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Posts Tagged ‘Spotlight Syndrome’

If you’re a long time reader you may know the background of how this blog came to be.  If not, I’ll give you the short story.

 

Like many other people, I was unexpectedly laid off from my job a little over a year ago.  This was truly one of the most difficult times in my life.  In order to deal with my anxiety and the excess of free time, I started a blog (Active Leisure) where I humorously journaled my unemployed life.  It was great therapy for me.  If you’re ever bored and want to have yourself a few chuckles about muffin tops & pajamattire take a moment to surf around my other blog (unfortunately, or fortunately, since I’m now gainfully employed,  life has become a bit too busy for me to update it regularly). Another unexpected benefit of having all that free time, was more than enough opportunity to pay attention to stuff around the house.  Things like the drawers that needed cleaning or shoes hubby tried to put on the table or his inability to throw trash in the garbage, all seemed to make their way to the forefront.  Since I was chronicling my life, and almost every day hubby did something around our house that made me crazy, he made many appearances in that other blog!  So much so, that The Hubby Diaries grew out of that unemployment blog.

 

What I didn’t realize when I started a new blog that revolved around our relationship, was that by making hubby the star I was creating a monster.  I’ve posted before about hubby’s spotlight syndrome and about how he actually now highlights possible topics for the blog as he does, how shall we say….. stupid things around our house.   I’ve tried my best to diffuse this bright spotlight.  I’ve tried to place large objects in front of the light, I’ve propped up umbrellas around our house and I’ve even tried to swap out the big spotlight for a tiny little flashlight.  With a flashlight at least I can shine it on him at any angle I choose and for as long as I choose.  By only turning the light on him when I want to,  I can still manage daily life as hubby trudges through our house with dirt on his shoes and then, with that little grin he has, asks me if he’s just provided me with a new blog entry.  (No, dear hubby, you’ve just provided yourself with another chore of mopping the floor!)

 

But again, life is full of surprises, and what I never expected was for some of hubby’s friends to try to dip their toe into this bright light.  I guess I never realized how competitive men can be or how much innate desire a man has to be the star of his own show.  Now, I’d guess this doesn’t apply to every man as I know there are plenty of guys out there who like to fade into the background.  But for many others, who seem to celebrate hubby’s quirks and like to relish in the male strength & solidarity created by this blog, I’ve seen some interesting behavior.  Not only have I seen hubby noting his own “blog-worthy” behavior in our house, but I’ve started to see other male friends doing this too.  I often wonder… What have I done to myself??

 

Just this past weekend we hosted a poker game.  As you may know, we have a custom poker Man Cave and we host games regularly.  So, Friday night we host an 18 player Texas Hold’em game.  That’s 17 men and me.  (not completely crazy, cause after all… I am “one of the boys”.)

 

Anyhow, here’s a conversation with one of our friends who is a regular blog reader… (yes Joe.. this one’s for you…..)

 

Joe:  “How do I get into the blog?”

Me:  “Joe, it’s called The Hubby Diaries, it sort of needs to be about hubby”

Joe: “But, I do stuff that’s blog-worthy”

Me:  “I’m sure you do, but it doesn’t exactly work like that”

Joe:  “But what about the Pomegranate soap?  That has to be worthy of the blog”

Me:  “Joe, just because you have an unusual (and quite possibly unhealthy) fascination with the hand soap in our bathroom, doesn’t automatically get you into the blog”

Joe: “But, I wanna be in the blog”

Me:  “Sorry Joe, sometimes a situation will just jump out at me during the course of the day that inspires a post.  We can just hope you’re part of it”

Joe: pouting (and probably also mentally conniving about how he can “inspire” a post)  “Well, that sucks”

Me:  “I don’t know what to tell ya Joe…. I really don’t take requests….”

Joe:  “But I like to eat my cheese flat, and I’m an awfulizer.”

Me:  “Well, I feel sorry for your wife.. but that’s sort of not the point…”

 

So, now I’ve disappointed Joe.  It’s not the first time he’s asked about how he can get a guest appearance in the blog, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.  And, just for the record, the interest in our Pomegranate/Mange scented Softsoap in the bathroom is definitely a bit odd.  I think I’ve actually caught him at times, during poker games, smelling his own hands………..

 

A little later in the evening we’re all on a poker break hanging out in the kitchen.  And one of our other friends makes a comment that has everyone laughing.

 

Immediately Joe gets all upset at himself since he’s not the one who said it,  and, in the most disappointed voice, he says….”Oh man, I bet that’s gonna make it into the blog!!”.

 

Apparently spotlight syndrome can hit anyone at any time.  And apparently I have created my own absurd little world…. where men now come to my house and try to figure out ways to illustrate odd or annoying behavior just to make a blog appearance.  I have plenty on my hands with hubby, and I think any more men with bizarre quirks could quite possibly push me over the edge.

 

There’s just simply not enough time in the day to blog about Every Single Stupid Thing that Every Single Man does.   I’d have to quit my job and blog full time and I still probably couldn’t cover every single topic!

 

Right ladies??  🙂

 

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I’ve only been writing this blog since the very end of September… so it’s really only been a little more than 3 months of giving you a tiny glimpse into my every-day life.

 

I take snippets of real interactions with my hubby.. I do not make up these stories, they are all rooted in truth which is probably part of the reason some of them are entertaining.  Many of the posts are funny because the conversations really do happen and they’re funny because many women have hubbies of their own who do similar things, say similar things or somehow exhibit similar qualities.   It’s amazing how many women have contacted me or commented that our husbands must have been separated at birth.  I truly sympathize with those women, because I know what their every-day lives are like, because I do believe that sometimes we are living parallel lives and, I know that beating your head against the wall (which is sort of what it’s like talking to a man) can be incredibly frustrating!

 

Anyhow, this blog has done much more for me than simply allow me to share stories that (hopefully) make you chuckle.  It’s actually been somewhat therapeutic for me.  It allows me to take a conversation with hubby that would otherwise irritate the crap out of me, and put a funny spin on it so I can laugh about it rather than hit him in the head with a wooden spoon (the response I’d like to have at times).  So, when he doesn’t listen, or ignores the laundry basket, or leaves his soda cans lying around the house, instead of bitching at him, I take to the internet and blog about it.  Interestingly enough, this has accomplished 2 things:

  1. It has exposed his absurdity to the world [insert evil laugh here]
  2. It has allowed me to vent (in a lighthearted way) about how annoying dear hubby can truly be. 

 

The other thing that has come out of this blog is something that I perhaps wasn’t prepared for….  For now, I think I’ll call it the Spotlight Syndrome.

 

Let me explain:

 

Hubby is a regular blog reader, some of you may have seen responses from him on a few posts.  He likes to jump in at times, to try to support his version of the events or to try to argue his side.  It’s interesting to me because it’s been a great way of communicating with hubby and highlighting his behavior. This way, I can show him that I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand some of his crazy antics.  He fully supports the blog and he has shown his support by telling me that “nothing is off limits” and that I can blog about absolutely anything (we really do love to laugh at our house!)

 

Here’s where the Spotlight Syndrome comes in…. I think, hubby thinks, he’s now some sort of celebrity.  It’s only taken 3 months for him to do things around the house (or better yet, not do things) and say to me… “so, is that blog-worthy?”.  Or, to proudly declare that he “provides me with so much material”.   Sometimes I wonder if he’s just performing for the camera…. No, there’s no actual camera in my house but I’m beginning to think hubby views himself as some sort of reality internet celebrity.  And, as I watch his head grow bigger and bigger (cause you know, bigger is always better..) I realize that maybe, just maybe, I’m creating my own monster!

 

In all honesty, I don’t think he’s actually changed his behavior in any way.  He does (or doesn’t do) all the same things that he’s always done.  But now, as I ask him for the 10th  time to carry something downstairs, or as he bullies me into agreeing to buy a new tv, he may on occasion, in the middle of our conversation say to me… “you’re gonna blog about this, aren’t you?”.  To which of course I say…. “probably”.

 

So, if you have stories you’d like to share about your hubby or, ideas about topics that you’d like to see me blog about, please feel free to comment below..

 

Perhaps we can give your hubby a “moment in the spotlight” too but I can’t be responsible for what happens afterwards  🙂

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