice of pizza.  And, I’m certainly not knocking the occasional cheese only pizza.  But occasionally I like to spice up life a bit.  And, by “spice up” I mean branching out from that boring cheese-only menu to ADD stuff to my pizza.  I’m a renegade.  A non-conformist.  A crazy person…..  Sometimes it’s sausages, sometimes meatballs, sometimes peppers.. pepperoni… broccoli.  The choices are literally ENDLESS.  But hubby, nope, hubby likes his cheese and nothing but his cheese.    It’s not that he doesn’t eat all these other items.  As a matter of fact, he eats everything I just mentioned.  Just NOT on his pizza!

 

Now, I’m sure many of you are thinking … which most logical people would, that there’s an easy fix to this disagreement.  But remember, hubby’s logic is sometimes not all that logical!

 

You might suggest that we order the large pizza (like we normally would) and that I could get half with toppings and half without.  What an easy solution to satisfy both of us.. or so you think… until you spend a moment in hubby’s mind.

 

You see… I cannot get half a pizza with toppings because they will, and I quote, “contaminate the cheese only side of the pizza”.  Yes, this is the real reason that hubby & I cannot share a large pizza!

 

Hubby’s complaints include the following:

 

There will inevitably be certain topping elements that “infringe” on the cheese only side of the pizza when it gets cut (these elements are obviously impossible to remove)

The smells/flavors of the other food items will migrate over to the cheese only side of the pizza (and obviously the smell of say, meatballs, is repulsive to him!)

 

I want to highlight something I mentioned earlier.. just in case you missed it.  Hubby eats ALL of the food items that I’d want to put on ½ of the pizza.. so you’d think that since he eats meatball sandwiches he wouldn’t be horrified at the thought of a piece of meatball meandering over to his side of the pie, or of the aroma of a meatball wafting over to his cheese.

 

But the fact remains that we can never, ever, share a pizza because I will ruin his pizza eating experience.  I will forever either have to order us each smaller pizzas (and have extra leftovers) or forego pizza altogether if I’m feeling a little zany (you know, like wanting slice of pepperoni).

 

Which brings me to a conversation that we had this past week.

Me:  “Hon, what do you feel like for dinner?”

Hubby:  “Not really sure, should we order something?”

Me: “Yeah, I was thinking that. I don’t really feel like cooking”

Hubby: pouting over-dramtically  “Well, I could really go for pizza… but you’ll want to ruin it”

Me:  “Can’t I just put peppers on half?”

Hubby:  “Nah, forget it.  I’d rather order something else”

Me: “I fail to understand your logic”

Hubby:  “You’ll never understand, but it will be ruined if you order half of it with peppers”

Me: “But you like peppers…..”

Hubby: “Let’s just order Chinese”

Me: “Ok, fine.  We’ll order you a large, cheese-only pizza, and I’ll get something else. I don’t even know why we have these conversations……”

Hubby:  giddy with joy… “OK!!”

 

And, the pizza crisis was adverted…..all is right with the world (PHEW!)

 

(And, yes, I do live with an adult child…. In case any of you were wondering……………………..)

 

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