“Nobody’s gonna want you.. “
That’s what my grandma said to me, lying in her hospital bed. This was just after she told me the doctor had put rocks in her belly. Although what she actually said was “petras”. You see, my grandma was Greek (off the boat Greek) and by this time, she was also suffering from pretty bad dementia. She was elderly and had been in and out of the hospital for a while and things weren’t looking good. She had always been a spit fire. The kind of woman who speaks her mind, about anything and everything, no matter where she was or who was listening.
As she held my hand she asked me ..
“How old are you again?”
“I’m 30 Grandma”
Humpf…”and you’re not married yet?”
“Jesus Christ”, (she was a religious woman), “nobody’s gonna want you”.
From the unique vantage point of my Grandma, she could see that I was turning into an old maid right before her very eyes.
And, who knows, maybe I was…
And then…. it all changed when I met hubby!
As an “older” bride (and I use that word very loosely), I had a very developed sense of myself. I, very clearly, knew what I liked & what I wanted.
As hubby and I grew closer and we challenged each other, we learned that we have very different communication styles with regard to our needs and wants. Many of these opposing qualities have nothing to do with how compatible we are but rather, they illustrate the vast differences between men & women.
So, as I’ve navigated through this sea of marriage….. I’ve had to learn to float with the tide, use the wind to my benefit and sometimes duck for cover from the big swells. As much as I love the sea, I understand that I can’t always control it or fight it.
As the years have passed, I’ve learned to enjoy the calmness of the water on a clear day and to always enjoy the beautiful sunrise that follows a big storm.
But perhaps the best wisdom I’ve gained:
When a Woman Gets Married She’s Thinking: “I’m so excited to share my life with someone… now that there are 2 of us, we’ll be able to get twice as much done!”
When a Man Gets Married He’s Thinking: “Cool, now that there’s someone else sharing the work, I’ll only have to do half as much!”