Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Yes, I’ve been missing for a LONG time.   Needless to say, I’ve resurfaced for a day to give you a throw back Christmas post from long ago in THD history.

Where have we been?  Well, we’ve been busy… you know, the kind of busy that can only come from a tornado of a 4 year old.   It’s a good busy.  And a tear out my hair, barely know my name, busy.  But all-in good.   Maybe someday, I’ll find time to get back into blogging – MY OH MY, DO I MISS IT!

If you’ve missed me…. let me know.   It would be awesome to hear from you – IS ANYONE IS STILL OUT THERE READING!?   PLEASE SHOW YOURSELF and let me know if you’ll still be here when I find time to write again!

Anywhoooo… in the spirit of the holiday.  Please ENJOY this throw back!




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Do I Like That?

A #TBT post….. This one will be forever known as the “Ginger Incident”. ENJOY!

The Hubby Diaries

A vacation dinner conversation.


Me: “What do you think you’re gonna have?”

Hubby: “I’m not sure, I’m between the salmon or the chicken”

Me: “Really?”

Hubby: “Yeah why?”

Me: “I don’t know… I guess cause I read the whole menu, and I was pretty sure you’d decide on the pork”

Hubby: “The pork, really?

Me: “Yeah, they have a shredded Mayan pork”

Hubby: “I like that?”

Me: “Well, you love pulled pork, don’t you?”

Hubby: “Yeah, I guess so”

Me: “Then why wouldn’t you like this pork?”

Hubby: “Uhm… I don’t know…”

Dinnner arrives.


Hubby: “This is one of the best dinners I’ve had”

Me: “I figured you’d like it”

Hubby: “I guess I forgot that I liked pork”

Me: “Why do I know what you eat better than you do?”

Hubby:  “I have no idea.. but thanks!”

I’ve mentioned that hubby has come a…

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It’s been a while since I’ve done a #TBT post… so here’s one that many people seemed to like!

(Don’t forget to clink on the link at the bottom to see #11-27!!)


The Hubby Diaries

When I first started this blog I made a list of “Marriage Truths” that have truly stood the test of time.

Today I’ve decided to add some new things to my list… this is probably also a good “Things I Wish I’d known Before I Got Married” List!

  1. Marriage is fun… but fun doesn’t always come easy.
  2. Men & women almost never, ever, see things through the same eyes
  3. “Clean” is not always clean.  This becomes even more apparent as your family begins to grow
  4. The TV is never big enough
  5. Bright lights, bells and whistles make just about anything better (and new electronics/technology can sometimes please even the grumpiest man!)
  6. Nagging & talking can sometimes be synonymous
  7. A man cave can be a lifesaver (for both of you!)
  8. Sometimes a hug can go a long way
  9. Communication only works when you are both listening………..
  10. Laughing together is important…

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For those of you who have a loving husband like mine, you’ll likely appreciate this story.  It’s a story of compassion, caring & love.  It’s a story about sympathy, empathy and sensitivity.  It’s a glimpse into how wonderful he can be when the chips are down. When those around him are suffering.  And, when someone he loves needs tenderness and kindness.

 OR IS IT???


If you’ve read more than one post here at THD, you likely know that the wonderful picture I painted above is likely NOT my hubby.  My hubby is all about sarcasm, laughter,  jabs at his (awesome) wife and making my life difficult or at least minorly challenging.


So, here goes my story!


This past weekend I started experiencing some throbbing pain my lower jaw.  Now, it’s wasn’t debilitating pain.. just uncomfortable and recurring.   I couldn’t actually pinpoint the source of the issue, it was either my jaw or perhaps my back molars.   I took some advil, drank some wine and figured it would eventually go away.  Well, 2 days later it’s still bothering me and the news stations are starting to report about an “epic” and “prolific” snow storm on its way to the Northeast.  I don’t know about you but the word prolific should never be used to describe a snow storm.. and, with the accuracy of most weathermen, it’s probably a term that can create mass hysteria (aka – 9 mile long lines in my grocery store and shelves without any bread).  Anyhoooo,  on the cusp of an historic storm, I decide it might be prudent to get in to see a dentist immediately so I don’t find myself with some awful dental issue without the ability to get to a dentist because of 3 feet of snow!


So.. I should give a little bit of background before I take you to the dentist with me.  I have TMJ plus I tend to deal with ALL the stress in my life by clenching my teeth while I sleep.  It’s just awful and if you have ever been a teeth clencher or a teeth grinder you likely know how much it sucks.  So, I often wear a night guard (I know – immensely attractive and sexy) to bed each night.  It’s supposed to relieve the pressure on my back teeth to solve (or at lease ease) some of the issues I have.  So, back to my throbbing pain.  I mentioned before I couldn’t really identify the source…. And this is simply because if I’d had a particularly bad night with my teeth clenching (probably an output of stepping over one too many items on the stairs or staring at one too many Christmas bins that have yet to be put away) it’s quite possible that it would resolve itself and I wouldn’t need a visit to the dentist.


But – cue impending snow storm music – I figure it’s better to be safe than sorry and I scurry off to the dentist!


Long story short… the dentist determines that it’s likely not a major tooth issue but rather a flare up of a muscle problem in my jaw, directly related to my teeth clenching.   He suggests that I don’t do anything “taxing” to aggravate the issue (don’t gnaw on any hard bagels, no chewing gum etc.. etc.).  He then also suggests that I limit my stress levels so I can relax my jaw and ‘give it a break’.   Now, since reducing my stress levels would have to include either killing my husband or getting him to complete some basic household chores  – the former option the most likely – he basically says to just do everything I can to relax and not put any undo aggravation on my swollen muscles.


So, on the way home I call hubby and relay my diagnosis.  I’m barely done telling him that it’s not an issue with my tooth and he’s already laughing at me and saying “So, you got a diagnosis from the dentist that resulted in a suggestion that you should stop talking!!!” (I can practically see him grinning through the phone)  “This is the best day EVER – the dentist just told you to stop talking!!”.  He’s giggling and laughing and quite jolly, as he says again.  “Hahahaha.. you were just told by the dentist to shut up!!”.   I calmly say to him… “I’m so glad you’re happy I’m in pain.  The dentist didn’t tell me to stop talking.  He simply said to relax and not aggravate it”.  Then I hung up on him because I can feel myself clenching my jaw in aggravation and wanting to punch him through the phone.


15 minutes later I’m back home, standing in my kitchen about to take more advil and the phone rings.  It’s hubby….. OH JOY!


“I called the dentist” he said

“You did what??” I asked him

“I called the dentist.” he repeats

“You called the dentist”  …. now I’m a broken record

“Yes, I called the dentist,  to thank him………………”   (yes, this really did happen)

“You called the dentist to thank him.”  I’d like to say that I can’t believe what I’m hearing… but I do believe it because well….. it’s MY hubby and this is the life I’ve chosen

“Yep, I called him to thank him for giving you a diagnosis and a recommendation of not talking.   It’s a great gift he’s given me and I had to thank him!!”

“You’re serious aren’t you?”  I feel the need to verify what I already know……………….that I’m married to a lunatic!

“I sure am.  I talked to the girls at the desk and then I spoke to the Dr. AND….. (he proudly declares) they are all hysterically laughing!”  he’s so happy with himself


****** SIGH ******


“Oh… by the way” he said  (as if the first part of this story wasn’t enough)  “I also called my Dad… he can’t stop laughing either.  And, I called my brother too…. He wants to know exactly what’s wrong with you because he wants to see if we can afflict his wife with the same problem so the dentist can recommend she shouldn’t do any talking either…………………”


Such compassion.  Such love.    I really am so lucky to have him in my life.


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Hello!  I’ve missed you all.  It’s been an insane holiday season filled with family time, illnesses and WAY too much work.   Perhaps you’ve enjoyed the respite from my nutso stories or maybe, just maybe, you’ve been missing me ….. a little bit??


Either way, I stole some time from a long list of other things I should be doing to write a post today.


I’ve written many times about how difficult it seems to be for men to find things in their own home.  And I’m not talking about the silver pie server that makes an appearance at one dinner every 5-6 years.   Or the cookie cutters that only come out at Christmas time – you know, the ones that hubby probably doesn’t even know we own… even though he partakes in consuming probably 85+% of the cookies, lovingly cut with these and painstakingly decorated each holiday?   I’ve shared stories about him not being able to find things in the pantry that are RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.  I’ve blogged about the mysteriously missing cable modem.  And, I’ve also begrudgingly showed you a picture of a closet where misplaced & “lost” items go to die.


I’m always baffled about how most men (more than I can count in my own life) have ZERO idea where many things go.  This is showcased by the miraculous day they empty the dishwasher.  When the stars align, Mercury is in retrograde and they have a moment of complete love, helpfulness, craziness and decide to partake in a household chore (GASP!).  And then, stay with me ladies  – you all know this moment – they stand proudly next to a pile of items they’ve removed from the dishwasher and placed on the counter only to declare that they’ve gone as far as they can with this task because “they have no idea where the rest of the items go….”.  All the while, simultaneously waiting for a pat on the back for all the help they’ve just provided you!!  ****SIGH*****


But what’s even more perplexing to me is how they sometimes seem to lack knowledge of many of their own things.  I mean heck, it’s one thing to not know about kitchen items (apparently MY domain – even though I don’t have recollection of accepting this domain as mine).  But, when they forget that they own something, forget where they put their favorite shirt, or belt, or tool… it just doesn’t compute for me!


So, take this example and help me to understand.


Over the holidays we decided to have some family pictures taken as a surprise gift for my parents.  Mostly grandchildren pictures but we did a few full family shots.  And, like any dorky family picture, we decided to get all matchy-match.  You can groan if you want – Hubby sure did!   Anyhow, part of the plan for our outfits was for everyone to wear brown shoes.


So, hubby gets his “brown” shoes and puts them on.  He’s ready to go.


I look at his feet and I’m like… “Uhm hon?  Those shoes aren’t brown.”  To which he replies… “sure they are!”.


What’s with men and colors?  The shoes he has on are just simply not brown.  Maybe greenish, or some weird dark grey with a bizarre tint to them.    Even now, I’m not 100% sure I can define the color of the shoes he had on.  BUT, they were not brown.


So I say to him… “just go grab shoes that are actually brown”.   He gives me that look…. you know the look, the one that says “you’re crazy lady – I don’t know what you’re talking about” look.   Then he speaks, “These are the closest I have to brown… these will have to do”.  So I say, “No, you have actual brown shoes”.  “No I don’t”,  “Yes you do”, “I don’t think so”…. (you can see where this is going).  So, I go upstairs into his closet.  I move around piles of crap, things that have been missing for years (if you don’t remember how he keeps his closet – or drawers – check HERE & HERE) and lo and behold I find brown shoes… and then another pair of brown shoes.  I bring both pairs downstairs.   He looks at them…. “Hummmpf” he says, “I guess I do have brown shoes”……………………………


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The Naked Chef

Since I’m absurdly busy and Thanksgiving will interfere with my #TBT post. I thought it would be appropriate today to share a throwback Turkey Day post from 2009. ENJOY!

The Hubby Diaries

With Turkey Day fast approaching I have had some time today to reflect on past holidays with family.

There are a few things that are guaranteed at one of our holiday extravaganzas.

  • Free flowing cocktails
  • Endless courses of amazing food
  • Non-stop, gut wrenching laughter


It’s the laughter part that I’d like to chat about today.


We are a family of game players.  We love to try out new group games at holiday functions.  There are a few standards like Catch Phrase, Cranium and Apple to Apples.  With each game, comes a story that we can laugh about, over and over, as the years go by.

Today, I’d like to give you a glimpse into the comedic chaos that is our family.

I’ll start with Apples to Apples.  If you haven’t played this game here’s the basic premise: Each player has cards that portray a person, place, thing…

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