Did you ever have an argument with your spouse where you both insist that you are right.
But really, all the while, as you ping pong back and forth to make your case, you know that YOU are the one who is right? And then, at the end of the debate, you both walk away feeling like you’ve “won”.
Well, to be honest, you probably didn’t win. There are really no winners when you both think you’ve won… there are just delusions… because sometimes (heck, most times) one of you is actually wrong (GASP! – who ME? Wrong? NO WAY!!!)
But on occasion, you sometimes feel that you’ve made such a firm stance on your correctness, that you’ve swayed the other person just enough. so that they’ve teetered towards your side of right from their side of wrong.
And there you have it. A stalemate of rightness.
As with most debates, the crux of the argument is oftentimes your perception of something, or your recollection of something, or perhaps even something you heard or saw. Therefore, there’s virtually no way whatsoever to prove your “rightness”. And, that’s where the debate ends. You can’t settle the argument because you can’t go back in time to replay what someone may have or may not have said. You can’t always agree on how you heard something or what someone was feeling. BUT, on the rarest of occasions… you do in fact have proof that you are right. And those days, well those days, are magical days. The “I told you so” days that every relationship thrives on (or perhaps dies on – but let’s not go there today!).
Too many debates end without an actual end. No closure. And, I’m here to tell you, there’s no closure more sweet than the closure of proven correctness (insert evil laugh here – muahahahahaha)
And that folks is the story I’d like to tell today. So… here it goes:
We have motion sensor security lights outside of our garage. For a really long time one of the lights wasn’t working, I asked hubby about it and he told me that the bulb wasn’t making a proper connection. So, the fixture sat there.. only ½ working for quite some time.
A couple of weeks ago when I arrived home after dark, I realized that the other light bulb was out.
So I say to hubby…. “Hon, I think we need to buy a new light bulb for outside”
He replies: “No. I told you, that light doesn’t work anymore.”
So I say: “Well, I know you mentioned that the one side wasn’t making a connection, but the other one is now out – so we should buy some new bulbs”
Visibly aggravated he says: “No, the entire light is broken and hasn’t worked for quite some time”
And I say: “No….. one bulb has been out for as long as I can remember but the other side has been lighting up until today”
And the debate has begun.
Me: “Hon, I’m absolutely positive that one light bulb has been working”
Hubby: “No it hasn’t”
Me: “Yes, it has”
Hubby: “No, you’re wrong… that light hasn’t worked for weeks”
I feel the need to pause in this story to remind you (or to direct you to some old posts – just click on the following links) about hubby’s Selective Vision and his inability to notice basic things around him (HERE or HERE). So, now that I’ve put that out there back to our debate.
Me: “The left side of the light has been working.. I’m pretty sure we just need a new bulb”
Hubby: “You are completely wrong. The light’s broken. It’s been broken for a while. It hasn’t been lighting up at all. We just need to buy a whole new light fixture”
Me: “Uhm… I know the one side has been broken… you told me about the problem months ago, but I’m still pretty sure the left side has been working.”
Hubby: “Nope, you are wrong.”
I can see this is going nowhere. We have hit a stalemate of correctness. We’re both right, neither of us is budging, and that’s it.
So I say: “Hmmppff… ok, I guess we need to buy a new light” and then I walk away. Now, this is that moment I spoke about above. The walk away moment where I still know that I am right.
A day or 2 go by. I go to the store. I buy a new light fixture AND a new light bulb. When I get home, I wait until it’s dark and I replace the left light bulb. HELLLOOOOOOOOO…. Let There Be Light! So, just for the hell of it (I’m on a roll now). I decide to take that brand new light blub out of the left socket and I put it into the right socket (remember – the one that’s totally broken and has been for months). And, lo and behold…… Let There Be Light! Now I’m aggravated that I have to go back to the store because not only do I need to return the new fixture BUT I also didn’t have the foresight to buy 2 light bulbs. So, a day and 2 new light bulbs later, I have a fully functioning light fixture outside. Imagine that!!
I say nothing. There’s no need for “I told you so’s”. The illuminated driveway will speak for itself…. Or, so I think.
Now, I’ll refer you back to hubby’s inability to actually notice things around him.
It’s been 5 full days since I “fixed” the light. 7 full days since our original debate. And, there’s been no mention from a certain someone about the ray of light that has magically appeared outside our garage. So, maybe, just maybe, he hasn’t actually noticed it yet. Perhaps folks, you are now joining me in my “I told you so” moment because if he really hasn’t seen it, this blog is what’s going to give it away!
There are really no words necessary.. I know I was right. Somebody else will eventually (at least after reading this blog!) know I was right. And, we’re back to having light on our driveway. Did everybody win…… well yes, in this particular debate, I do think so!
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