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Posts Tagged ‘travel’

Dear Foursquare,

 

I’m writing today to share a serious grievance.   I sincerely hope you are willing to accept the role you’re playing in the demise of my otherwise perfectly happy marriage.

 

You were not welcome on my vacation this past week and yet you stowed yourself away in my husband’s pocket.

 

You were not welcome in the lobby of the resort and yet, there you were.

 

You were not invited to lunch by the pool and yet, you were there also.

 

I did not see your credit card as we checked in, nor did I see you provide any assistance as we applied sunscreen at the beach and yet, you lurked in the corners of hubby’s home screen.

 

Who are you, to declare my husband to be The Mayor of the resort in Cabo San Lucas?  Who are you, to allow hubby to ‘check-in’ to the hotel before our room was even ready?  And who are you, to give him the authority to declare the cactus by the pool to be “his”?   

 

I can only assume that your intentions were good as you allowed hubby to uncover hidden badges and seek out tips.  I can only hope that you were not trying to weasel your way into a frozen cocktail as you awarded hubby points for his global travel.  And, I sincerely hope you realize the impact you had on my week of relaxation as I had to be reminded by hubby, numerous times, that the pool & beach “belonged to him” since he was The Mayor and, as such, I had to request permission to enjoy any activities around the resort.

 

Should I ever find myself tossed aside, as many other wives of politicians all over the nation, I will have no one to blame but you.  For it was you, and only you, who declared my husband to be the mayor of places both near & far where he would have no shot in hell of ever being elected into office.

 

Sincerely,

 

The Mayoress (which apparently grants me no privileges whatsoever……………)

 

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I know, I know…. I’ve been a little MIA.  That’s because I’ve been traveling for work and, with meetings starting at 8:00am and running through dinner, it’s been a bit difficult to find time to blog.

 

Whenever I travel for business I always wonder how my home is faring without me.  I wonder how many soda cans have accumulated in the kitchen, how much toothpaste is in the bathroom sink and if the dust bunnies from our dog’s hair have woven together to make a new carpet for our hardwood floor.

 

Hubby does his best to “clean” the house before I come home.  As you may know, my definition of clean and hubby’s definition of clean are somewhat disconnected but… he does indeed put in a commendable effort.

 

The one thing that’s a given anytime I travel for multiple days is the status of our mail.

 

Mail is an interesting thing in our house… It’s one of MY chores.  Not the bringing in of the mail… this is generally a shared activity (depending on who passes the mailbox first).  “My” chore begins after the mail has arrived on my kitchen counter.

 

Now, you should probably understand that one of my other chores is paying the bills and general organization of our financial paperwork.  So, I suppose it makes some sense that a secondary responsibility for me would be mail.  However, it becomes somewhat comical whenever I’m away for any number of days.

 

If I’m home and hubby brings in the mail, he plops in on the counter and the entire stack waits for me.   And, if I’m away for business, each day hubby brings in the mail, plops it on the counter and the entire stack grows & grows as it waits for me to get home.    You’d probably say, well what are you complaining about… this system makes sense.  It’s your chore and hubby doesn’t want to risk “screwing anything up” so he creates this pile and allows you to handle it as you choose.  And on some level, I’d agree with you.

 

HOWEVER…. and here’s where hubby’s behavior starts to get fun…  if hubby spots something in the pile that’s particularly interesting to him.  He may actually decide to open it.   It could be personal mail for him (a b-day card etc..).  It could be mail pertaining to his Giants season tickets.  It could be mail that appears to relate to his hobby of scuba diving.  If it’s something that catches his eye… he will take the initiative and open it.  BUT.. after it’s opened, the mail as well as the ripped envelope, returns to the pile.  And, even if it’s junk mail, it all gets returned to the pile  (another example of his inability to do a full task ?????)

 

This is the part of this story that makes no sense to me. 

 

When hubby realizes that the scuba diving mail is actually a new credit card solicitation (ie junk mail) why does it return to the pile?  After hubby opens the envelope that appeared to be personal but was actually the local lawn care company trying to solicit our business (ie junk mail), why does it return to the pile?  So, when I finally get home after being away for 5 days…. I have a stack of mail on the counter to sort through INCLUDING all the opened mail that hubby has deemed unimportant garbage but hasn’t actually thrown away  (it must be those damn Last Three Feet again!)

 

So, as I stand there sorting through the stack of mail (85% of which could have easily been tossed the day it arrived) I can do nothing but shake my head as I throw away already opened junk mail.   And, don’t even get me started about how many times I’ll need to move the important mail that hubby did actually receive from the Giants.  Because apparently, the correct permanent location for this mail is our kitchen counter.  Unfortunately, I know that I’ll have to clean around it and move it several times around the kitchen for weeks & weeks, until I finally ask hubby why the hell HIS mail from 3 weeks ago is still sitting on the counter.

 

Yet another battle that I cannot seem to win!

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Since I’m on the theme of ROMANCE and traveling this week…. I’d like to share a story with you..

 

It’s a story of relaxation, romance, nerves and comedy.  A story that will show you that every-single-day, even in the midst of “romance”, there is laughter in our lives.

 

The year was 2003, the month was March, and we hopped on a plane for a tropical vacation in Jamaica to celebrate hubby’s b-day.

 

A little back story…

 

Hubby was still “in-training” at this point.  He still had boyfriend status but we were pretty serious. And, after we planned our getaway, there were some really odd, suspicious things leading up to our trip.

 

Let me highlight a few for you:

  • I debated getting my nails done before the trip because I was tied up with a lot of last minute work but oddly enough my roommate at the time, insisted I should find the time to go.
  • Hubby, who normally, could care less about my nails, expressed concern that I would not fit in a manicure…..(hmmmmmm??)…….

 

  • Hubby was, in general, just a wee bit off.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on why he was so odd, but let’s just say he was more odd than usual.
  • Hubby is also very bad liar… he’s gets all jittery and you can tell that he’s hiding something (a great trait in a marriage by the way — since I can pretty much always tell when he’s not sharing the whole story!)

 

Ok, let’s jump back to the trip.

 

I’m suspicious… 

 

We had previously gone engagement ring shopping, everyone seemed oddly concerned about my nails, hubby-to-be was acting strange and we were headed on a very romantic all-inclusive vacation.  Could it be that he was about to propose??  I’m anxious and excited and pretty sure that I’m right BUT, I don’t share my suspicions with anyone.

 

We get to Jamaica and we have to take a bus ride to our hotel (it’s about an hour away).   At one point the bus stops at a rest area and, when we get off,  hubby leaves ALL his bags on the bus (even his carry on).  Now, I’m paying very close attention to his behavior, so I realize that not only has he left his bags, but I can clearly see that there are not odd bulges in hubby’s pants (hey, get your mind out of the gutter).  So it’s pretty obvious he’s not carrying a ring box.  I’m totally deflated and I’m shocked about how I’ve misread all these signs.  But, frozen cocktails here I come…. so, I’m certain I’ll survive!

 

Fast forward a bit.

 

We’ve checked into our hotel.  I’m tired (we’ve been traveling since very early morning).  I’m unshowered.  I’m wishing hubby had used this romantic trip to propose but I’m going to make the best of it.

 

The bell hop walks us to our room all the while pointing our great romantic spots around the hotel.  and then he takes his time walking us to the balcony in our room, showing us the mini bar, explaining the safe and hubby is all weird again.  He’s sort of pushing the guy out of our room, he’s all antsy and trying very hard to speed this guy up (who’s obviously on island time and not privy to Hubby’s agenda).

 

Finally the bell hop leaves… I walk in the bathroom for a moment and the next thing I know hubby’s calling me into the other room.
BAM!  The ring is out and he’s proposing!

 

Hubby went through all this trouble to take me to a tropical paradise, with sunsets, beautiful beaches, and fine dining  — endless romantic proposal opportunities — and he proposes to me in the hotel room about 2 minutes after we check in! 

NOW THAT’S ROMANCE!

 

Apparently he couldn’t contain his nerves anymore and since he was just busting at the seams he felt he had to do it RIGHT away!  How cute is he??!!

 

I later say to him.  “Hubby, I was suspicious but, after I saw you leave your bag on the bus I was convinced I was wrong”

Hubby replies:  “Yeah, that was to throw you off!”

Me:  “Really?  Well it sure worked.  I couldn’t see a box in your pocket and I was sure you wouldn’t leave it on the bus so I figured I’d misread everything”

Hubby:  “Oh boy…  OK, I’ll come clean… it wasn’t to throw you off at all.  I really did leave the ring in the bag on the bus, and I was freaking out the entire time worrying that it would be stolen when we got back on!”

Me: “Oh God, you really left it on the bus”

Hubby:  “Yeah, I’m a moron… but I’m your moron now!”

 

And that’s the story of my engagement and I’m now reminded of it every time we take a tropical vacation…. it just set the stage for all that was to come: Funny stories, laughter, comedy and a marriage filled with endless “romance”.

Love you baby!

 

Do you have a funny proposal story?  If so, I’d love to hear it!

 

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