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Posts Tagged ‘sickness’

It’s been a whirlwind couple of months at the THD household.

 

We kicked off November with ear tube surgery for mini hubby.    This was necessitated by about 14 million ear infections since we started day care (ok, maybe not 14 million – he was after all, only a year old.  But, let’s just say one little munchkin shouldn’t have been on as many consecutive doses of antibiotics as our little guy was).  About 2 weeks after surgery, mini hubby was toddling along, and as new walkers tend to do… he toppled right over……… fracturing his little mini wrist.  Have you ever seen an x ray of a of a tiny little hand.  It’s like a freaky, mysterious picture with tiny floating little bones…. It’s just NUTS!

Xray Nov 2013 (2)

None of this stopped him.  He still laughed, and giggled and toddled around the house like he was a skilled tight rope walker (minus the tiny balancing line and plus a whole new dimension to balancing with his itty bitty little cast).     Hubby could learn a lot from the little guy.  He’s tough as nails and none of this phased him.  No awfulizing.  No grumbling.  No complaining.

 

Then Thanksgiving week came and mini hubby brought home the plague from day care…. And, it wiped out the entire family.   I think it was Rotavirus. And, if you’ve never experienced lovely ailment… I’ll say a little prayer that you never do.   Hubby and I spent all night with dueling bathrooms as we raced past each other to vomit and twist ourselves into a pretzel as we agonized with the worst abdominal pain ever.  A few days earlier,  mini hubby had vomited a bit, cried a bit and then toddled around the house throwing blocks and racing cars.  Man, he’s a trooper… and he recovered quite nicely as his dad and I prayed for death for a full 24 hours as we dealt with this doozy of an illness.

 

You may recall how hubby deals with sickness (if you forgot you can get a refresher HERE).  For me, it was simply wonderful.  There’s just nothing better than throwing up all night and then getting out of bed the next day to care for your toddler and your sick husband…. All the while, wondering how you could possibly vomit more when you haven’t eaten anything for hours upon hours.  This lovely day ended with a trip to the ER to treat hubby for dehydration.  Yes folks, it’s been a fun holiday season.

 

So we are definitely in need of some Christmas magic… BUT, we are getting there….. S L O W L Y……

I have revived the Hubby Diaries version of “A Very Married Christmas”… if you’ve missed it (or would just a reminder chuckle – click HERE or on the image below!)

Christas Poem 2013

 

Now if only the Christmas magic would wrap my presents AND bake my cookies AND clean my house AND finish my laundry AND.. AND… AND……

 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!   Hope your holiday season has been less dramatic and more pleasant than ours so far……………………………….

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Well,  we started day care.

 

For those of you who have lived through this traumatic experience, this statement alone probably either brings back horrible memories or perhaps it brings back nothing – because you’ve blocked out just how bad it was…  on you, your baby and your sanity.

 

We started 3 weeks ago.  And, in 3 weeks, we’ve had a baby with 3 separate illnesses all accompanied by a significant fever.. some of which have lasted 5 days.  Which means that after 3 weeks of day care, we’ve only been IN day care for probably a total of 8 days or so.  Seems like some sort of scam since we pay for 5 days a week… and we continually need to keep him home.  We’ve made approximately 5 visits to the Dr and 1 trip to the emergency room.  If you are wondering… yes, it’s been an incredibly FUN 3 weeks.

 

After the 3rd visit to the doctor, he said to me.  “Oh, you started day care….. you’ll probably spend more time here at our office than you do at work and then you’ll start to wonder why you ever went back to work!”.  Gee, thanks for the reassurance doc!   So I asked, “Well, how long will it be this bad?”  To which he replied, “Oh, he’ll probably be sick for at least a year or so.  BUT, (his attempt at making me feel better as he sees look of utter anguish on my face) once he starts school, you will never need to come here!!!”

 

Wonderful.   A year of a sick toddler.. and an even longer year of a hubby who has to deal with a sick toddler.   It’s gonna be a doozy of a year.

 

Let me tell you a few things that happen when you have a sick baby.

 

#1.  You have a very cranky baby

#2.  You have a very cranky hubby

#3.  You do not get very much sleep

#4.  You have an even crankier hubby

#5.  There’s a lot of fussiness

#6.  You wonder who is fussier, the baby or the hubby

#7.  There’s a lot of crying

#8.  (The baby cries a lot too…..)

#9.  There’s a lot of boogers, and medicine and uncontainable poop

#10. There’s not enough cuddling, or rocking, or singing that can make the baby OR the hubby any less miserable

 

Then, as if all of the above is not bad enough, the Swedes had to go an invent quite possibly the most disgusting device ever known to man.  If you have infants, you may have heard of this device.  We were steadfastly against using it.  It’s just plain gross.  We were hold-outs for many, many months.  We wiped boogers all day long, and bought every imaginable bulb syringe to suck out as much snot as possible and we insisted we’d never, ever subject ourselves to such a revolting, loathsome activity. And then, mini hubby was on his 2nd week of illness and the boogers were taking over.  You could tell he couldn’t breath and he was starting to refuse bottles…..so, we caved and bought (read this in the most ominous voice possible)  The Nose Frida.    If you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me give you a quick lesson.

 

NOSEFRIDA

It’s a wonderfully designed tube that attaches to an elongated nozzle that is placed into the infant’s nose.  The end of the tube is then placed in your mouth…. YES, I did say mouth.  And you use your own breath to literally SUCK boogers out of the baby’s nose….. say it with me….. Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

 

It’s perhaps the grossest, most effective, instrument ever created.

 

But here-in lies the problem.  I apparently don’t have the lung capacity to properly dislodge the boogers.  So, in must step hubby, to use his manly lung muscles to remove the maximum amount of boogies…. Trust me.  He LOVES this job.  No lie.  I mean, what person wouldn’t want to suck someone else’s boogers directly into their own mouth?  Ok, so maybe I’m being slightly overdramatic.  There is a filter at the end of the hose so the boogers don’t actually go into your mouth.  And, maybe I was lying slightly, when I said he loves this job.  Cause he FREAKIN’ hates it.  And, ever since day one of booger sucking he’s complained that he’s sucked all the baby’s germs right into his own system and now he feels sick himself.

 

Which is just FANTASTIC… because what more could I want that a sick baby AND a sick hubby —- FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR??????????

(anyone have a gun so I can shoot myself in the head??)

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Tis the season…..

 

— No, not the season for big-bellied men dressed in red.

— Not the season for decorations and yuletide (what the hell is yuletide anyway??)

— Not even the season of merriment & gift giving.

 

It’s the season of the cold.  Or the flu.  Or sniffling, sneezing coughing, aching, stuff head, fever….. oh, wait… I just started to sound like a commercial……

 

Anyhow, if you’re unlucky (like many women) and happen to have a man in your life.  You might just be entering into the season of the Man Flu or Man Cold.  Both of which are far worse, more crippling, and just plain downright more awful than any “normal” cold or flu.

 

I’ve received calls from friends recently screaming “man down, man down”.   And, for a moment I’m confused and I start to duck for cover underneath my coffee table, and then I remember that nearly everyone I know is sick.  And, as this dreaded cold makes it’s rounds, I realize that their misfortune could easily be my misfortune.  As it’s only a matter of time before my own dear hubby succumbs to the death-bed-whining that could only indicate one thing:  He’s come down with a Man Cold.

 

It happens just about every year around this time.. I’ve posted before about not accepting the “in sickness” part of my marriage vows.  And, I feel for every women out there who must deal with their own version of this illness.  I would venture a guess though that there’s little variation all over the globe.  As it seems no man is immune.  That biologically speaking, bacteria somehow invades a man’s body worse than a woman’s.  That somehow a man’s immune system is weaker (yes men – I said you are weaker) than a woman’s.    It’s at this moment that they realize how much they need us.  Or at least how much they want to be coddled and waited on.  And, if we’re not performing these motherly, ahem.. wifely? duties up to par,   they revert back to whiny little boys.

 

Just this past week my brother-in-law posted this status update on Facebook:  “Home with the flu.. no visitors but will happily use what’s left of my strength to open the door for any girls that are available to pamper me and help me through this tough time”

 

(yes, he and my dear hubby are cut from the same cloth….. I’m a damn lucky girl that I have 2 of them in my life…… this is also the same brother that instigated the “floating buoys” in my pool….)

 

Anyhow, not only do they whine and act like sick children in the privacy of their own home, but it seems that are perfectly ok putting it out there in the universe that they are “dying” and need immediate care.  Have You No Shame??!!

 

To bring this point home, I recently stumbled on this video and I just had to share.

 

 

It’s a testimony to the male ‘pack mentality’.  If they all act like this when they are sick, then they will all support each other, and none of them will have any qualms about milking every last ounce of sympathy from anyone, anywhere, who will listen.

 

Ladies… take a stand.  Next time a Man Cold enters your home, cut to the chase and hand the man a phone just in case  he needs to dial an emergency #  (and then just hope that it’s a female EMT who answers his call!)

 

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Well….. where should I start to update you on our craziness??

 

It’s been an overwhelming month, or maybe we’ve just settled into a new “norm” in our lives.  A norm that could quite possibly be called organized chaos.  Except of course, to use this terminology, we’d actually need to be organized.

 

And, in all honesty we are anything but organized lately.  My house looks like a bomb went off.  As I mentioned a week or so ago, this bomb initially came by way of illness.  Hubby was sick for almost 10 days (after 2 cycles of antibiotics he’s finally kicked it).  The illness then migrated it’s way over to me. And then, while we were still enjoying the co-mingling of our germs, we had the added bonus of celebrating hubby’s birthday.

 

Now, you may be thinking “what’s the big deal… everyone gets sick and sometimes it’s during your b-day….” 

 

But let me walk you thru the actual day of hubby’s b-day. 

 

I’ve organized a gathering of our friends at a local comedy club.  There are over 20 people meeting us at 7:00 and we’ve already pre-paid.  Hubby is feeling feverish and is mustering up all the energy he can to smile through his celebration.

 

It’s about 6:20 and I run into the basement to grab something out of the laundry room.  We need to leave at 6:30

 

“Oh crap!!!!!” I yell to hubby.   “There’s something WAY wrong down here”.

As usual hubby isn’t really paying any attention.  Add to that he’s cranky and sick, and upstairs and oh, did I mention cranky?

“Hon…. I think we have a big problem” I say as I glance towards the ceiling……  I’m actually slowly processing what I’m seeing and it’s not making any sense.  At the foot of the stairs I can see that the carpet is wet along the wall.  So, I’m looking up to see if something is leaking from upstairs.  Hmmmmmm… the ceiling is dry.  Did hubby spill something (I begin looking for his stash of empty soda cans?)

Then I step off the bottom stair and ….. squish…. squish….. OH NO!  The carpet is soaking wet.

 

I won’t belabor you with the details of how I squished my way through the Man Cave thwap…. thwap…  Or the lake I swam through in the laundry room…. swish…. swish….  But suffice to say, hubby finally had to acknowledge my distressed, shaky, calls upstairs.  I see his head peak down the stairs……

 

And there we stood…. wet socks, sniffly noses and stressed faces, as we tried to figure out why we had 3 inches of water throughout our Man Cave…. YIKES!   And, we had 10 minutes to leave for the festive b-day celebration!

 

Needless to say, we had no choice but to walk away from this new found challenge to head out to the comedy club.

 

We spent the next couple of days cleaning out closets, moving furniture, sucking up water and calling the insurance company.  Oh yeah …. it was more fun than you can imagine!

 

And then, as if all this fun wasn’t enough, on the tale end of sickness, flooding and an absolutely trashed house… hubby & I needed to head off for a vacation that had been planned for months.

 

Timing couldn’t have been better …… AND…. timing couldn’t have been worse.

 

So, we’re now back home.  My basement is emptied all over my house, there are dehumidifiers running, fans blowing and now we start dealing with the next steps to put the house back together.    The good news is that I’m thankful to have quite a few hubby stories from the past few weeks (floods, travel, cocktails & vacation are the perfect fodder for tales of hubby’s silliness)  Now, I just need to find time to actually write some of them down!
 

I’ll start you out with these tidbits….

  • We actually had a back-up sump pump (still in the box) sitting on the sopping wet carpet.
  • The sofa that hubby hates came out completely unscathed
  • Hubby actually got one of his big wishes….. an indoor swimming pool (I’m surprised he didn’t have Corona bottles floating around the Man Cave!)

 

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Hubby & I wrote our own wedding vows.  They were truly heartfelt expressions of love.

 

They included statements like:

  • When you fall, I will catch you…
  • When you laugh, I will share your joy…
  • When you cry I will comfort you…
  • I will honor, encourage & support you…

 

BUT…. Please note that, at no time, did I ever promise to love him during sickness..

 

And thank god because that would have been a lie!

 

I think I’ve mentioned that the past 2 weeks have been crazy busy for me at work.  I’ve been prepping for a huge executive team meeting that was scheduled for yesterday (ahhhhhhhhhh… that’s me finally exhaling after an incredibly long 2 weeks).  As you may also know, hubby enjoyed his staycation during this exact same timeframe.  Talk about not being in synch.  Hubby was relaxing & I was working extra hours.

 

But, what you don’t know about hubby’s staycation was that it actually began with hubby not feeling well.  It all started on the weekend with some congestion and some interrupted sleep but by Monday of his “no work” staycation he was approaching a full fledged sinus infection.  Now, don’t get me wrong… I’m filled with sympathy for him.  I wouldn’t wish sickness on anyone much less on someone who is on vacation. BUT, hubby is one of those men (and I’m sure you personally know one.. even if you’re not married to one…) who likes to whine about his symptoms but not really take any action.

 

Here’s a typical conversation with hubby.

 

Hubby:  “I think I’m getting sick”

Me:  “That sucks… what’s wrong?”

Hubby: “Well, I’m all stuffed up & I don’t feel that great”

Me: “What have you taken?”

Hubby:  “Nothing”

Me: “Why don’t you take some Vitamin C” (contrary to all the arguments against it’s effectiveness, I’m on board with heavy doses of vitamin C when you start to feel sick.  And, let’s be honest, even if I’m completely wrong.. it sure doesn’t hurt anyone!)

Hubby: “Vitamin C doesn’t work”

Me: “Ok, then don’t take any..” 

Hubby:  “My head hurts too”

Me:  “When did this start?”

Hubby: “A little over a day ago”

Me: “And, you haven’t taken anything at all?”  (I’m not suggesting a Dr visit – god forbid –  just inquiring about a basic over-the-counter remedy)

Hubby:  “No”

Me: “Then, why don’t you take something? I’m sure there’s some OTC stuff in the cabinet”

Hubby:  “I don’t know”

Me:  “You’d rather complain & suffer than take any medicine??”

Hubby: “No…..”

Me: “Well then, I’m not sure what it is that you want me to do…..”

 

Just for the record:   We have the equivalent of a pharmacy in one of our cabinets.  It’s filled with vitamins, minerals, stuff for colds, flu, cough, sinuses, sore throat…(I could go on and on..)  Honestly, you name it, it’s probably in there.  But, it’s obviously too much trouble for hubby to take a gander at the offerings to select the item that best suits his symptoms.  He’d rather just lie on the couch and complain.

 

I can’t say I understand this behavior.  I do know people who are “anti-medication” (I don’t understand them, but I know them).  However, hubby is not “anti-medication”.  I think he’s just anti-effort.  Or maybe it’s that he’s pro-suffering?   I can’t quite put my finger on it but all I have to say is that I’m glad I was swamped with work as hubby laid on the couch and sulked for 2 days last week (and this was in fact, after he started taking some medication!).

 

So yes, I took vows to love him when he’s sad & when he’s happy.  To support his dreams & goals.  To hold his hand as we walk into the future together.  AND… to blog about all his idiosyncrasies (oh wait.. the vows didn’t mention that one….).  But, I did not agree to be there when he’s sick.

 

Because to be honest dear hubby…… I do love you… but when you’re sick, you’re a big pain in my………….

 

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